See Ya, Trev

The Lakers lost Trevor Ariza, their starting small forward during this past championship season, yet they arguably got better, signing former All-Star Ron Artest in his place. I'm not sold on Artest -- he's a talent for sure, but also a head case. We'll leave that story for another day. My biggest beef is with Ariza. Laker fans are outraged, stating the ball club was too cheap to shell out and keep Ariza around. To these fans I say, check your facts.

Look, I was a big fan of Ariza, given his L.A. roots and UCLA background, but the kid completely misplayed his cards. He was at best the 5th or 6th best player on the Lakers, but for some reason thought he was entitled to a big payday... in the worst recession in the past 50 years... with the salary cap decreasing for the 2009-2010 season.

When the Lakers offered Ariza the full mid-level exception of $5.6 million a year for 5 years, Ariza reacted as if they gave him Lyme disease. His agent thought the offer was a slap in the face and vowed to shop Ariza around the league to get him the payday he deserved. Turns out no one else was willing to pay the kid anything more than the original Lakers offer. And fewer still were willing to give him the 5 years the Lakers offered, an offer that came with the benefits of playing for a team that should be championship caliber throughout the bulk of it.

The ultimate trump card? The Lakers knew Ron Artest wanted to play with Kobe Bryant. Badly. Sure, they felt a kinship to a kid they helped to shape into a valuable NBA contributor, but when Ariza and his agent started making noise about what inconsiderate villains the Lakers were, well, kinship only goes so far. So General Manager Mitch Kupchack picked up his phone and gave Artest a buzz. And not surprisingly, Artest -- a man who needs a championship to validate his star-crossed career -- jumped at the chance to win a ring with the Lakers. In comes Artest. Out goes Ariza.

In the most interesting twist of fate, Ariza ends up signing with the Houston Rockets, the former team of Artest, swapping spots with the man he'll replace. The only problem with this swap is that Ariza will be making the exact same money but playing for a team that is going nowhere. So instead of holding a handful of championship rings, the move will likely lead to Ariza being exposed as an overpaid, offensively limited player. Not the ending I think he had in mind for himself when he started playing hardball.

Here's to you Trevor Ariza. Thanks for helping us win the NBA championship. I wish you luck with your Rockets career, but I can't help but think you'll live to regret this when you separate emotion from fact. And that agent of yours that helped you into this mess? He'll be fine. He gets his share of your contract, no matter how happy you are with the end result. At least someone's a winner in all this.

Worst Recession Discount Ever

I got this email from Ticketmaster yesterday:



Sadly, I missed out on saving an extra 5% to something I have no interest in at all because I didn't check my email fast enough. Oh no! How can I live with myself knowing that I could have saved a couple bucks on tickets I would not even spend a couple cents to buy?

How did I even get on a Sparks mailing list? Because I used Ticketmaster to buy Lakers tickets a few times? If the common ground here is basketball, let me throw this out there: Both NYPD Blue and Cop Rock were TV shows about cops, but the approach and the execution were very, very different. Let's not pretend it's all the same, shall we?

The NBA Mole

Have you ever seen that ABC reality show, The Mole? The basic premise of the show is that a group of strangers are brought together to complete a set of missions in order to win big money. The catch? One of the participants is "the mole" -- someone who's job is to secretly sabotage the group so they do not complete the mission.

The mole must be covert in order to avoid detection while they slowly unravel the group's morale. Sometimes the mole outwardly throws competitions. Other times if enough teammates are doing poorly, the mole can just sit back and watch the team lose without having to get involved. Every so often, in order to throw people off the scent, the mole has to put forth a strong effort, just to make it look like he cares about the team's well being before he goes right back to the sabotage.

After watching the first 5 games of the NBA Finals, I think I've figured out who the mole is on the Lakers. His name? Kobe Bryant. There can be no other explanation. How can a team that decimated their more powerful Western Conference counterparts be down 3-2 to a squad that was taken to the limit by the Atlanta Hawks?

The untrained eye may spot someone like Lamar Odom and think he's the mole. After all, he puts his head down and sloppily charges over people, misses wide open looks at the rim and always misses at least one of his free throws with every trip to the line. But you can see in Lamar's eyes that he could never pull off something as complex as being an NBA Benjamin Arnold. His nervous demeanor would never be able to conceal his treachery.

So could it be newcomer Pau Gasol? He did come late to the Laker party, after a mid-season trade from Memphis, so he might not care as much as everyone else about winning. I did suspect Pau for much of the Finals, given his soft rebounding, porous defense and scraggly beard, but reviewing some of the previous games this season proves that his lack of heart is merely an affliction of his Euro-league training.

Could it be members of the bench mob? Sasha Vujacic, Jordan Farmar, or Ronny Turiaf? Nah, none of those guys plays enough to really be able to determine an entire game. Vlad Radmanovic? Too obvious. Derek Fisher? Come on.

No, the mole has to be Kobe. Why? Well let's examine the reasons:

• After two lopsidedly refereed games in Boston, Kobe knew that all he had to do was drive to the rim every single play in order to go to the line. It worked for Dwayne Wade when the Miami Heat came back from an 0-2 deficit to win the title in 2005. But what does Kobe do? He just stands 18-20 feet away from the basket and shoots fade away jumpshots. Kobe's not throwing his body into the paint like Boston counterpart, Paul Pierce, even though the refs are rewarding offensive aggressiveness.


• On the sidelines, rather than listen to instruction from his coaches, Kobe berates and demeans all of his teammates and then sits away from the huddle during timeouts. Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling was close enough to the bench to hear Kobe's remarks, which he then blogged about for the world to see. As we said, the mole tries to unravel the group's morale. Check.


• During defensive sequences, Kobe freelances much of the time, drifting off his man and just wandering around the court trying to make steals. Many times, this leads to defensive breakdowns since the other players are rotating late while trying to pick up the slack.


• Kobe Bryant is the only one cold-blooded and calculated enough to pull this off. Even during his sexual assault trial, Kobe was so detached from reality that he complained about the quality of the plane the Lakers chartered to bring him to and from his Denver trial.

I'm onto you, Kobe Bryant. I'm not exactly sure why you're sabotaging your own team -- did someone promise you a date with Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Williams, and Vanessa from the Cosby Show to complete your "I Heart Vanessa" collection, but only if you throw the Finals? Who knows?

All I know is you're the mole. I dare you to prove otherwise this week, Mr. Bryant. You have two games left.

meet jordan farmar, your newest los angeles laker...

Yes, another sports post. Sorry to all my sports hatin' peeps -- I'll have something about Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Entourage up here very soon to satisfy your pop culture lovin' sweet tooth.

I just had to comment about the NBA Draft, in particular, my Los Angeles Lakers. Since I'm both a die-hard Laker fan, and a fanatic UCLA Bruin alum, the Jordan Farmar pick at number 26 is especially near and dear to my heart. Honestly, I'm not quite sure where I stand on Farmar -- he is inconsistent but visibly talented. If there's one spot the Lakers need help at, it's the point, so Farmar's not a bad choice here. My quick observations:

STRENGTHS:

• He has a will to win -- While the rest of the Bruins folded faster than 2-7 off-suit in the NCAA Championship game, Farmar stepped up and was fearless driving to the hole. You have to admire that, especially against the big Florida shot-blockers.
  
• He's a true point guard -- Farmar has great court vision and has the ability to deliver a pass in perfect position for teammates to score. Witness the heady dish to Luc Richard Mbah a Moute at the end of the Gonzaga game as Exhibit A. He is adept at the drive and kick, and can split double team traps at midcourt. Most importantly he handles the ball like George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven -- always looks cool and calm, never rattled. Look at the difference Luke Walton made when he was inserted into the Lakers lineup. His passing made all the difference in elevating Lamar Odom's and Kwame Brown's games. It's possible that Farmar can have that kind of impact if inserted into the lineup.
  
• He rocked the pre-draft workouts -- Farmar shined at the Orlando pre-draft camp, showing the athleticism that was stifled in Ben Howland's slow down UCLA half-court offense. He even displayed a 42 inch vertical leap... who knew? He's definitely more athletic than people give him credit for, and he's good at mixing speeds, ala Steve Nash, to get to the hoop and shed defenders.
  
• He's not Smush Parker -- Now, you have to like a guy with the balls to go by the name "Smush," but let's face it, he's not the answer at the point. He's a good high energy bench guy, especially defensively, but he's a liability when he disappears in big games. As I stated already, Farmar is unflappable, and would never have pulled the disappearing act in the Phoenix series that Smush did. He just wouldn't have. If his shot wasn't falling, he would have taken it to the rack against the woeful Nash D. Would he have made the ensuing free throws? Well...

WEAKNESSES:

• He's not the best shooter in the world -- His free throw shooting is sometimes suspect, but he seems to hit them when the game is on the line. Truth is he's not a bad shooter, I've seen him get hot and drain 3's with ease. On the flip side, I've also seen him as cold as Vanilla Ice, forcing shots that he has no business taking. It's a crap shoot. He needs to work on his range and be ready to shoot when Kobe and Lamar draw double teams.
  
• He's not the tallest guy in the world -- Phil Jackson likes tall guards who can defend well. Farmar is no Frodo, but he stands just under 6'1" tall. He is an adequate position defender, but isn't rangy and long like other Jackson prototypes. He may have trouble guarding more athletic point guards in the NBA.
  
• He turns the ball over... alot -- For a point guard, he doesn't take care of the ball like he should. He sometimes forces dangerous passes in traffic when the easy pass would suffice. He also needs to work on backing players down to protect the ball when in half-court sets, rather than constantly facing up every defender. I think studying Sam Cassell's game would be a great proxy for the skill set that Farmar needs to adopt.
  
• He's young -- Farmar is 19, and needs to put on weight and muscle. This means he probably won't contribute right away and may be a year away.
  
• He is just not a handsome man -- His ears stick out like Sloth in the Goonies. His hair is just all over the place. The dude is not attractive. But money can do wonders to a persons looks. Pin back the ears and get a decent haircut, and you're looking at the next Jason Kidd. Is that really such a great thing? Well, the next JKidd is still better than the old JFarm.

So, am I jazzed about this pick? Well, at #26, the pickin's were slim, and the Lakers did try to address a glaring need. I'm hoping that Farmar and last year's #1 pick, Andrew Bynum, make some strides over the summer and start to contribute. If so, next year's Laker team has the chance to step up a notch. I'm definitely excited to see what happens.

mitch kupchak is an idiot

From the Los Angeles Times:

Miami won its first title last week, but Kupchak said the Lakers would pull the trigger on the O'Neal trade again.

"We would not do anything different today than we did two years ago regarding the Shaquille O'Neal trade," Kupchak said. "I understand you'd probably like to ask that question, but the response is … we would have made the deal today, the same deal we made two years ago."

I think Mitch meant this to be indicative of his steely resolve and stick to his guns attitude. Instead it just shows everyone what a complete and utter doofus he is. He gave away a Hall of Fame center who led (maybe led is a bit too strong... assisted?) Miami to a championship in 2 years in exchange for Lamar Odom and little else, and Kupchak would do NOTHING different?

Hey ass... how about at least saying, "maybe I would have tried a little harder to get that Dwyane Wade guy in the trade too?" The guy averages 34.7 points per game in the finals and actually probably could have been thrown into the trade with a stronger negotiator, but yet, Kupchak simply says hey, I would do everything exactly the same?

Sigh. I hate you Mitch Kupchak.