welcome to the real world

The Real World, Season 473 has kicked off with a new cast set in Denver, Colorado. You know how I know it's in Colorado? Because they tell me so in the opening credits of every single episode. "The Real World. Denver, Colorado." Thanks kids. I thought for sure it was Denver, Mississippi, but nope. I got moded.

Some quick reasons why to watch this show:

• Constant bickering between very conservative and church-going, Steven, and his homosexual roommate Davis: Steven thinks homosexuality is 100% wrong. Davis, well, he is 100% gay. Somehow I don't think the math adds up here. Good luck, guys.
  
• Girl on girl make-out sessions in the Real World hot tub: Within hours of moving into the Denver house, roomies Jenn and Brooke make out (and not in a jokey sort of way, they really go to town). Another roommate, Tyrie, an ex-gangbanger from Omaha, Nebraska (yes, a Nebraska gang-banger) is driven mad by the whole experience, screaming, "Can I get in there? What? You won't let me have some?" As Ron Burgandy might say, stay classy, Denver.
  
• Alex, the object of all of the female castmates' desires: Alex, who seems oddly effeminate in a Lance Bass-two-years-ago kind of way, makes out and sleeps in the same bed as roommate Colie approximately 6 hours after arriving in Denver and then makes out with and has sex with hot tub make-out queen (and former Raiderette cheerleader) Jenn the next night. Even Lance Bass would get props for that.
  
• Weeping, weeping, and more weeping: In a 24-hour span, Jenn befriended and then betryed Colie, leading to a tear-filled apology, culminating in Jenn decreeing that she loved Colie's friendship so much that Colie would be one of her bridesmaids some day. Girls, let's give it, say 48 hours before you start making grandiose claims like that.
  

Keep in mind, this all happened in the first couple episodes. Look, I didn't think much would come from a show set in Denver, but my goodness, you kids exceeded all expectations. Now don't blow it, like the Austin cast did a couple years back.

On the Salinger scale, where a Party of Five is the highest rating, I give the Real World, Denver a solid Charlie, Bailey, Julia, and half a Claud...

3.5 Salingers

The Real World, Denver airs on MTV about 9,000 times each week