blowing out the candles...

Here's a list of some other people who were born on January 19th, and what these people's lives say about me:

• Robert Palmer, pop singer -- I'm simply irresistible.


• Dolly Parton, country singer, actress -- If I continue to work 9 to 5, I will be well endowed for the future.


• Jodie Sweetin, Stephanie on TV sitcom Full House -- I will be long forgotten and spit on by children and adults alike.


• Desi Arnaz Jr., singer (if you can call it that), actor (if you can call it that) -- I will take Marcia Brady to the prom.


• Edgar Allen Poe, author -- I shall quoteth the Raven, in this case Baltimore Raven, Ray Lewis. Ok here goes... "Nevermore bitch! Not in this house!"


• Shawn Wayans, actor, DJ SW-1 -- I will ride my more entertaining family members to a life of undeserved riches.


• Ottis "O.J." Anderson, NFL running back -- I will murder two people, run away in a Bronco, and then play golf and hang out, all the while pretending to look for the real killer. Oh... wrong O.J. My bad.

My special "birthday" horoscope says:

Happy Birthday: You have everything under control, but that doesn't mean you won't stretch yourself to the limit this year. You can make it much easier on yourself by controlling how much you spend and how much you promise others. Keep things on a small scale and you will end up with a lot more. This is a great year for you as long as you are thrifty, cautious and very precise in your dealings. -- Birthday Baby: You are dedicated and will always make sure that everyone around you is taken care of. You are a loyal friend, and you have strong convictions. You will never back down from anything or anyone.

Which is dead-on... unless this one seems a bit more accurate:

There is no point feeling guilty about the things you have already done. There is even less point feeling guilty about the things you have not done. The first day of the rest of your life starts here and now, so draw a line under the past and think only of the future. According to your birthday chart, you have many great things to look forward to.

Or perhaps this is what my future holds...

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (January 19). This year, you find out you are loved by many. All you have to do is create opportunities for people to show you. Letting down your guard helps! You're showered in gifts through the winter, but in the spring, you're more concerned about giving and teaching others. Investments pay handsomely in April. Love signs are Cancer and Pisces. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 43, 29, 21 and 14.

Eh, they're all loads of crap anyhow.