a christmas song for you

I just wanted to wish everyone an early Merry Christmas. And what better way to say it than with an SNL sketch featuring Justin Timberlake dressed up like the lead singer from Color Me Badd? The lyrics are on the vulgar side, so be warned -- if you're at work, wear some headphones.

Happy Holidays everyone!

random musings...

Some random thoughts for the day:

• I had a chance to move to New York about a year and a half ago, but I decided to move to Los Angeles instead. But this article makes me wonder if I made the wrong choice.
  
• Yao Ming is actually good, people. See, Asians got game, yo.*
• Friday Night Lights is the best show no one is watching. It's entertaining even if you don't watch football. No, really.
• Eric Gagne is on his way out of Dodger town after spending 2 years on the DL. From electrifying to invisible, I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about this news. But I'll always associate the words "Game Over" to him. Well to him and to Pole Position II. Damn, I was bad at that game.
• My favorite Speaker of the House ever? Tip O'Neal. I have no idea what he did, that's just a sweet name.
• I can't believe Christmas is only a couple weeks away. Man, I can't wait for my mom to buy me another red sweater vest. Gee mom, you know me so well.
• I have been trying to get into the Showtime Original Series™ Dexter, but it's really not that compelling. Why all the critical acclaim?
• If you had $25 to spend on a White Elephant gift for a gift exchange on Sunday, what would you buy?
• Did I mention UCLA beat USC this year? What? I did? Like a million times? Oh, good.

* Statement applies only to Asians 7'6" tall and above

oxymoron of the day

From the Associated Press via Yahoo! News:

World's oldest person dies at 116

MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bolden, recognized as the world's oldest person, died Monday in a nursing home, the home's administrator said. She was 116. Bolden was born Aug. 15, 1890, according to the Gerontology Research Group, a Los Angeles organization that tracks the ages of the world's oldest people.

The headline should probably read Ex-World's Oldest Person dies, since the title is lost immediately as the last breath is drawn. My question is this... does the next oldest person jump for joy when they hear the title is up for grabs? Or is that just too risky with their calcium-deficient brittle bones?

welcome to the real world

The Real World, Season 473 has kicked off with a new cast set in Denver, Colorado. You know how I know it's in Colorado? Because they tell me so in the opening credits of every single episode. "The Real World. Denver, Colorado." Thanks kids. I thought for sure it was Denver, Mississippi, but nope. I got moded.

Some quick reasons why to watch this show:

• Constant bickering between very conservative and church-going, Steven, and his homosexual roommate Davis: Steven thinks homosexuality is 100% wrong. Davis, well, he is 100% gay. Somehow I don't think the math adds up here. Good luck, guys.
  
• Girl on girl make-out sessions in the Real World hot tub: Within hours of moving into the Denver house, roomies Jenn and Brooke make out (and not in a jokey sort of way, they really go to town). Another roommate, Tyrie, an ex-gangbanger from Omaha, Nebraska (yes, a Nebraska gang-banger) is driven mad by the whole experience, screaming, "Can I get in there? What? You won't let me have some?" As Ron Burgandy might say, stay classy, Denver.
  
• Alex, the object of all of the female castmates' desires: Alex, who seems oddly effeminate in a Lance Bass-two-years-ago kind of way, makes out and sleeps in the same bed as roommate Colie approximately 6 hours after arriving in Denver and then makes out with and has sex with hot tub make-out queen (and former Raiderette cheerleader) Jenn the next night. Even Lance Bass would get props for that.
  
• Weeping, weeping, and more weeping: In a 24-hour span, Jenn befriended and then betryed Colie, leading to a tear-filled apology, culminating in Jenn decreeing that she loved Colie's friendship so much that Colie would be one of her bridesmaids some day. Girls, let's give it, say 48 hours before you start making grandiose claims like that.
  

Keep in mind, this all happened in the first couple episodes. Look, I didn't think much would come from a show set in Denver, but my goodness, you kids exceeded all expectations. Now don't blow it, like the Austin cast did a couple years back.

On the Salinger scale, where a Party of Five is the highest rating, I give the Real World, Denver a solid Charlie, Bailey, Julia, and half a Claud...

3.5 Salingers

The Real World, Denver airs on MTV about 9,000 times each week

a couple final ucla notes

Can't we all just get along?
From the Daily Bruin:

As the game ended, UCLA students who attempted to get onto the field were pepper-sprayed by police officers. According to second-year student Matt Ross, students stopped trying to rush the field when they were met by security guards and police with pepper spray, but were pushed over a short fence and onto the field by students from behind. "(A) cop saw me falling on my face, and instead of trying to help me up, he held me down by the shirt and pepper-sprayed me in the face," Ross said.

USC Cheerleaders are smart as a whip:

go bruins!

An amazing defensive display on Saturday carried the Bruins to one of the most unforgettable upsets of #2 USC. It didn't matter that we were only 6-5 before the game started -- this was our National Championship, and we played like it. Surrounded by a sea of red in the Trojan alumni section, I found myself celebrating with only a handful of other UCLA fans while thousands of USC fans looked on in utter disbelief. Truly memorable... I'm glad I ended up getting tickets to the game at the very last minute to share in the victory.

Go Bruins! Thanks for making my day.

just stop already... for your own sake!

Michael Richards is at it again. As if it wasn't enough to disparage African-Americans at a comedy club a couple weeks ago, E! Online reports;

A woman who attended an earlier Richards comedy show told TMZ.com that the actor lashed out at an audience member, yelling, "You f---ing Jew. You people are the cause of Jesus dying."

After the quote was reported to the press, Richards told his publicist that no one should take offense since he himself was Jewish. Like a homey sparring with one of his boys by dropping the "n" word, Richards could spew anti-semetism since, well, he was a Jew himself. His publicist quickly went to the press and proclaimed Richard's Jewish heritage should protect him from any negative feedback. Only one minor problem...

By the actor's own acknowledgment, he is: (a) not the son of a Jewish mother, (b) not a convert and therefore, even if some of his best friends are Jewish he is (c) not Jewish.

Um... good one Kramer. You know what, just stop. Stop apologizing, stop making excuses, stop talking to the press, stop doing your "comedy" act. At this point, we don't care if you're a racist, because even if you're not, you're a nut job. So do yourself a favor and just disappear. It's ok, in a couple weeks we'll all forget about you. We did it immediately after Seinfeld ended, should be easy enough to do it again. Deal?

say it ain't so, bruins

Former UCLA Bruin cornerback, Ricky Manning Jr., was suspended for Sunday's NFL game between Manning's Chicago Bears and the New England Patriots. I had heard on TV that he was arrested for felony assault at a Westwood Denny's near the UCLA campus. This led me to search the net to find out more info, and what I found was quite sobering.

From the New York Post:

According to the victim's claims in the police report obtained by NBCsports.com, Manning, Tyler Ebell and Maurice Jones-Drew - all former UCLA football players - were among a group of customers who began to bully 25-year-old Soroush Sabzi, who was seated alone nearby, working on his laptop.

When Sabzi, a student and Swedish citizen of Persian descent, asked to be left alone, the insults, including, "Are you a faggot?" and "You f---ing Jew," continued.

Sabzi, the police report continues, next called out for restaurant management. At that point, Manning approached Sabzi, who was still seated, stood above him and called him a "an ugly f---ing Jew" and a "faggot."

When, according to the report, the victim again asked to be left alone, Manning began to slap him. Manning's accomplices joined in. Sabzi was punched to the ground then kicked, leaving "visible injuries to his face, cheek, head and [sic] lost consciousness for approximately 10 seconds."

And knowing that the NY Post can be sensationalistic, I dug around for more evidence, and uncovered this post on the the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office website:

Manning was with two other former UCLA football players -- Maurice Drew, 21, and Tyler Ebell, 23 -- when Manning allegedly exchanged words with a customer in a Denny’s in Westwood in the early morning hours on April 23. Manning assaulted the victim before leaving the restaurant. He was arrested by LAPD officers a short time later.

The assault charge was dismissed in June against Drew for insufficient evidence. On Sept. 12, Judge Amy Hogue reduced the felony assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury charge against Ebell to a misdemeanor. His case was referred to the City Attorney’s Office for prosecution.

What deeply saddens me is not just Manning's actions, for he is a certified a-hole at best, but the fact that Tyler Ebell and Maurice Drew (who was cleared of wrongdoing, but admits to being at the scene and did nothing to stop the beating of an innocent man) were also involved.

Is this what UCLA teaches our athletes? That they are above the law? Coach Bob Toledo got fired for letting his players run amok (see the Handicap Parking Scandal of 1999), but a couple illegal parkers were nothing compared to former players who assault random strangers. Why is no one making a bigger deal about this? I actually find it hard to root for my own team knowing that we raised a group of belligerent, racist players like these. Ridiculous.

kramer is a racist, jerry... a racist!

Apparently Kramer is like George W. Bush after the Katrina disaster. As Kanye West might say, he hates black people. Check out the sordid details from TMZ.com:

Richards, who played the wacky Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show "Seinfeld," appeared onstage at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. Kyle Doss, an African-American, told TMZ he and some friends were in the cheap seats and he was playfully heckling Richards when suddenly, the comedian lost it.

The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f--king fork up your ass."

Richards continued, "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf--ker. Throw his ass out. He's a n-----! He's a n-----! He's a n-----! A n-----, look, there's a n-----!"

The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, "They're going to arrest me for calling a black man a n-----."

One of the men who was the object of Richard's tirade was outraged, shouting back "That's un-f--king called for, ain't necessary."

After the three-minute tirade, it appears the majority of the audience members got up and left in disgust.

Crazy, crazy stuff. It's even more unbelievable when you see if for yourself. Check out the full video below:



I suspect we won't be welcoming Richards on Def Comedy Jam anytime soon. And given the damage done, Even Kramer's TV lawyer, Jackie Childs, couldn't help him out of this mess.

friday night lights - tv review

It's a TV show that's based on a movie that's based on a book that's based on an a real-life Texas high school football team. Don't worry, that's about as complicated as this show gets. The rest of the show is straight-forward and even relatively predictable, but in an endearing way. Friday Night Lights is an entertaining hour of television, with action scenes that deliver enough to please your average football fan, along with enough heart to please your average television drama lover.

Premise:

Friday Night Lights follows the exploits of the fictional Panthers, located in Dillon, Texas (rather than the real-life Permetian Panthers from Odessa, Texas detailed in the movie of the same name). Dillon is a small town who's athletic heart beats around the exploits of their high school football team, so much so, they've built a stadium that seats over 35,000 people -- larger than many college teams can boast.

New head coach, Eric Taylor, is met with exceedingly impossible demands when his star quarterback is paralyzed in the first game of the season, and he must win with a complete novice at QB, Matt Saracen. The struggle to be a good coach, father, and mentor while pleasing an ever vocal and negative town hell-bent on winning every game is the defining theme of the show.

What's Good:

The show does a great job of capturing the passion and obsession of football in a small town. The football action is at times overly melodramatic, but it never fails to suck you in until the final whistle.

What's Bad:

As mentioned, the plotlines on Friday Night Lights are very straightforward and at times predictable. Preachy at times, it is what it is -- a solid, entertaining football show. If you're looking for more than that, you've come to the wrong place.

Breakout Character:

Matt Saracen, former geek now starting at quarterback for the mighty Panthers, learns to balance learning the game of football, building relationships with doubting teammates, a Dairy Queen-type job, an Alzheimer's afflicted grandmother, and a father who's stationed in Iraq -- all in a day's work for your average high schooler.

Newcomer Zach Gilford does a great job of capturing the dueling emotions that Saracen faces as he grows from a quiet teen to a confident starting quarterback.

Overall Recommendation:

I like it. I like it for the same reason I like Snickers bars. They're satisfying when you're in the mood for something sweet and simple. It's a nice change of pace from the Lost's of the world. Watch it. Soon... before it's gone.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, I'm saving a seat for Bailey, Charlie, Julia and a half Owen.

3.5 Salingers

Friday Night Lights airs Tuesdays at 8pm on NBC

studio 60 - tv review

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a behind the scenes look at a Saturday Night Live-esque late night sketch show. Studio 60 is written by Aaron Sorkin, the writer of the television shows The West Wing and Sports Night, as well as the movies A Few Good Men and The American President. With that kind of track record, I was eagerly anticipating this show. Unfortunately, what worked so well for The West Wing -- polically charged, hyper-intellectual conversations delivered rapid-fire while travelling through the halls -- is one of Studio 60's biggest drawbacks. In the Oval Office, these conversations anchor the show. Presidential Cabinet members are supposed to be hip to the musings of the conservative right and radical left. On the set of a sketch comedy show, these same conversations are as out of place as Bobby Brown at a Say No to Drugs rally.

Premise:

Oscar-winning writer, Matt Albie, and his best friend, Director/Producer Danny Tripp are derailed from making more hit Hollywood films due to Danny failing a drug test. After the former executive producer of Studio 60 goes live on TV to blast the network, the state of television in general, and the overall IQ of everyone that allowed television programming to hit rock bottom, Matt and Danny are brought in to right the ship. Matt's biting wit and amazing writing ability catapults Studio 60 back to the ratings elite, as we see how a live comedy sketch show operates behind the scenes.

What's Good:

For anyone who's as into the television world as I am, there are moments where Studio 60 does a great job in showing us what life is like on the other side of the tube.

What's Bad:

For a show that's supposed to be about a comedy classic, everytime they show any sort of comedy sketch, the results are laughably unfunny. Matt Albie is supposed to be some sort of comedic genius, but his sketches are ridiculously out of touch with anything remotely resembling humor. If they just focused the show on the backstage stuff and never showed us the actual sketches, the world would be a much better place.

Even worse, the dialogue is so forced at times that it delivers more laughs than the supposed comedy scenes. We have the lead players discussing religion, politics, policy decisions, and current events like they were on Capitol Hill. I highly doubt that Will Ferrell and the dude who played Mango had unshakable stances on the role of Christian right in television programming. Well, ok, Mango probably did, but definitely not Ferrell.

Breakout Character:

Sarah Paulson's as Matt Albie's ex, Harriet Hayes, does a good job in reflecting her character's struggles in balancing her beliefs with performing some of the controversial sketches on the show.

Overall Recommendation:

I wanted to like this show so badly, believe me I did, but lackluster is probably the best way to describe it. It's neither as smart as it thinks it is, nor as deep. I wish Sorkin would shift the focus on creating new characters and situations, rather than bringing The West Wing to Hollywood. I half expect Martin Sheen to come on board and run the show as the new network president just to make the process complete.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, I'm saving a seat for Bailey and Julia. An average rating for an average show.

2 Salingers

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip airs Mondays at 10pm on NBC

six degrees - tv review

Six Degrees is another new fall show this season. Six Degrees is written by J.J. Abrams, who penned Felicity (watchable), Alias (a very good show until Abrams left to write Lost), What About Brian (terrible), and Lost (well, you know). Given his track record, there was absolutely no way to predict how this show would fare. Well, now I know. And knowing was half the battle.

Premise:

Everyone in the world is connected in some way. They just are. And in this show, boy is that true. All the cast members are drawn together by fate or coincidence, as their storylines collide. Um... yeah. That's the whole premise.

What's Good:

The show is set in New York City. And New York is a totally fun place. Well, not as potrayed in this show. But in real life. It's cool. And they have great pizza.

What's Bad:

The storylines are completely contrived to get all of the characters to interact. The dialogue is wooden, outcomes predictable, and the character interaction is not entirely believable. But other than that, the show is a gem.

Breakout Character:

Hmmm... if I had to choose, I guess I'd pick the guy who drives people around. Because his brother is a shady underworld mob-type charater who has a huge scar cut clear across his face. So I guess I'm not choosing the driver guy at all. I'm choosing the thuggy brother. Who has been on-screen for a total of 12 mins in 4 episodes. Great.

Overall Recommendation:

Ok, this review is ridiculously lackluster, I know. In all honesty, I'm not the target demographic. This is aimed at the Felicity/What About Brian crowd, and if you liked those shows, you'd probably watch this one too. It's somewhere dead smack in between those predecessors in terms of quality.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, Claudia and half an Owen have a seat at the table.

1.5 Salingers

Six Degrees airs Thursday at 10pm on ABC

yet more proof that stingrays are evil

From the AP newswire:

LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Fla. - An 81-year-old man was in critical condition Thursday after a stingray flopped onto his boat and stung him, leaving a foot-long barb in his chest similar to the accident that killed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin.

My god, these stingrays are worse than Al Qaeda. Why are we focusing on preventing people from taking shampoo and contact solution onto airplanes when stingrays are JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER and killing people? I'm personally raising the terror alert to yellow. No f-that. Orange.

heroes - tv review

Since I've been lax in reviewing the new fall television shows, I'll start off with a bang and take you straight to the best of the bunch. The best new show? Well, that's easy. NBC's Heroes. Don't believe me? Here's a quote from my co-worker, Steve:

God, this show is so good. I'm all in.

See, I told you. It's THAT good.

Premise:

Think X-Men, the early years. The story focuses on a very diverse group of folks with super powers who are just discovering their new talents. They come from very different walks of life -- a cheerleader, a single mom, a Japanese office worker, a politician, a nurse, a police officer, a drug-addicted artist -- but are brought together, whether by coincidence or fate, for a larger purpose. How large? How about "saving the world" large. Would that be something that would interest you?

What's Good:

The storyline, which is as intriguing as the first season of Lost. You're left trying to piece together all of the clues as each episode unfolds to try to make sense of this universe of characters. What powers do these people possess? How will they all find each other? Who will use their powers for good? Who will use their powers for evil? How will they save the world? Why does the little blonde girl wear her cheerleading outfit 90% of the time? There is not a single show that I look forward to watching as much as Heroes from week to week. Yes, this includes the aforementioned Lost.

What's Bad:

The fun of Heroes is the mystery behind how these super folks identify and unite against a common evil. The problem is, once they actually do unite and vanquish this evil, will the show become the Justice League of America? Who wants to see a group of superheroes in tights fight evil week after week? Boo for that.

Breakout Character:

Hiro, the Japanese office worker who learns that he has the power to manipulate time and space, is a comic-book junkie. He's hip to the fact he has special gifts and he takes to heart the Peter Parker mantra that with great power comes great responsibility. The tongue in cheek way his character is written, pairing his naivete with his true belief that he was meant for bigger things, is fun to watch. Way more fun than seeing Ali Larter take herself too seriously for the 20,321th time.

Overall Recommendation:

Watch it. Watch it now. Need to catch up? They have recaps on NBC.com, as well as full episodes on iTunes.

UPDATE: There will be a Heroes marathon on NBC this Sunday to watch all the episodes of the season so far. TiVo it or something, won't you?

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, Bailey, Claudia, Charlie, and Julia get invited to dinner.

4 Salingers

Heroes airs Mondays at 9pm on NBC

why is this man famous?

Can someone take a couple seconds to explain to me the Dane Cook phenomenon? I really don't get it. This guy is the absence of funny. Yet people adore him, especially adolecent girls who scream his name. Why? Because he looks so smug all the time and grows just enough facial hair to give him that i'm a slacker dude stubble?

I blame MySpace for all of this. Damn you.

and the world shrugged...

Recently demoted Arizona Cardinal QB, Kurt Warner, said that this may be his last season in the league. Are you telling me there is no place in the NFL for a 35-year-old journeyman backup quarterback who's main talent is alternating between throwing interceptions and getting sacked in the pocket? What is the world coming to?

tour de scandal

2006 Tour de France champion, Floyd Landis, has been accused of doping due to a high level of testosterone in his system after his tour win. This has lead many in cycling circles to cry in outrage, urging that Landis be stripped of his Tour title.

In his defense, Landis proclaimed:

"We will explain to the world why this is not a doping case but a natural occurrence,"

"I would like to make absolutely clear that I am not in any doping process," Landis said. "I ask not to be judged by anyone, much less sentenced by anyone."

To which the world responded:

"You ride a bicycle, you're skinny as a rail, you're freaky looking, you're name is Floyd, and you won a race in France. If your name ain't Lance, NOBODY CARES."

today's laugh at the expense of someone else's misfortune award goes to...

... this guy:



Mental note, if there's a St. Louis Cardinals game occuring at the same time a huge storm front moves into the area, do not attend the game. I repeat, DO NOT ATTEND the game. Ouch.

(not so) shocking news of the day

Lance Bass, former NSYNC boy band member and wanna-be astronaut, has *gasp* come out of the closet. In the E! online news article that shocks absolutely no one, Lance says:

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said [that I was gay], it would overpower everything," he told People.

"I didn't know: Could that be the end of 'N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, 'Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did."

"The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that [the rumors] really were starting to affect my daily life," he told People. "Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

Kudos to Lance for confirming the absolutely obvious. Next news flash: Puppies are furry. Shocking! In any case, let the record show that Lance was not the end of NSYNC. Horrible songs where they danced like puppets did the dirty work for him.

Lance is linked to a winner from one of the various Amazing Race seasons -- Reichen Lehmkuhl. Reichen was also linked to Clay Aiken in the past, which only proves one thing. This Reichen guy has terrible taste in washed up homosexual singers.

haley's comet... er, saturn

Haley Joel Osment, you know the freaky little robot boy from A.I. is in the hospital after getting in a car accident early this morning. From the E! Online article:

The Sixth Sense star was hospitalized in Pasadena early Thursday after reportedly losing control of his car, hitting a brick pillar and flipping his vehicle.

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, the 18-year-old actor was en route to his home in the L.A. suburb of La Canada-Flintridge at roughly 2:10 a.m. Thursday when his 1995 Saturn jumped the curb, collided with a four-foot brick mailbox pillar and overturned before coming to a stop.

The onetime Oscar nominee was alone in the car at the time of the accident and no other vehicles were involved.

Apparently Haley Joel is doing ok, but I nearly wept him after I read this. Oh, not because he was in an accident. Solely for the fact that he drove a 1995 SATURN. Here's what my sixth sense tells me -- movie stars should not drive the same car as my 5th grade P.E. teacher. They just shouldn't.

Haley Joel, get well soon, buddy. And then get yourself to a BMW or Mercedes-Benz dealership ASAP.

i see your 360 and i raise you 720

Someone's got hops...



That was And1 mix-tape tour player, "The Air Up There" (as an aside, these And1 nicknames are getting a bit out of hand -- if you're named after a lame Kevin Bacon movie, you can't really be that street, can you?).

What's more impressive though, the 720 or Vince Carter dunking over a guy who stands 720 inches tall (ok, he's 7'4", but that's still really friggin' tall). To refresh your memory:



Boo-ya.

well isn't that "bazaar"

Stealing straight out of the Demi Moore handbook, a pregnant Britney Spears poses naked on the cover of the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar.

The best thing about this is the text on the cover that reads, "487 Best New Ideas." Apparently they left out best new idea #488 -- DON'T POSE ON THE COVER OF A NATIONAL MAGAZINE WHILE NAKED AND PREGNANT!

meet jordan farmar, your newest los angeles laker...

Yes, another sports post. Sorry to all my sports hatin' peeps -- I'll have something about Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Entourage up here very soon to satisfy your pop culture lovin' sweet tooth.

I just had to comment about the NBA Draft, in particular, my Los Angeles Lakers. Since I'm both a die-hard Laker fan, and a fanatic UCLA Bruin alum, the Jordan Farmar pick at number 26 is especially near and dear to my heart. Honestly, I'm not quite sure where I stand on Farmar -- he is inconsistent but visibly talented. If there's one spot the Lakers need help at, it's the point, so Farmar's not a bad choice here. My quick observations:

STRENGTHS:

• He has a will to win -- While the rest of the Bruins folded faster than 2-7 off-suit in the NCAA Championship game, Farmar stepped up and was fearless driving to the hole. You have to admire that, especially against the big Florida shot-blockers.
  
• He's a true point guard -- Farmar has great court vision and has the ability to deliver a pass in perfect position for teammates to score. Witness the heady dish to Luc Richard Mbah a Moute at the end of the Gonzaga game as Exhibit A. He is adept at the drive and kick, and can split double team traps at midcourt. Most importantly he handles the ball like George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven -- always looks cool and calm, never rattled. Look at the difference Luke Walton made when he was inserted into the Lakers lineup. His passing made all the difference in elevating Lamar Odom's and Kwame Brown's games. It's possible that Farmar can have that kind of impact if inserted into the lineup.
  
• He rocked the pre-draft workouts -- Farmar shined at the Orlando pre-draft camp, showing the athleticism that was stifled in Ben Howland's slow down UCLA half-court offense. He even displayed a 42 inch vertical leap... who knew? He's definitely more athletic than people give him credit for, and he's good at mixing speeds, ala Steve Nash, to get to the hoop and shed defenders.
  
• He's not Smush Parker -- Now, you have to like a guy with the balls to go by the name "Smush," but let's face it, he's not the answer at the point. He's a good high energy bench guy, especially defensively, but he's a liability when he disappears in big games. As I stated already, Farmar is unflappable, and would never have pulled the disappearing act in the Phoenix series that Smush did. He just wouldn't have. If his shot wasn't falling, he would have taken it to the rack against the woeful Nash D. Would he have made the ensuing free throws? Well...

WEAKNESSES:

• He's not the best shooter in the world -- His free throw shooting is sometimes suspect, but he seems to hit them when the game is on the line. Truth is he's not a bad shooter, I've seen him get hot and drain 3's with ease. On the flip side, I've also seen him as cold as Vanilla Ice, forcing shots that he has no business taking. It's a crap shoot. He needs to work on his range and be ready to shoot when Kobe and Lamar draw double teams.
  
• He's not the tallest guy in the world -- Phil Jackson likes tall guards who can defend well. Farmar is no Frodo, but he stands just under 6'1" tall. He is an adequate position defender, but isn't rangy and long like other Jackson prototypes. He may have trouble guarding more athletic point guards in the NBA.
  
• He turns the ball over... alot -- For a point guard, he doesn't take care of the ball like he should. He sometimes forces dangerous passes in traffic when the easy pass would suffice. He also needs to work on backing players down to protect the ball when in half-court sets, rather than constantly facing up every defender. I think studying Sam Cassell's game would be a great proxy for the skill set that Farmar needs to adopt.
  
• He's young -- Farmar is 19, and needs to put on weight and muscle. This means he probably won't contribute right away and may be a year away.
  
• He is just not a handsome man -- His ears stick out like Sloth in the Goonies. His hair is just all over the place. The dude is not attractive. But money can do wonders to a persons looks. Pin back the ears and get a decent haircut, and you're looking at the next Jason Kidd. Is that really such a great thing? Well, the next JKidd is still better than the old JFarm.

So, am I jazzed about this pick? Well, at #26, the pickin's were slim, and the Lakers did try to address a glaring need. I'm hoping that Farmar and last year's #1 pick, Andrew Bynum, make some strides over the summer and start to contribute. If so, next year's Laker team has the chance to step up a notch. I'm definitely excited to see what happens.

mitch kupchak is an idiot

From the Los Angeles Times:

Miami won its first title last week, but Kupchak said the Lakers would pull the trigger on the O'Neal trade again.

"We would not do anything different today than we did two years ago regarding the Shaquille O'Neal trade," Kupchak said. "I understand you'd probably like to ask that question, but the response is … we would have made the deal today, the same deal we made two years ago."

I think Mitch meant this to be indicative of his steely resolve and stick to his guns attitude. Instead it just shows everyone what a complete and utter doofus he is. He gave away a Hall of Fame center who led (maybe led is a bit too strong... assisted?) Miami to a championship in 2 years in exchange for Lamar Odom and little else, and Kupchak would do NOTHING different?

Hey ass... how about at least saying, "maybe I would have tried a little harder to get that Dwyane Wade guy in the trade too?" The guy averages 34.7 points per game in the finals and actually probably could have been thrown into the trade with a stronger negotiator, but yet, Kupchak simply says hey, I would do everything exactly the same?

Sigh. I hate you Mitch Kupchak.

a day at the airport

I am currently sitting in United terminal C-26 at Dulles airport in D.C., right next to this one little lady dressed in her blue-striped oxford shirt and navy blue United vest. She's the Boarding Pass Lady. You know, the person who’s job consists of sliding a long piece of paper into a machine which then spits out a tiny remnant for you to shove into your pocket, only to forget all about it until it becomes a crumpled little ball after the next wash? Yup, that’s her.

Rather than simply gathering and mindlessly squeezing boarding passes into their metal repository, she calls out boarding groups with a glorious zeal not seen outside of Scientologists urged to jump off couches during tapings of syndicated daytime talk shows. Some passengers seem slow in their approach to the gate, causing her to scream at them through the overhead microphone to, "hurry up, the flight is leaving!"

A man at the counter, approximately 20 feet away from Boarding Pass Lady, asks a desk clerk whether he is at the right gate. Before the desk clerk can respond, Boarding Pass Lady screams into the overhead microphone, "flight 785 or flight 760?" Met with no response, her pleas become more fervent. “FLIGHT 785 OR 760?!? HELLLLLLO! FLIGHT 785 or 760!?!?!” The man at the counter looks over at her confused, and then quietly says, “760.” Boarding pass lady yells, “C5, not this gate.” She points excitedly towards the opposite end of the building and exclaims “C5! NOT HERE!” The man gives her an awkward stare and begins his walk down the terminal as the desk clerk simply looks defeated. Boarding Pass Lady smiles… another job well done!

I am also sitting next to a man in an orange vest who obviously should be working somewhere else at the airport, but instead has been chatting on his cell phone for the past 25 minutes. Perhaps the fact that United terminal C-26 is the furthest possible area from any place that a man in an orange vest should be is precisely the reason he is here. He glances over at me throughout the call, a little unhappy that I chose his personal phone booth to sit near, despite a rather sparse waiting area (in my defense, the only power outlet for my laptop happens to be in this exact same row of seats).

After concluding his call, he folds his cell phone and shoves it into his pants pocket. He doesn’t, however, make a move to get up. Instead he slowly surveys the scene, and then reclines more deeply in his chair. Another 15 to 20 minutes elapses before he finally lifts himself off his blue chair, and wanders slowly down the terminal.

All of this left me pondering, which is worse? The woman who cares a tad bit too much about a job that really shouldn’t be given so much care? Or the man who cheats the system and works his hardest to ensure that he does absolutely no work at all? Maybe the answer truly is one or the other, but I like to think that there is no good and bad in this game. Whether you are a lady who takes her job much too seriously or a man who doesn’t take his job seriously enough, they both do what they have to do to get themselves through the day. Isn’t that all we can really hope for in the end?

On second thought, that orange vest guy is a complete lazy ass jerk. Fuck him.

can't stop the madness

It's late-March, and you know what that means. That's right, we're knee deep into the NCAA Hoops Tournament!

The first two rounds of the tournament have been filled with so many upsets, they made Crash's victory over Brokeback Mountain look like a sure bet. 6 of these 8 teams are in the Sweet Sixteen. Can you pick out the two that aren't: Bradley, George Mason, Kansas, Wichita State, Gonzaga, Boston College, Indiana, and West Virginia. If you picked two traditional hoops powerhouses -- Kansas and Indiana -- as the odd men out, you too have a case of March Madness.

Everyone and their mom's have their prediction for who will win this weekend, but I have a fail-safe formula to predict this weekend's winners. I haven't seen any college hoops pundits mention this yet, so you heard it here first!

In round one, we had a matchup of Bruins -- 2nd seeded UCLA versus 15th seeded Belmont. In the second round we had two Wildcats going at it -- Villanova versus Arizona. This coming Friday, the Huskies of UConn and Washington will square off. So in order to keep the streak alive, the only other possible matchup of like-minded mascots will pit the Tigers of LSU and Memphis in the Final Four. Crap, that doesn't bode well for my UCLA Bruins, but fate is fate, people. You just can't fight it.

Here's some other random observations on the weekend:

Fattest player with actual basketball talent:
Glen "Big Baby" Davis of LSU. Imagine Dom DeLuise executing a graceful spin-move in the middle of the key for an easy bucket and then eating a jelly donut. This is exactly what it is like to watch "Big Baby" play hoops. That nickname has to go though. You're not going to scare anyone with a name like that. I suggest "Fat Thunder" -- please pass it on.



Tourney player who most resembles TV's Urkel:
Mustafa Shakur of the University of Arizona (thanks to NBAdraft.net)



Worst facial hair:

Adam Morrison of Gonzaga. This isn't just for the NCAA tournament. This is the all-time worst facial hair ever. Yes, even worse than that wispy little moustache you had in your junior high yearbook photo.



Best team mascot:

The Wichita State Shockers. Which is a damn good name, but they would have sealed this award hands down if they kept their former team name -- the Wheatshockers. I mean look at their mascot:


Does that not strike fear into the hearts of any would-be opponent? Um... yeah.

Most Overrated Conference:
The Big Ten. Thanks for showing up boys. Oh wait, you didn't. Better luck next year.

Most Underrated Conference:
You could make a case for the Pac-10 here -- their teams were maligned all season long as weak, only to have UCLA and Washington in the Sweet Sixteen, with Zona giving #1 seed Villanova all it could handle on Sunday -- but I'm going to have to go with the Missouri Valley Conference. It was widely believed that the four bids given to the conference were a bit like nominating "It's So Hard Out Here for a Pimp" for an Academy Award. It would make for some interesting moments, but come on, there's no chance it could actually win. Well, as Three-6 Mafia proved on Oscar night, sometimes the unthinkable happens. Wichita State and Bradley are both in the Sweet Sixteen, playa. I guess it just got a little easier out here for a pimp.

Best Names:
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute of UCLA and Pops Mensah-Bonzu of George Washington. Look, I know they're no Lucious Pusey, but then again, who is?

links of the day

Today's links of the day are of the sporting variety. But even those who don't watch sports will still enjoy. Don't believe me? Check it out...

Best College Hoops Prank Ever - Those Cal fans are good. Why didn't we think of this first?

Most Unfortunate Sports Name Ever - This one was sent to me by my friend Matt. I thought he made it up at first, but check it out on ESPN.com, Yahoo! Sports, or CBS Sportsline. Poor kid.

More to come...

when rock stars turn to sorcery

This is Eddie Van Halen. Yes, THAT Eddie Van Halen -- former rock idol and the guy who bagged former One Day at a Time teen hottie, Valerie Bertinelli. Now apparently Eddie is well qualified to play the Wicked Witch of the West if anyone wanted to remake the Wizard of Oz. Again, time is not kind, people.

ringing in the new year... finally

Well, this is my first blog of the new year, and a whole heck of a lot has happened since I've been away. For instance:

• I turned the big Three-Oh - Yes, that's right, I'm officially a 30-year old. Sadly, I can no longer claim the rights to being a "20-something." Although, let's face it, I've been old and boring for quite a while. 30 really feels no different than say 26, 27, 28 or 29. Birthdays seemed to lose their magic pretty much after I hit my teen years. Once you take away Chuck E. Cheese, can you *really* call it a birthday "party" anymore?
  
  
• Mamba scores 81 - Kobe Bryant (who incidentally nicknamed himself "Mamba" before the season started) dropped 81 points on the Toronto Raptors. He shot his way through double-teams, triple-teams, quadruple-teams, you name it. Some might call it being a ball hog, but let's face it, all of the other Laker players were colder than Gary Coleman's career. The Lakers were down by 18 well into the 3rd quarter, so in my book, Kobe was well within his rights to start shooting the lights out. I don't think I'll ever see a performance like that again. Well, of course until next week, when Mamba throws down 97.
  
  
• R.I.P. to UPN and The WB - The two networks virtually no one bothers to watch have finally thrown in the towel. That's right, beginning in September both UPN and The WB will disappear into thin air, much like David Copperfield's relationship with Claudia Schiffer. Fret not, Smallville lovers. The two will merge, like Voltron, into a single, more powerful entity known as... um... The CW (the C is for CBS -- the folks who own UPN, and the W is for Warner Bros.). Hey, I'm all for anything that phases out The Parkers and Quintuplets, but The CW? Is that the best they could come up with? I guess the don't teach Originality 101 in TV executives school.
  
  
• The Pussycat Dolls are like a real singing group now - So let me get this straight, a kooky burlesque-inspired stage show that Carmen Electra helped to get off the ground has somehow morphed into a hit-making machine? How is that possible? The closest thing I can equate this to would be Zack, Slater, Screech, and the gang's band, Zack Attack, making it big after Saved By the Bell, and recording a stack of chart-toppers. Only one thing is clear. With song titles like "Don't Cha" and "Stickwitchu," grammar is not job one with the Pussycat Dolls.
  
  
• Janet Jackson bares her breast on national TV! - Um, ok this happened in January of 2004, but still, totally shocking, right?

In any case, I did miss out on quite a bit of news, and that's why I vow to write more regularly from here on out. No really, at least a couple times a week. Well, unless I get lazy again or something. But really what are the chances of that? Hey. Stop laughing.

Until next time!