tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77931362024-03-13T20:21:18.149-04:00dubbledubsall the stuff in my head that leaked onto the web...warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.comBlogger156125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-41290828051733181462012-04-26T20:54:00.001-04:002012-04-26T20:54:13.534-04:00Boto DolphinsLook, kids. They're still ugly, ugly, ugly. Sorry to break it to you.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-74282357580296982612010-05-11T16:26:00.005-04:002010-05-11T16:55:02.431-04:00Man, it's been a whileSo I've been immensely lax in updating this blog. Two reasons for this:<br /><br />1) Global warming<br />2) The worldwide economic crisis<br /><br />Now that both are well under control, I'm back!<br /><br />What should we talk about? Well, how about this:<br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Lost</span> is down to the final 3 episodes, and they've weeded out some of the last remaining minority characters on the show (you can add Sayid, Jin, and Sun to the list of the non-white departed). Hey Hugo, maybe you better watch your back.</li><li>I saw Jessica Alba while in line for brunch. Yes, that's right. The Dark Angel herself. And yes, that's right. I eat brunch. Initial thoughts - quite tiny in person, but still lovely even with minimal makeup while wearing a hoodie and jeans. Also steals 10 person tables that were to be given to people (ahem, ahem) waiting long before she arrived.</li><li>Kobe Bryant took <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.latimesmagazine.com/2010/05/kobe-white-hot.html">these photos</a> willingly.</li><li>Angel <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2010/05/david-boreanazs-wife-still-angry-still-mad--still-hurt/1">is a cheater</a>! Poor Buffy.<br /></li><li>Betty White <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/147989/saturday-night-live-betty-white">killed it on SNL</a>.</li><li>So did <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://music-mix.ew.com/2010/05/10/jay-z-saturday-night-live/">Jay-Z</a> (kicking off a medley with Public Service Announcement and ending with Empire State of Mind? Genius).</li><li>Oh, I also had ACL reconstruction surgery since we last saw each other. My advice? I don't care what all the cool kids are telling you. Do not tear your ACL.</li><li>Puppies are still awesome.</li><li>Kate and Jon Gosselin are still not.</li></ul>Until next time!warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-3337395599047912112009-07-27T17:21:00.005-04:002009-07-27T17:30:16.961-04:00Blasphemy on Yahoo! IM<img style="width: 191px; height: 170px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19Y47CQOsYMnlgVkVTV96rPqvroD-kgJbpfg503RxqFcFcmF2TboE5b2xwsduJSQ1Pt7jZ_83RMLaAGx6QPSGoFZS89-BMo-A8BRv-I6gbYJhmDs6DggVA6zBHXZfiDmSQCsh/s320/405vinnie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363253370825407682" border="0" /><br /><br />My friend Matt is a terrible person for reasons too numerous to list in one posting, but this really takes the cake:<br /><blockquote><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:14<br />someone needs to rein joe morgan in<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:14<br />is he worse than tim mccarver?<br />mccarver is the one i really hate<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:15<br />yeah<br />every broadcaster sucks<br />there are few that are good<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:16<br />except vin scully<br />even chick was questionable esp at the end<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:16<br />sorry, I never liked vin scully<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:17<br />WTF<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:17<br />his voice bugs the sh*t out of me<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:17<br />you go to hell right now<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:17<br />ha<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:17<br />seriously<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:17<br />can't stand him<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:17<br />you must die<br />and go straight to hell<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:17<br />I watch dodger games on captioning<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Me</span><br />5:17<br />that is unacceptable<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Matt</span><br />5:17<br />it's just his voice<br />OBNOXIOUS</blockquote><br />Seriously, people. What kind of world are we living in? I thought this was a civilized world filled with rational human beings. I guess I was wrong.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-45985625843678375862009-07-16T12:19:00.004-04:002009-07-16T12:31:34.468-04:00Kudos, Judy Chu<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXZ2QPi4J77S75rDoQMOyyQ-jTy75-Fons3E9406nbN9Sdz0ucLgL17PuX8XopUVJ7s4jfNicG-lke8Mir9M7UgIQcTclW0mPQ6wOKE_1VTahFW58k-NAdxdqBLlP9nhvrWzgF/s320/judychu.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359096300314741554" /><br /><br />In one of my <a href="http://dubbledubs.blogspot.com/2009/05/random-thoughts.html">Random Thoughts</a> rants a couple weeks ago, I posted this:<br /><blockquote>In my hometown of Monterey Park, CA, some of the officials running for city office used to send pot holders in the mail to each resident with their names printed on them. I guess the hope was that we'd remember their names by using them often. My sister was baking something the last time I was home, and promptly burned her hand using this flimsy pot holder. I said, come on, if you were dumb enough to trust Judy Chu to protect your hands, you deserve to get burned. So, Judy Chu, if you wanted us to remember your name, mission accomplished! However, just know that we associate it with crappiness.</blockquote><br />Apparently, no one else associates the name Judy Chu with crappiness, since she's just become the first Chinese-American woman elected to Congress. From the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-judy-chu16-2009jul16,0,2984735.story">Los Angeles Times</a>:<br /><blockquote>The San Gabriel Valley Democrat, who will represent the 32nd District, adds the victory to a 24-year political career. She won with nearly 62% of the vote and the support of local political leaders.</blockquote><br />So my apologies to Judy Chu, who like me is a fellow Bruin alumnus and former Monterey Park resident. We will cherish your flimsy pot holder for all eternity as you represent a zillion Chinese folks in DC.*<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:78%;" >*Actual Chinese population may be slightly under a zillion in the San Gabriel Valley. It only seems that way.</span>warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-76790937779334104722009-07-03T13:19:00.001-04:002009-07-03T18:35:34.567-04:00See Ya, Trev<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio-nOU7dprz1RffA9kjXNwV0OnWJi1VBDKf_R0RRoyHGgqxWsjNTF5gvEVd_RuJIf8BbQkDvmJRneyI_PRMaSXZcZ2uC2H7GiUH9W6BZlz1m2dV6J5tQpTYANHO5b16W6OWiET/s320/trevor_ariza.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354284775171694530" /><br /><br />The Lakers lost Trevor Ariza, their starting small forward during this past championship season, yet they arguably got better, signing former All-Star Ron Artest in his place. I'm not sold on Artest -- he's a talent for sure, but also a head case. We'll leave that story for another day. My biggest beef is with Ariza. Laker fans are outraged, stating the ball club was too cheap to shell out and keep Ariza around. To these fans I say, check your facts.<br /><br />Look, I was a big fan of Ariza, given his L.A. roots and UCLA background, but the kid completely misplayed his cards. He was at best the 5th or 6th best player on the Lakers, but for some reason thought he was entitled to a big payday... in the worst recession in the past 50 years... with the salary cap decreasing for the 2009-2010 season.<br /><br />When the Lakers offered Ariza the full mid-level exception of $5.6 million a year for 5 years, Ariza reacted as if they gave him Lyme disease. His agent thought the offer was a slap in the face and vowed to shop Ariza around the league to get him the payday he deserved. Turns out no one else was willing to pay the kid anything more than the original Lakers offer. And fewer still were willing to give him the 5 years the Lakers offered, an offer that came with the benefits of playing for a team that should be championship caliber throughout the bulk of it.<br /><br />The ultimate trump card? The Lakers knew Ron Artest wanted to play with Kobe Bryant. Badly. Sure, they felt a kinship to a kid they helped to shape into a valuable NBA contributor, but when Ariza and his agent started making noise about what inconsiderate villains the Lakers were, well, kinship only goes so far. So General Manager Mitch Kupchack picked up his phone and gave Artest a buzz. And not surprisingly, Artest -- a man who needs a championship to validate his star-crossed career -- jumped at the chance to win a ring with the Lakers. In comes Artest. Out goes Ariza.<br /><br />In the most interesting twist of fate, Ariza ends up signing with the Houston Rockets, the former team of Artest, swapping spots with the man he'll replace. The only problem with this swap is that Ariza will be making the exact same money but playing for a team that is going nowhere. So instead of holding a handful of championship rings, the move will likely lead to Ariza being exposed as an overpaid, offensively limited player. Not the ending I think he had in mind for himself when he started playing hardball.<br /><br />Here's to you Trevor Ariza. Thanks for helping us win the NBA championship. I wish you luck with your Rockets career, but I can't help but think you'll live to regret this when you separate emotion from fact. And that agent of yours that helped you into this mess? He'll be fine. He gets his share of your contract, no matter how happy you are with the end result. At least someone's a winner in all this.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-56690799996045129522009-06-23T15:38:00.014-04:002009-06-23T16:01:38.981-04:00Teaching in the Big Apple<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW_h4D_i1DFGspVKgQXTmvXEhLo2k3xatGOTZ9UH59XE2dKBs8WI8iFM72BVsY7QC-GjpjJAendJQ_WQK7nZHISAYwYv-GupCX0Q0KgVGbkI6VTc-myezJHbE3qO0G1OMDFSO2/s320/school_kids.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350612947891559410" /><br /><br />From the AP via <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090622/ap_on_re_us/us_rubber_rooms">Yahoo! News</a>:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight:bold;">700 NYC Teachers are Paid to do Nothing<br /></span>By KAREN MATTHEWS, Associated Press Writer<br /><br />NEW YORK – Hundreds of New York City public school teachers accused of offenses ranging from insubordination to sexual misconduct are being paid their full salaries to sit around all day playing Scrabble, surfing the Internet or just staring at the wall, if that's what they want to do. Because their union contract makes it extremely difficult to fire them, the teachers have been banished by the school system to its "rubber rooms" — off-campus office space where they wait months, even years, for their disciplinary hearings.<br /><br />The 700 or so teachers can practice yoga, work on their novels, paint portraits of their colleagues — pretty much anything but school work. They have summer vacation just like their classroom colleagues and enjoy weekends and holidays through the school year.<br /><br />Because the teachers collect their full salaries of $70,000 or more, the city Department of Education estimates the practice costs the taxpayers $65 million a year. The department blames union rules.<br /><br />"It is extremely difficult to fire a tenured teacher because of the protections afforded to them in their contract," spokeswoman Ann Forte said.</blockquote><br />So let that be a lesson to all my not-so-hard working friends out there (um... you know why you are). If you want to hang out and still get paid, just teach for 3 years in NYC (that's the minimum length of time needed to acquire tenured status), then start verbally assaulting your students. You'll be in the rubber room in no time! Man, who needs a fat corporate banking severance package when you can exploit this little loophole for all it's worth?<br /><br />The best quote from the article? Probably this one:<br /><blockquote>"Most people in that room are depressed," said Jennifer Saunders, a high school teacher who was in a reassignment center from 2005 to 2008. Saunders said she was charged with petty infractions in an effort to get rid of her: "I was charged with having a student sit in my class with a hat on, singing."</blockquote><br />Singing in class? Ok, that's reasonable. But with a hat on? My god. What kind of monsters are our school systems creating? Let's give this teacher a paid vacation... that'll show 'em.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-33319097262741500742009-06-10T11:56:00.006-04:002009-06-10T12:20:56.183-04:00Don't Hide Money in Your Old Sh*t!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ__TKT23b53Xt8nDqW8K5hCcIzmh9JZ1rXW2k3BFEQpgdT-Jk-_7AjCh2bGtxfZlhKxQ3r89N1E-VKz4WL9NECjVxVP83NBzM9PyneamOLNzbMJ52slIG5w2N74gVKzXHmoeQ/s1600-h/mattresses-main_Full.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ__TKT23b53Xt8nDqW8K5hCcIzmh9JZ1rXW2k3BFEQpgdT-Jk-_7AjCh2bGtxfZlhKxQ3r89N1E-VKz4WL9NECjVxVP83NBzM9PyneamOLNzbMJ52slIG5w2N74gVKzXHmoeQ/s320/mattresses-main_Full.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345733538625961682" border="0" /></a><br />From <a href="http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=90999813630&h=0ZFZN&u=kKxNo&ref=nf">Yahoo! News</a>:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">Israeli woman mistakenly junks $1 million mattress</span><br />By IAN DEITCH<br /><br />JERUSALEM – An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress she said had almost $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites on Wednesday.<br /><br />The woman told The Associated Press that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise present on Monday — and threw out the old one.<br /><br />The next day, she said, she remembered that she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. "I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened," said the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified.</blockquote><br />Oddly enough, this happened to my Dad a couple years ago, who for some unknown reason used to hide money in an old sport coat. The amount was nowhere near the earnings of a modest Israeli woman living with her mom (really, that's what single women living with their parents in Israel can amass these days? I'm definitely living in the wrong damn place).<br /><br />My mom was doing some spring cleaning and of course she ran across some hideous 70's-style coats in my Dad's closet and decided to donate them to charity. When my Dad realized it, he freaked out, and my Mom went back to Goodwill to dig through piles and piles of clothes in search for the golden sport coat. Think it's hard to find a mattress in a dump? Try finding one article of clothing in a room filled with clothes donated over a series of months. Needless to say, she turned up empty.<br /><br />The moral of the story? Buy old 70's sports coats from Goodwill and always choose matresses from the dumps of Israel. In this economy, it's probably your best bet.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-63653251572556258892009-06-05T19:26:00.001-04:002009-06-07T12:55:34.275-04:00Random Thoughts<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhog60cL8imfxwlMJHRJeDsd4hTp0AsiqGKK4D2SUaSv3gBUix22aQvaicfrSF4IlxQzoCeJB2_S7w0WzlFhHMi-rmE02p0IiuFGMGiSJ4_kzud5SODjBYALFlW46ik84Z8u0kE/s320/yao-artest+hug-logo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343889506807708466" border="0" /><br /><br />Some more random things that you probably have zero interest in:<div><ul><li>While watching the NBA Finals last night (<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Go Lakers!</span>), I noticed that GM ran an ad about how although they were bankrupt, they still have awesome plans in the works. Hey, wait a minute, GM. Let me repeat, you're bankrupt. This is even with a extra couple billion dollars in your pockets after the big bailout. And somehow, after being terrible enough to burn through all of this cash, you are spending big dollars running an ad campaign about how awesome your plans are? And people wonder what's wrong with the automotive industry in the U.S.<br /></li><li>Dwight Howard has the broadest shoulders in the history of humanity. This is a scientifically proven fact<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">*</span><br /></li><li>When did they stop making regular shorts? All I ever see these days are either plaid shorts, or regular colored shorts with 50 cargo pockets sewed onto them. Can't I just get a regular solid colored pair of shorts sans ancillary pocketage? Why is this not an option anymore?</li><li>And on that note, how come I can't buy multi-colored striped knee high socks to wear with aforementioned shorts?<br /></li><li>In my hometown of Monterey Park, CA, some of the officials running for city office used to send pot holders in the mail to each resident with their names printed on them. I guess the hope was that we'd remember their names by using them often. My sister was baking something the last time I was home, and promptly burned her hand using this flimsy pot holder. I said, come on, if you were dumb enough to trust Judy Chu to protect your hands, you deserve to get burned. So, Judy Chu, if you wanted us to remember your name, mission accomplished! However, just know that we associate it with crappiness.<br /></li><li>Wi-fi on Virgin America is the best idea since live TV on airplanes. Flying is now just like being in my living room, only with more neon lights and a very, very tiny couch.<br /></li><li>Science has shown that skinny jeans have proven to be an indicator of mental retardation in males.<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">*</span></li><li>This is a <a href="http://www.blazeoflove.com/2009/05/another-7-nba-logos-youll-likely-never.html">fun article</a>.</li><li>I like dogs.<br /></li></ul><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-size:78%;">* Keep in mind that "science" is defined in this blog as "stuff that seems true to me with utter disregard for fact"</span><br /></div><div><br /></div>warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-3429528011251254552009-04-30T20:16:00.005-04:002009-04-30T20:39:40.037-04:00Feeling oh so swine<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8W31QBN9GM1E2u_5L0TqDETTmo_1kzuho1h44PwMnY2_-I7y0eOL-z5YeYzR4hJeD2Kk4OAtXdnV7rnh_ed50AFZIRv1mlqZywPpSIrNDsjCJ3F85gkgZln2AlQPrLVyF-RFO/s320/pigs_at_pennywell_S.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Swine flu. It's all I hear about these days. On the news, on the web, even on everyone's Facebook and Twitter statuses. I can't escape it. And I'm sure it's no laughing matter, but isn't this whole thing a bit overblown? I looked up the average data on yearly flu related deaths on the CDC website and found the following:<br /><br /><blockquote>Every year in the United States, on average: 5% to 20% of the population gets the flu; more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu-related complications; and about 36,000 people die from flu-related causes.</blockquote><br />Here's the current stats on the swine flu: 109 reported cases, 1 death. Any sort of death is lamentable, but in the grand scheme of things, this strain of flu seems no worse than any other strain of flu that we encounter each and every year. Again from the CDC:<br /><br /><blockquote>The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of regular human flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue... Like seasonal flu, swine flu in humans can vary in severity from mild to severe.</blockquote><br />But yet, the Mexican Football Federation says all pro soccer games in Mexico this weekend will be played without fans in an effort to slow the spread of swine flu and high school and college games have been cancelled altogether to curb the spread of swine flu. Why don't we do the same to curb the spread of the regular flu if it's just as, or even more deadly? Am I completely underreacting to this? Is underreacting even a word?<br /><br />Someone please enlighten me if I should be running out and buying a mask tonight. Until then, I'll just react to this the way I've reacted to the bird flu. Wake me up when it's over.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-40756094049373184502009-04-10T16:04:00.003-04:002009-04-10T16:49:56.766-04:00Worst Recession Discount EverI got this email from Ticketmaster yesterday:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixA77FTk0_teaPU6ERVrq1XPhgH_yvX0ZqmhpJpcPFDZ-akMTwrhYIbJRQJ8cAgLFtGz3P8Mzu8ob4px-YoPYEB2D5m88I4PtOwXMmMGJcYhznYCcPuleCPTMgdt_b8K5gJJW5/s400/sparks.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323156883906288322" /><br /><br />Sadly, I missed out on saving an extra 5% to something I have no interest in at all because I didn't check my email fast enough. Oh no! How can I live with myself knowing that I could have saved a couple bucks on tickets I would not even spend a couple cents to buy?<br /><br />How did I even get on a Sparks mailing list? Because I used Ticketmaster to buy Lakers tickets a few times? If the common ground here is basketball, let me throw this out there: Both <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nypd_blue">NYPD Blue</a></span> and <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cop_Rock">Cop Rock</a></span> were TV shows about cops, but the approach and the execution were very, very different. Let's not pretend it's all the same, shall we?warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-42766166697856120522009-04-07T19:04:00.003-04:002009-04-07T19:09:16.379-04:00Set It and Forget It<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdQoDpvY3cfSbwj07WRYpE19BcZIVPKB6RY9AjP1N60qUqkIqt6-oWvsTlcVbyiN6TPGr5sESxhDuvPD1Geh921e8dL90vC5Imfw70SSsA_ZUc2NxjiWukbcmqGl2Tz0W4RFK/s320/showtime_rotisserie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322090055119910130" border="0" /><br /><br />Behold. The madness that is the Showtime Rotisserie Grill. For some reason this thing was a crazy hit seller about 10 years back. The only question, why?<br /><br />Because in reality, you're paying about $200 for this tool, which still doesn't actually do anything, until you:<br /><ol><li>Buy a raw chicken</li><li>Clean it</li><li>Prep it</li><li>Place the raw chicken in the Showtime Grill</li><li>Set it</li><li>Forget it</li><li>Wait 1 hour</li><li>Pull flaming hot rotisserie chicken out of grill</li><li>Take flaming hot rotisserie chicken off the flaming hot chicken holding unit</li><li>Put flaming hot rotisserie chicken on plate</li><li>Eat rotisserie chicken</li><li>Go back in the kitchen and clean grill</li></ol>OR, you could just do the following:<br /><ol><li>Go to grocery store</li><li>Buy rotisserie chicken</li><li>Eat rotisserie chicken</li></ol>All for about $2 more than buying a raw chicken. Um, is this really a difficult decision? You'd have to cook about 100 chickens for the grill to break even on the cost vs. buying the fully cooked chicken, not to mention the 50 other ridiculous steps needed.<br /><br />Showtime Rotisserie Grill owners... you all fail.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">*Special thanks to Jenn for making me think about this lame product this afternoon.</span>warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-74538819436868210942009-02-12T18:40:00.002-05:002009-02-12T18:48:44.901-05:00A Valentine's Day Card For You...Thought it would be nice to have a Valentine's Day card that my readers could download and share with their loved ones. Enjoy everyone! And, have a very happy Valentine's Day!<br /><br /><img src="http://www.geocities.com/geowarren/valentine1.gif" /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.geocities.com/geowarren/valentine2.gif" />warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-15373835899106706192009-02-11T18:25:00.005-05:002009-02-11T18:33:50.689-05:00Random Thoughts<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij76INTU6ce_rG-tDEbZ2Ci0sTfS4rLNkkdVo9VRgYIC3H2lmbkNZg3I3Jk-24IpcP9RZ8cipbLTFnf5u-5VzzTs8TkBYEptRk2rjEkN8FYlkbdjIoL-gEmNGopy8VcmLrZb4I/s320/rescue_faq.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301685738427450610" /><br /><br />Some random thoughts on a Wednesday evening...<br /><ul><br /><li>Why is good mexican food so hard to find in NYC? It really doesn't seem that hard to make. Spices, meat, tortillas... am I missing something here? Note to all taco truck operators in California -- if you move to NYC there's an absolute KILLING to be made here. Seriously.<br /><li>Do not buy 2-in-1 stain and polyurethane. It way too hard to control the depth of color and amount of sheen this way. Definitely buy them separately. It's a little bit more work, but you'll thank me in the long run.<br /><li>Whoever created the 25 things about me phenomenon on Facebook, kudos to you! Even I'm surprised at what a phenomenon it's become. Although, I highly doubt it was just some individual user somewhere in the world that started this. I'm sure Facebook slyly perpetuated the chain letter to make people aware of the Facebook Notes feature, and show an example of why you'd want to tag people in a Note. Well played, Zuckerberg.<br /><li>If you can't trust Chris Brown, who can you trust? Next thing you'll tell me is that Kobe Bryant isn't as nice as he seems.<br /><li><span style="font-style:italic;">Lost</span> has me completely lost.<br /><li>I've pretty much given up on <span style="font-style:italic;">Heroes</span>, but I hear rumors that it's actually watchable again... true?<br /><li>For some reason I'm actually excited about the <span style="font-style:italic;">G.I. Joe</span> movie. Yo Joe!<br /><li>I do not feel the same way about the <span style="font-style:italic;">Watchmen</span> movie though.<br /><li>Watchamals are too cool. Too cool!<br /><li>Did you know that guitars can dehydrate and start to collapse and crack? I learned this the hard way. Proper humidity is key, guitar owners of the world.<br /><li>If I was in Hawaii and a magical talking sea turtle swam up to me and told me a bad joke that really wasn't that funny, I'd still pretend to laugh. Just FYI.<br /><li>Yes, I'm blogging again after a 3 month hiatus. Why? Well, I never really meant to stop. The real world just got the better of me. So I'm back, people. I'm sure none of you really care. But I care. So there. Nyeah.<br /></ul>warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-75035179649493028822009-02-10T11:55:00.002-05:002009-02-10T11:58:57.623-05:00Chris Brown. And Black. And Blue.<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwS9hw0N2iB_J2zY0gEJ5ilxyEH4p6x48GEPBgCFSo-FqC_kPEf04Vn23CCDa8a29sy0LbZkMfpivhmeY7hQ4qOP_u_Tpwn11fxsFGuKuEUz-yOZbZB3_3Dnf3OzihEst05QoB/s320/wrigley2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301213548989508610" /><br /><br />As you've probably heard by now, singer Chris Brown has been accused of assaulting his girlfriend and fellow superstar, Rihanna this past weekend. Pretty big allegations that could land Brown in the slammer for 9 solid years.<br /><br />The thing I wonder the most is this... was Ne-Yo licking his chops when he heard the news? Not that he wasn't sad for Rihanna, because domestic violence is a terrible, terrible thing. But in a small way, don't you think a little part of him was jumping for joy because he knows he gets to move up a rung on the R&B/Soul ladder?<br /><br />I always felt like his fame got derailed by the emergence of Brown. They're basically the same dude in terms of type of song and general danciness (probably not a word, but I'm sticking with it). But poor Ne-Yo got brushed aside once Chris Brown hit puberty. Well, not so fast, music fans. There's a new sheriff in town. One that doesn't beat his gal pals (at least not that we know of).warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-9848327197267608262009-02-09T13:47:00.003-05:002009-02-09T13:51:23.514-05:00Best PR of the Year<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNW3iKVOSyrcQkn-xmmZaRktLMOjJ9fPkFu6YbIgrd7Eb1kYLBnOGgYLn3iljETLqexKeGJ7kuNb8uEnRzXiQqCgSH5ZF0u5gWk10ENpwzWPj68OpNfNv02lBfgrzNkLT8BmWX/s400/greatbarrierreef_001p.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300871717528859970" /><br /><br />The best PR move of 2009 so far was pulled off by none other than... the Queensland Tourist and Travel Corporation? Yes indeed, by sponsoring the "<a href="http://www.islandreefjob.com/">Best Job in the World</a>" contest, Australia's most lovable province has bought more attention than any advertising money could have ever provided.<br /><br />For those of you who didn't see the contest, the job consists of living on an island in Australia for 6 months in a million dollar home, swimming in the Great Barrier Reef, soaking in the Australian sun, and blogging about it from time to time. That's it.<br /><br />The site generated tens of millions of views, enough to bring the server crashing down for much of the first couple weeks after the announcement. The promotion also led to tons of radio and TV interviews from stations all around the world. Not bad for the cost of letting one freeloader lounge around on the beach for 6 months.<br /><br />Tourism in general has declined in Australia, so they needed a way to bring people to the island in an innovative way, given limited advertising dollars. Well, kudos, my friends... you did it! Now, if there was only a way I could land this job myself...warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-47578206421941995722009-02-04T18:12:00.005-05:002009-02-04T18:22:18.832-05:00It's Just Miley, Being Miley<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRgp3BHnuSOftiwI9NzmGXdNFyccYniub5c8vse-ZBYIcKwJeFXHQkk1M81rOquP4Hv6u1QcFrQEgzC6F2M8jq3RCxTi8XU-ekHZO9RuwFLYBeLZexIxAlN5uuO5oZkfj0zAKv/s400/0202_miley_cyrus.jpg" border="0" alt="It's Miley!!!"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299084256209526642" /><br /><br />From <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/02/asian-group-not-mad-at-one-of-these-people/">TMZ.com</a><br /><br />Yet more people <a href="http://dubbledubs.blogspot.com/2008/08/they-put-pee-pee-in-your-coke.html">putting pee pee in your coke</a>. Miley Cyrus (she's dead center in the pic, the 16 year-old girl who's sitting on her 20 year-old boyfriend's lap... but that's another issue altogether) is showing us how cool being racist is. OMG! Racism... *hugs*! <br /><br />That one kid next to Miley has really got the look down, by the way. I mean the slant eyes on that kid are dead on. What's that? He is actually asian? Not just looking slant eyed for the sheer mockery of it? Oh. Right. Do you think he even knows what's going on around him in this photo? Actually do any of these kids? They all look pretty blitzed, and again, Miley is only 16 years old, so that's a pretty early age to get oh so wasted.<br /><br />Eh, whatever. Billy Ray probably doesn't care, as long as the checks keep coming in from his little cash cow. Moo.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-91460338755838505022008-10-13T21:19:00.004-04:002008-10-13T21:26:57.757-04:00The Shake Shack<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGvDtu0r9GIPdvOMTRh2xmvmnALadmQs46FiA5XkNzB_ic_-uO-gjApM0o-QvMoeaEorTcmTEnmGi39kwV1cYhqjN5OZIV0hNyTq8WtGRMij01IK-lvE0jZK9PhCySTPN9rsWs/s400/41725847p1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256814257875484962" /><br /><br />Today I had lunch at the Shake Shack, which if you aren't versed in Manhattan eats, is the very hyped, uber crowded outdoor dining joint in Madison Square Park. I've eaten there in the past, but didn't pay close attention at the time. This time around I have a couple tips to pass along, just in case anyone out there is considering a Shake Shack snack.<br /><br />Tip #1 - Get there before Noon. Ideally at 11:30am. Unless, of course, you enjoy waiting for over an hour in line to get a hamburger. Because sometimes that's fun too.<br /><br />Tip #2 - Unless you're a really big fan of "secret sauce" you should probably just get a cheeseburger instead of a Shackburger. Double cheeseburger? $6.50 each. Shackburger? $7.75 each. Both have lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and two burger patties. So essentially you're paying $1.25 for ketchup mixed with mayo.<br /><br />Tip #3 - The Double Stack and Shack Stack burgers are, in theory, amazing. The Double Stack is a cheeseburger topped with a deep fried portabello mushroom which has been stuffed with two kinds of cheese. Yes, you read that correctly. Can't quite picture it? Let me help:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA4L8-hDis2YAghTEU-FxUQ3xHZTcggBnDjTJH-3brnhqUEJ022HEWFed9OydoJeovaNh2n7GpUn9m0SLXaAgcHSwcpNsDbWYe0tKjR5Rr8QqyCXnpjaRkUIxk8cBbUMX3Ce-L/s400/shake-shack.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256814257605568674" /><br /><br />The Shack Stack adds another hamburger patty to the mix, just in case your arteries were a little too free-flowing. The first three bites? The way the cheese explodes out its deep fried mushroom envelope and merges with the hamburger patty and bun below? Heavenly. Unfortunately, as you keep chomping, the grease and oil start to build up, like a cholesterol-fueled Voltron, as the flavorful mix begins a civil war with your stomach. My suggestion? Split this baby with someone else if you're going to try it.<br /><br />In the grand scheme of NYC burgers, I'm not on board with Shake Shack as my favorite. Burger Joint in the Parker Meridien is my #1 in NYC, with good ol' In N' Out still my all-time fav. Care to disagree? I'm all ears.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-350871075175262832008-08-11T19:58:00.005-04:002008-08-11T20:22:03.091-04:00They put pee pee in your CokeFrom <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/aug/10/olympics2008.olympicsbasketball">The Guardian</a> in the UK:<br /><br /><blockquote>Spain's Basketball Federation has published a good luck advert for their men's team, the world champions, in which they stand pulling at the sides of their eyes in a slit-eyed gesture.<br /><br />There is no obvious intention to upset their Olympic hosts in Beijing, but the irresponsible picture is likely to cause controversy and could be interpreted so as to lead to accusations of racism.<br /><br />Spanish sport has been mired in rows over racism in the last few years. In November 2004 black English footballers were subjected to relentless racial barracking from home supporters in a match in Spain. Before the World Cup there were calls for Luis Aragones, then Spain's football coach, to be sacked after he called Thierry Henry a "black shit". And last year Lewis Hamilton suffered racist abuse during testing for the Spanish grand prix near Barcelona.</blockquote><br />The photo in question appears below:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjGKv09ltvFT7PEACpkQcwyXXUqGnvMhwD4pTh7mH2HQ0d0Y49SrvH5Q4-YcQHX7GcFaK7nts8GQqYHX2myhfvpKhmooT9U4AZ8S0l5m93qVgONjRHYWvQ6TSf8zcjFMjEmp7/s400/spanishbasketballteam.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Terrible right? And the worst part? Some of them are pulling their eyes downwards. Hello? That's JAPANESE. You're making fun of Chinese people, you idiots. Our eyes are slanted upwards. If you're going to be racist, do it right.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-27930820132779589712008-06-28T17:56:00.003-04:002008-12-10T02:30:55.368-05:00Photo of the WeekFrom the NBA draft, former Stanford player and newly minted Phoenix Sun, Robin Lopez, tries on his new team hat:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBnJGgiCJZ45-Fg3iEJwlJOtzlHHFGl8-tUb2Bu5-xgij6WkdTLHC9rh8wX5-KFOK4VFW1MNQfpDEcGA7ATEzZmzL-wUly0q4t5gc-qasjoQMODhyphenhyphenztsIpbAuUBKjHYK0D1r2r/s400/page2_a_lopez1_sq_300.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Hmmm, so this explains why Sideshow Bob never wears hats on <span style="font-style:italic;">The Simpsons</span>.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-47000205370841398472008-06-28T16:23:00.003-04:002008-12-10T02:30:55.538-05:00From Predator to Capitol Hill<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicQZQCZ9x-d5-xqi0e5gl1V9Bug8JCxKbQo_2fEuqiNsdOYRwo6l9rTHpbQs2zMIotHyc2IrAVSmDIfvUNh6zObcUuW6vuRVMYfwgwcpzYUlPGP34pKTkl_wfOopI0o4ym3_sJ/s200/predator.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />From my friend <a href="http://www.dukeya.com" target="new">Duke</a>:<br /><br /><blockquote>The entire cast of <span style="font-style:italic;">Predator</span> will be leading our nation!<br /><br /><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080625/ap_on_re_us/actor_senate_bid;_ylt=Anmp.pGCGE.nHPJsbiOWlW9H2ocA">Former tough-guy actor sets sights on US Senate</a><br /><br />What should Carl Weathers and Bill Duke run for?</blockquote><br /><br />He's right. First Jesse "The Body" Ventura is elected governor of Minnesota, then Arnold Schwarzenegger follows suit as governor of California, now little-known Sonny Landham is making a run for the Senate.<br /><br />All I know is one thing... the cast of <span style="font-style:italic;">Alien</span> really needs to step it up. That's right. I'm calling you out Sigourney Weaver. Yes we can!warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-21056367701176609062008-06-19T01:31:00.002-04:002008-12-10T02:30:55.719-05:00Happy (Belated) Father's Day<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpjSunepDj9TjYG8wRQqcUxiACJDm-0IrqcFbdfrVV7et32CtQB8c02KbIg9xjdUYL4gwSvciplqyEBAfptofi7ThC4iUSWAWZRETGX7SF4Z5gY5BX48BMpx9qonPqBGPz2pHa/s320/021205_1809_0004_lsls_op_398x600.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Since I wrote <a href="http://dubbledubs.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-honor-of-mothers-day-i-figured-i.html" target="new">an entry about my mom</a> on Mother's Day, I figured it's only fair to honor dear old dad for Father's Day. Sorry to my pops for getting around to this entry a little bit late, but as a Laker fan, he can certainly understand why I was a bit preoccupied earlier this week. Dad, we choked. And yes, Pau is soft.<br /><br />In any case, of the many traits that my dad has passed along to my sister and me, one of the habits that we try the hardest to shake is our packrat mentality. My dad is the ultimate packrat. A small sampling of his madness:<br /><ul><li>He has kept nearly every pair of shoes he and I have ever worn. You know, in case I need those Air Flight II's with the hole in the sole.<br /><li>He will not allow us to throw away broken electronics, hence our garage is filled with old clock radios, handheld radios, bulky walkmans, cassette decks, cheesy 80's stereo systems, and an 8-track player. If that kid from Hereos comes over and touches everything to fix it, we'll be set with radios for about 9 lifetimes.<br /><li>He has numerous screws, bolts, nuts, and washers from various projects begun since the advent of his time in the U.S. This collection encompasses about 400 jars and boxes labeled and displayed in the garage.</ul><br />And the strange packrat syndrome isn't limited to the house. No, it extends outside as well. Like what? Well, I don't think a mere description does this justice. Let's take a little tour of our backyard, shall we?<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0132.jpg" border="0" /><br />This is just a small sampling of the various basketballs I have had over the years. There are about 3 or 4 more in the garage itself. Look at that one on the top left:<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0133.jpg" border="0" /><br />Yes, it actually has no cover. That is a completely bald basketball. I'm glad my dad is holding onto it for safekeeping.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0136.jpg" border="0" /><br />Someone gave me this cuckoo clock when I was around 8 years old. It now resides in this tool shed that my dad built. But that's not all that's in the shed...<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0137.jpg" border="0" /><br />Hey look, it's my old blacklight-ready <span style="font-style:italic;">Twilight Zone</span> poster. Looks great framing the chainsaw and Easy-Off, doesn't it?<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0138.jpg" border="0" /><br />And ok, maybe my dad wants to display his golf button. I mean, he does love golf with all his heart. But why the need to display the pink plastic Happy Birthday sign? I think that came from some flowers I sent my mom about 4 years ago.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0147.jpg" border="0" /><br />You know how sometimes you buy souvenirs on a trip and you have no idea what to do with them? Well, I bought a conch shell when we went on a family trip to the Caribbean about 12 years ago. When I brought it home, I really had no idea where to display it. But apparently my dad did. In a random corner of the garden. Sitting upright on a wooden post. Gorgeous!<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0142.jpg" border="0" /><br />Of course I saved the best for last. You see that thing in the bushes over there? No? Wait, let me get closer...<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0143.jpg" border="0" /><br />Do you see it now? It's right there. Still no? Ok, let me take one more step...<br /><br /><img src="http://www.mrmuggles.com/images/IMG_0145.jpg" border="0" /><br />What is that, you might ask? It's a green dinosaur that my sister made in pottery class back in high school. Now it sits at the base of this little bush. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.<br /><br />So there you go. Grand tour over. Did you enjoy yourself? I know I did. I actually don't mind the packratting so much. It's somewhat interesting to see where the things you owned back in the 8th grade are going to end up next. And my dad is one of the most organized people I've ever met. Although he keeps virtually everything, he can tell you exactly where any of it is should you ever need it. Will I ever need the free giveaway Quentin Richardson poster from that random Clippers game I attended in 1999? Who knows. But if I ever do, I know who to call.<br /><br />Happy Father's Day, Dad!warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-53816996704871679422008-06-16T22:11:00.014-04:002008-12-10T02:30:55.898-05:00The NBA Mole<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDGSjvVA8NFSYGnotHLx1JJZIYx6s1XMOt6wo6iOE9QbYzEgbdgXHPLRqLG8cUG33-xIG3RUGsKRKh9SpbFPwrfIB1oe1ryQ0jqw7_MeLg7JN28_YbVSZsSd50tJ-nEcIeuIlc/s200/mole-logo.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Have you ever seen that ABC reality show, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Mole</span>? The basic premise of the show is that a group of strangers are brought together to complete a set of missions in order to win big money. The catch? One of the participants is "the mole" -- someone who's job is to secretly sabotage the group so they do not complete the mission.<br /><br />The mole must be covert in order to avoid detection while they slowly unravel the group's morale. Sometimes the mole outwardly throws competitions. Other times if enough teammates are doing poorly, the mole can just sit back and watch the team lose without having to get involved. Every so often, in order to throw people off the scent, the mole has to put forth a strong effort, just to make it look like he cares about the team's well being before he goes right back to the sabotage.<br /><br />After watching the first 5 games of the NBA Finals, I think I've figured out who the mole is on the Lakers. His name? Kobe Bryant. There can be no other explanation. How can a team that decimated their more powerful Western Conference counterparts be down 3-2 to a squad that was taken to the limit by the Atlanta Hawks?<br /><br />The untrained eye may spot someone like Lamar Odom and think he's the mole. After all, he puts his head down and sloppily charges over people, misses wide open looks at the rim and always misses at least one of his free throws with every trip to the line. But you can see in Lamar's eyes that he could never pull off something as complex as being an NBA Benjamin Arnold. His nervous demeanor would never be able to conceal his treachery.<br /><br />So could it be newcomer Pau Gasol? He did come late to the Laker party, after a mid-season trade from Memphis, so he might not care as much as everyone else about winning. I did suspect Pau for much of the Finals, given his soft rebounding, porous defense and scraggly beard, but reviewing some of the previous games this season proves that his lack of heart is merely an affliction of his Euro-league training.<br /><br />Could it be members of the bench mob? Sasha Vujacic, Jordan Farmar, or Ronny Turiaf? Nah, none of those guys plays enough to really be able to determine an entire game. Vlad Radmanovic? Too obvious. Derek Fisher? Come on.<br /><br />No, the mole has to be Kobe. Why? Well let's examine the reasons:<br /><ul><li>After two lopsidedly refereed games in Boston, Kobe knew that all he had to do was drive to the rim every single play in order to go to the line. It worked for Dwayne Wade when the Miami Heat came back from an 0-2 deficit to win the title in 2005. But what does Kobe do? He just stands 18-20 feet away from the basket and shoots fade away jumpshots. Kobe's not throwing his body into the paint like Boston counterpart, Paul Pierce, even though the refs are rewarding offensive aggressiveness.</li><br /><li>On the sidelines, rather than listen to instruction from his coaches, Kobe berates and demeans all of his teammates and then sits away from the huddle during timeouts. Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling was close enough to the bench to hear Kobe's remarks, which he then <a href="http://38pitches.com/2008/06/09/manny-jd-papi-lester-and-the-nba-finals/" target="new">blogged about</a> for the world to see. As we said, the mole tries to unravel the group's morale. Check.</li><br /><li>During defensive sequences, Kobe freelances much of the time, drifting off his man and just wandering around the court trying to make steals. Many times, this leads to defensive breakdowns since the other players are rotating late while trying to pick up the slack.</li><br /><li>Kobe Bryant is the only one cold-blooded and calculated enough to pull this off. Even during his sexual assault trial, Kobe was so detached from reality that he complained about the quality of the plane the Lakers chartered to bring him to and from his Denver trial.</ul><br />I'm onto you, Kobe Bryant. I'm not exactly sure why you're sabotaging your own team -- did someone promise you a date with Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Williams, and Vanessa from the Cosby Show to complete your "I Heart Vanessa" collection, but only if you throw the Finals? Who knows?<br /><br />All I know is you're the mole. I dare you to prove otherwise this week, Mr. Bryant. You have two games left.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-20394508813675347152008-06-13T15:24:00.008-04:002008-12-10T02:30:56.173-05:00A Sporting Reason<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj3NJhyphenhyphenafeBLfmarT1vi6AvNCQJbA2cTClPW1qYXMnKVqO4sfbeMoqeFQfQg7UHQl9tLacpMZ-WQFrB4tzo2nGcmrglg-T2Aa1eiGDu016bgjtWcO0M10D6rkx-_K9Y-SotAIk/s200/infocus17_627_070613.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />I am a sports fanatic. Anyone who knows me knows this. From the Lakers to the 49ers to UCLA athletics, I will go out of my way to catch a game involving my favorite teams. At the same time, I know quite a number of people who don't know the first thing about sports. And at first glance, I used to look at them with disdain. Really, you don't follow sports at all? What's wrong with you? But upon further analysis, I think maybe they're onto something.<br /><br />When it really comes down to it, I can love the Lakers with all my heart, but do the Lakers really care about me? Likely not. And in the grand scheme of things, does my cheering from my living room in NYC really have a bearing on the outcome of the game? No. Doesn't make much sense, does it?<br /><br />Jerry Seinfeld once made a joke that when someone's on your favorite team you cheer for them, but once they leave, you boo them. You're really not cheering for anyone in particular. Basically you're just rooting for laundry. And when distilled in those terms, sports seem like a silly exercise.<br /><br />If all of this is true, what is the point of sports? When rooting for laundry brings about heartache after a big loss, does sports really mean anything? I argue that it does. What exactly? Well let's start with community. Sports bring people together.<br /><br />A NYC construction worker and a Fortune 500 CEO in their midtown office may have absolutely nothing in common on the surface. But get either of them going on the topic of the Yankees, and suddenly their worlds become much more relatable. Following the stats of men dressing in matching uniforms becomes a daily ritual. As much as talking about the world at large, sports become a springboard that propels a conversation.<br /><br />Sports also serve as a non-verbal tie. Strangers wearing the same team colors can give each other a knowing nod as they walk by each other on the street. It's almost like being in a gang, only without the need to shoot other people and be jumped in. Well, unless you're a Raiders fan.<br /><br />What else does sports bring us? How about a proxy for life in general? Grandiose claim, you say? Hear me out. Sports teach us at a young age about competition and teamwork. In order to strive for the big prize, you have to work hard and keep focus. And even then, it's really difficult to succeed unless you can also be a great team player. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and sports teach us about how to maximize our own strengths and exploit the weaknesses of opponents. Is any of this so different than understanding what it takes to succeed in the workplace?<br /><br />Sports also teach us that even the best talent can lose and lose badly. David can outduel Goliath. For every New York Giants team beating the previously undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, there's a real world corollary. Think Michael Ovitz joining Michael Eisner at Disney only to see the stock sink to record lows while tiny Pixar comes out of nowhere to create box office magic. You never know what the outcome is going to be until you play the game.<br /><br />In order to truly feel both the wins and the losses, one needs to become fully invested. That's why the heartbreak of losing a 24-point lead in the NBA Finals can reach far beyond the players on a team. The sheer amount of investment in the team is like owning stock in a company. Winning can pay dividends (in the form of smack talk and team pride) and the longer you hold on through the lean years, the larger the reward when victory is achieved.<br /><br />In the end, I'm not sure that any of this fully encompasses why sports mean much of anything. But I like to believe it does. If not, I've been wasting a hell of a lot of time following a bunch of laundry.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-60151088219666487182008-06-07T19:25:00.006-04:002008-12-10T02:30:56.851-05:00Big Brown not as disappointing as his team<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwLq_bQpOsWXkXg_vq1aR01wUuNAFCGL8VpEtINFNqzd4oo6N5ySiz0vIUWtm2It1dmX5JGqM9ZlT462LVQEYLJv6Mx0yTpwD-VxworGrPM5M9_PagfNuwyGeKCUQnN-Dpd-Io/s200/0,,6072901,00.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />I'm not a fan of horse racing. Let's just get that out of the way to start. I actually think it's pretty strange that we care if one random horse can run faster than other random horses. Does the horse itself really care either way? Probably not. But all of the hype surrounding the final leg of the Triple Crown, and the fact that the Belmont Stakes is run here in New York, led me to watch today's race.<br /><br />For those of you who are not versed in horse racing, a quick primer. There are 3 major races every year -- the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes. A horse that wins all three races in one year is considered a Triple Crown winner. The last time a horse has pulled off the feat? 30 years ago in 1978 with Affirmed. So any time a horse wins the first two races, expectations are high coming into the third and final race.<br /><br />This year, a horse named Big Brown won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness without much trouble, and thus was a huge favorite to win the Belmont Stakes today. How huge? He was a 1-4 favorite, meaning that if you put up $100, you'd only stand to win $25 if Big Brown won.<br /><br />Well, guess what happened? Big Brown lost. And not only did he lose, but he lost badly. He finished dead last. Over 120,000 people came out to watch this race, with about $6 million dollars alone being bet just on Big Brown to win. Needless to say, a huge disappointment.<br /><br />In ABC's coverage, story after story was created to add drama to the event. However, rather than making me like the Big Brown contingent, I ended up wanting to root against them. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the horse himself. He seems like a nice enough equine. No, my dislike is for all of the people surrounding Big Brown.<br /><br />For instance:<br /><ul><li>Jockey, Kent Desormeaux, had a story about his son, Jacob, who was born with a rare condition called Usher Syndrome. This disease leaves sufferers with hearing loss and vision loss. The sad tale was supposed to be hopeful because if Desormeaux's son loses his vision he'd always have the visual of Big Brown winning the Triple Crown to get him through the tough times. I did feel bad for his son, but the story was done so poorly it evoked little emotion and just seemed like it was exploiting Jacob's disease to make the otherwise cantankerous jockey look more sentimental. At the end of the story, they showed Kent watching, likely to get a teary-eyed visual, but he really didn't look all that emotional about it. When asked about the story, Kent made odd comments, something along the lines of God giving his son this disease so that the spotlight can shine on their family in times like this. And when asked if he would be thinking of Jacob as he rides, he said he definitely would not -- once his legs were over the horse, nothing else matters but the race. I'm sure he didn't mean these words to come out so callously, but it didn't help me feel good about Big Brown's jockey</li><br /><li>It was clearly stated that Big Brown was given steroids by his trainer regularly as part of his training program. This means that Big Brown was juiced for the first two races which he won going away. While it's not exactly illegal in horse racing to use steroids (for what reason I don't know), not all horses use it, so the ones that do draw a suspicious eye. In order to deflect any criticism, trainer Rick Dutrow decided not to inject Big Brown leading into the Belmont Stakes. Were steroids the reason Big Brown was so good in the first two races and so terrible in the third? Hmmm...</li><br /><li>Speaking of trainer Rick Dutrow, they showed a story about his personal life, where he talked about how he was a hard living guy who loved gambling, expensive women, and drugs. It was set up as a heart-warming tale of how was able to dig himself out of his excesses and train a Triple Crown contender. However it came off really strangely. Dutrow detailed how the mother of his child, a former beauty queen in Jamaica who had a terrible crack habit, was murdered by a crack dealer. Dutrow seemed to have little to no emotion about the event. Even worse, they talked about how he then took his daughter, Molly, to live in a horse barn up through age 3 because they couldn't afford any other place to live. Then at age 3, he sent Molly away to live with her grandmother because he couldn't take care of her. Classy statement of the day? Dutrow laughs and says, look I still live a hard life, do you really think I can take care of Molly? I can barely take care of myself! And then oddly the story closes with a note that Molly is now living with him "for better or worse" (yes, the voiceover actually said that). Heartwarming! Dutrow closes the story with a brash guarantee that Big Brown would win. Oops.</li></ul><br />All in all, the day was highly anti-climatic, and ABC's coverage was pretty horrid. Perhaps I'll watch another race one day when another Triple Crown hopeful comes to light, but I'll definitely steer clear of the pre-race schlock that comes along with it.warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7793136.post-65669828039142156952008-05-27T08:21:00.009-04:002008-12-10T02:30:58.221-05:00Sarcasm is Lost on Today's Youth<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRxfVeRw8Q6xXVXkcZF9H7AzE-1xeKtdXBZ_0LDRo5NB3XpuwziApleIHUALxVL0jNSZwno7wtUSsVHz3Uu2J4YSQrFZccgfzmmRmUPvtJeZp5TRIVDYT2UhAcylTI8u3Ve3t3/s400/fn-87787-boto-riv-dolph-brazil_339.jpg"><br /><br />A while back, I wrote a blog entry about <a href="http://dubbledubs.blogspot.com/2007/03/red-pandas-suck.html" target="new">red pandas</a> at a zoo in Sydney. The gist of the entry was a sarcastic comment that red pandas were not as cute as the better known black and white giant pandas.<br /><br />A couple weeks later, I followed this entry up with one about <a href="http://dubbledubs.blogspot.com/2007/04/boto-dolphins-suck.html" target="new">boto dolphins</a> which I had seen on the Discovery Channel documentary show <span style="font-style:italic;">Planet Earth</span>. Again, I made a comparison between boto dolphins and their more commonly known ocean counterparts, the bottlenose dolphin.<br /><br />Little did I know there would be a public outcry for my random musings. A sampling:<br /><br /><blockquote>Anonymous said...<br /><br />You know what? You suck, and you are an ugly, warped example of a human. I would prefer your mom anyday!<br />- January 19, 2008 11:13 AM <br /><br />Anonymous said...<br /><br />that is mean God made them the way they are for a reason! and i think they ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />- April 04, 2008 10:20 PM <br /><br />Anonymous said...<br /><br />I agree with anonymas!!!!!!!! That is tottaly mean! I am doing a report on these animals, and they are amazing! you should care!<br />- April 22, 2008 10:23 PM <br /><br />Anonymous said...<br /><br />Well SOMEONE is RETARDED here. You just wasted space on your blog writing this piece of meaningless crap. I only found this when I googled 'Boto Dolphins' for my project on how endangered they are. Maybe they are endangered because biased, bloody blockheads like you kill them because they're ugly. I don't give a crap about how ugly they are, and no one really does. "Oh, EW! BOTO DOLPHINS SUCK!!!!" That's how you sound, you bloody piece of crap. Go jump off a cliff.<br />- May 25, 2008 6:04 PM </blockquote><br /><br />Wow, there's some major love out there for the boto dolphin. I checked my logs, and there were actually quite a number of hits for this entry, all coming from Google Images. I did a search for "boto dolphin" myself and saw that my page was somehow the number one image listing for this term (oddly enough with a picture of a bottlenose dolphin rather than a boto dolphin).<br /><br />I guess there are a number of teachers assigning homework about the boto dolphin, and thus a number of kids looking for information about them. I think that's great. I really I do. But I also think today's youth are very lame. Not only do they not understand the simple concept of sarcasm, but look at them:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8Old8Ow-MHSZJxFsHXN158Y3eeOro6Oja1Bm6fXez6tL6Yyjx3eQczgSOSNxMhgZNHNZ-cuaEYW71txo6-Q2mW2HMpfEESd0kk8ftGr2O4CQgrGLThfS5CsnDKb7edvTOHKN/s320/CrazyMeanBaby.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiibAGvYOWAY1TnJHZji8oljYsCwU0EDo1KXBC_QG143y951KYm0kSswfA5fbD_1DT-StSUjMh9kUgI18Bq7lJ93PcE56neqASC5v8QP8d5PA0aah4NGD1Big2VzzGs6yj6VlEE/s320/misfitskids.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqdBNiWK4SNnn2lrHXJ7eLQKMA99AU8CdYPSYAvvClBjeoGUaV4R9lzYmbCeWMo7sBdiBgBvonKVO3EPmQiHw_Q78GzQ5dJpvnK0vkZ42Jxz4uDjCxX16UHLvOcuVSfFt6nnWF/s320/sparent_boyfriendkids.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Ugh, Really? Is that the kind of youth we have in this day and age? What happened to the kids of days gone by who could understand fun and games, like these guys:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtOdX_RObRx-swR2tDSDDK6RU_ZSC7-Xu-HiM4NNijCeQnCXS9_31MK9_pW4IeSQMiLvHscAArdH16666YF4npC9lHuZL5v3erirQLclfqXE107vtGI7v8FTlto09pmDwhs8CM/s320/connectfour.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Or the kids who really understood how to hang tough despite the odds:<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj8rlAQkV85gmoN6OAA_d2MUIf9LuFUh2HRm9FWfOswyVdbaOOffiZXiScazFyDRLFpYc-DOi0SJowQvsTbEBqacn7zEiL5Y86y4uuCKKP_9ica5egL4N-1ZOta9NE70Xb7kL-/s320/693px-NKOTB.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />That's what I'm talking about. Sorry lame kids of today who can't spell but insist on leaving comments on my blog. The kids of yesteryear rule!warrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13279981060550272379noreply@blogger.com2