Big Brown not as disappointing as his team

I'm not a fan of horse racing. Let's just get that out of the way to start. I actually think it's pretty strange that we care if one random horse can run faster than other random horses. Does the horse itself really care either way? Probably not. But all of the hype surrounding the final leg of the Triple Crown, and the fact that the Belmont Stakes is run here in New York, led me to watch today's race.

For those of you who are not versed in horse racing, a quick primer. There are 3 major races every year -- the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes. A horse that wins all three races in one year is considered a Triple Crown winner. The last time a horse has pulled off the feat? 30 years ago in 1978 with Affirmed. So any time a horse wins the first two races, expectations are high coming into the third and final race.

This year, a horse named Big Brown won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness without much trouble, and thus was a huge favorite to win the Belmont Stakes today. How huge? He was a 1-4 favorite, meaning that if you put up $100, you'd only stand to win $25 if Big Brown won.

Well, guess what happened? Big Brown lost. And not only did he lose, but he lost badly. He finished dead last. Over 120,000 people came out to watch this race, with about $6 million dollars alone being bet just on Big Brown to win. Needless to say, a huge disappointment.

In ABC's coverage, story after story was created to add drama to the event. However, rather than making me like the Big Brown contingent, I ended up wanting to root against them. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the horse himself. He seems like a nice enough equine. No, my dislike is for all of the people surrounding Big Brown.

For instance:

• Jockey, Kent Desormeaux, had a story about his son, Jacob, who was born with a rare condition called Usher Syndrome. This disease leaves sufferers with hearing loss and vision loss. The sad tale was supposed to be hopeful because if Desormeaux's son loses his vision he'd always have the visual of Big Brown winning the Triple Crown to get him through the tough times. I did feel bad for his son, but the story was done so poorly it evoked little emotion and just seemed like it was exploiting Jacob's disease to make the otherwise cantankerous jockey look more sentimental. At the end of the story, they showed Kent watching, likely to get a teary-eyed visual, but he really didn't look all that emotional about it. When asked about the story, Kent made odd comments, something along the lines of God giving his son this disease so that the spotlight can shine on their family in times like this. And when asked if he would be thinking of Jacob as he rides, he said he definitely would not -- once his legs were over the horse, nothing else matters but the race. I'm sure he didn't mean these words to come out so callously, but it didn't help me feel good about Big Brown's jockey


• It was clearly stated that Big Brown was given steroids by his trainer regularly as part of his training program. This means that Big Brown was juiced for the first two races which he won going away. While it's not exactly illegal in horse racing to use steroids (for what reason I don't know), not all horses use it, so the ones that do draw a suspicious eye. In order to deflect any criticism, trainer Rick Dutrow decided not to inject Big Brown leading into the Belmont Stakes. Were steroids the reason Big Brown was so good in the first two races and so terrible in the third? Hmmm...


• Speaking of trainer Rick Dutrow, they showed a story about his personal life, where he talked about how he was a hard living guy who loved gambling, expensive women, and drugs. It was set up as a heart-warming tale of how was able to dig himself out of his excesses and train a Triple Crown contender. However it came off really strangely. Dutrow detailed how the mother of his child, a former beauty queen in Jamaica who had a terrible crack habit, was murdered by a crack dealer. Dutrow seemed to have little to no emotion about the event. Even worse, they talked about how he then took his daughter, Molly, to live in a horse barn up through age 3 because they couldn't afford any other place to live. Then at age 3, he sent Molly away to live with her grandmother because he couldn't take care of her. Classy statement of the day? Dutrow laughs and says, look I still live a hard life, do you really think I can take care of Molly? I can barely take care of myself! And then oddly the story closes with a note that Molly is now living with him "for better or worse" (yes, the voiceover actually said that). Heartwarming! Dutrow closes the story with a brash guarantee that Big Brown would win. Oops.

All in all, the day was highly anti-climatic, and ABC's coverage was pretty horrid. Perhaps I'll watch another race one day when another Triple Crown hopeful comes to light, but I'll definitely steer clear of the pre-race schlock that comes along with it.

Sarcasm is Lost on Today's Youth

A while back, I wrote a blog entry about red pandas at a zoo in Sydney. The gist of the entry was a sarcastic comment that red pandas were not as cute as the better known black and white giant pandas.

A couple weeks later, I followed this entry up with one about boto dolphins which I had seen on the Discovery Channel documentary show Planet Earth. Again, I made a comparison between boto dolphins and their more commonly known ocean counterparts, the bottlenose dolphin.

Little did I know there would be a public outcry for my random musings. A sampling:

Anonymous said...

You know what? You suck, and you are an ugly, warped example of a human. I would prefer your mom anyday!
- January 19, 2008 11:13 AM

Anonymous said...

that is mean God made them the way they are for a reason! and i think they ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- April 04, 2008 10:20 PM

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymas!!!!!!!! That is tottaly mean! I am doing a report on these animals, and they are amazing! you should care!
- April 22, 2008 10:23 PM

Anonymous said...

Well SOMEONE is RETARDED here. You just wasted space on your blog writing this piece of meaningless crap. I only found this when I googled 'Boto Dolphins' for my project on how endangered they are. Maybe they are endangered because biased, bloody blockheads like you kill them because they're ugly. I don't give a crap about how ugly they are, and no one really does. "Oh, EW! BOTO DOLPHINS SUCK!!!!" That's how you sound, you bloody piece of crap. Go jump off a cliff.
- May 25, 2008 6:04 PM

Wow, there's some major love out there for the boto dolphin. I checked my logs, and there were actually quite a number of hits for this entry, all coming from Google Images. I did a search for "boto dolphin" myself and saw that my page was somehow the number one image listing for this term (oddly enough with a picture of a bottlenose dolphin rather than a boto dolphin).

I guess there are a number of teachers assigning homework about the boto dolphin, and thus a number of kids looking for information about them. I think that's great. I really I do. But I also think today's youth are very lame. Not only do they not understand the simple concept of sarcasm, but look at them:





Ugh, Really? Is that the kind of youth we have in this day and age? What happened to the kids of days gone by who could understand fun and games, like these guys:



Or the kids who really understood how to hang tough despite the odds:



That's what I'm talking about. Sorry lame kids of today who can't spell but insist on leaving comments on my blog. The kids of yesteryear rule!

Graffiti Spoilers

I was wandering through Greenwich Village when I spotted the following:


It made me laugh that someone took the time to deface public property in this manner. But more importantly, it made me realize that there must be a whole world of graffiti spoilers out there. Graffiti that reveals a plot twist or secret ending for the world to see. I am taking it upon myself to collect them all, and to do this, I created www.graffitispoilers.com.

Please keep an eye out and help me on my quest. If you happen to see a graffiti spoiler of your own, whip out your cell phone cameras and send them my way, won't you? I'd appreciate it!

Time to Face Facts

Why must you poke me on Facebook? What does that even mean? Do you like me? Do you hate me? If so, just tell me. I'm not even sure how to respond to a poke. So just stop it.

In fact, I'm not sure how to respond to the Facebook phenomenon. Everyone thinks it's so cool to amass all of these friends. Why? I don't care how many friends you have. In fact, I'm not even really your friend, person I worked with for two months who I once had a conversation about bagels with. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that you have a Bigger Brain than me and that you loved the movie Iron Man, but do I need a news alert to keep me informed about what you wrote on your friend Mindy's wall? Probably not. And Mindy's way out of your league by the way. Waaaay out.

I think all of these Facebook apps have really gone overboard as well. There's now an app for everything. For my favorite music. For Scrabble. For scribbling on my page. Even for SuperPoking. I don't even like regular poking. Please don't bring your enhanced cyberfinger this way, ok?

The one thing I do know about Facebook is that it can't last. We've seen this story before, haven't we? From Yahoo! Groups, to Friendster, to MySpace, to Facebook, something else will always come along. You know why? Because you're not cool. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're really not. I mean you're great and people think you're awesome in your own unique way, but you're not cool the way kids these days perceive coolness.

Therein lies the problem. Kids want to congregate where all the cool kids are. But cool kids don't hang out in places where their parents and teachers have set up pages and profiles. They want to be free to poke each other in geriatric free environments. And more power to them. I wouldn't want to set up my "I hate Ms. Andrews" teacher bashing page in the same space that hosts photos of Ms. Andrews drunk in Vegas, as tagged by Mr. Dinkins, the P.E. teacher. Well, actually that would be sweet. But promiscuous teachers like Ms. Andrews are few and far between.

No, instead what you have will be teachers who set up fake profiles in the same network as their students, using them to snoop around and read their private thoughts. This has already happened in a well documented case at the prestigious Horace Mann School in New York City. It's only a matter of time before Horace Mann becomes Bel Air Prep becomes Regular Old School U.S.A. and kids move on to the next thing, taking the it factor with them.

So enjoy your pokes while you can, people. Because by this time in a couple of years, you'll be snarking people on PeopleChain or whatever the cool kids choose to call home. It's just the natural thing to do.

Mother's Day Thoughts...

In honor of Mother's Day, I figured I should write a little something about my mom. But let's face it, I'm not good with sappy sentiments. So instead, let's celebrate another brush with my mom and technology. A couple years ago, I documented my mom's exciting experience with On-Star in her new car.

If you click on the link, you'll also see my dad's first (and only) attempt at e-mail. Now my mom's definitely more computer savvy than my dad, but she's also a bit e-mail challenged. Her e-mail Achilles heel? She's an over-forwarder. You know. The people who like to forward things like this:

• A list of fun trivia my mom bet I didn't know (like did you know that "stewardesses" is the longest word you can type with just your left hand, and "lollipop" is the longest word you can type with only your right? Well, you do now, thanks to my mom)
• A PowerPoint presentation of the Beijing Olympic venues (not any actual people or events, just the venues themselves -- yes, photos of buildings)
• A picture of some guy on top of the World Trade Center as a plane swoops in behind him. Yes, the one people sent around back in 2001. And yes, it's still a hoax and still in poor taste -- yet still surprisingly forwardable amongst older Chinese women
• A laundry list of the benefits of drinking green tea. For instance, it fights cancer, prevents Alzheimer's disease, slows aging, is tasty, makes bones stronger, and prevents the flu. I don't think any of this has actually been proven. Except, of course, the line about it being tasty
• A montage of Guinness World Record holders, like some dude with crazy long fingernails, and some lady with a really long neck
• A 22 photo slide show of a kitten and parakeet living together in perfect harmony. Just like this, only 22 times longer:
  

I think the interesting thing about all this is that I've learned a little more about my mom. I now have more insight into the things that she finds amusing and interesting. And sure, I've learned that it encompasses strange facts about typing words with your right hand, freak show Guinness Record holders, green tea, and parakeets and kittens living in harmony. But I'm still glad she's given me a glimpse into this part of her online world.

Good for you mom. Embrace technology with open arms! Happy Mother's Day!

Somebunny Loves Me...

Aww... this explains a lot. Or actually not much at all:



If I'm Laura Bush, I am not standing for this floppy-eared homewrecking. Hey W... less bunny hugging, more Osama hunting please.

Sound Advice

I was watching MTV last night, and saw the following commercial:



Yes, it's Nehemiah and Johanna from the Real World: Austin counseling America's youth on career information. That would be great, if only either of the two actually had a career of their own. Instead, they are just doing Real World/Road Rules Challenges and otherwise hanging out and capitalizing on what little they have left of their 15 minutes of fame. Ah, the epitome of the MTV role model.

Marathon Sessions

One of the things that I love about Bravo, MTV, and VH1 are that they allow you to catch up on their shows by running a marathon of past episodes prior to airing a finale. It definitely helps to build an audience for the finale that may not otherwise tune in. It also allows viewers who have never seen one episode of a certain show to get hooked on a lazy weekend afternoon.

The one thing I hate about these marathons -- during the commercial breaks, they always show a teaser for the finale. I assume this is to let users know what day and time to tune in, but for folks who haven't seen the episodes leading up to the finale, these commercials are total spoilers. Hey look, it's the two finalists for Top Chef. Yay! But I'm only on episode 4, and now you've just ruined every other episode for me. Boo.

Can't these channels put a modified promo during marathons that just say "you're watching the marathon for America's Best Dance Crew, tune in for the finale on Thursday?" It would keep people happily watching the marathon AND get the date and time of the final episode in their minds. Seriously. Is this too much to ask?

An Idol Question

I was watching the results show of American Idol this evening -- yes, I somehow got sucked into watching this show again this season. The thing that struck me today is that the bottom three contestants, ie. the ones that received the fewest votes, get to sing their song again before one of them is sent home.

I guess this has always been the case but for some reason I never noticed until today how utterly ridiculous this is. These are admittedly the absolute WORST three performances from the night before, so why would the producers of the show force us to listen to them again? Wouldn't it be better to keep viewers' interest by showcasing the three best renditions instead? This just doesn't make sense to me.

Ah yes, I know why I never really thought about this before. I hardly ever watched the results show, since it stretches out something that should take 2 seconds into one full hour. I'll just go back to my old habit of just tuning in next week and figuring out who's missing. Or maybe I'll just stop watching this ridiculous show. Um, yeah.

Random Thoughts, Canadian Edition

Some random Canadian thoughts for the day as I am sitting on a plane headed back to New York from Vancouver:

• Whistler/Blackcomb is a nice resort for snowboarding. Just a nice variety of terrain for all levels. Although $84 bucks a day is damn steep, especially since the dollar is so weak. Sigh. Stupid U.S. dollar.
• And just to illustrate how weak our dollar is now, I bought lunch from Burger King in Vancouver airport which ended up being $3.84. I whipped out 4 U.S. dollars, handed it to the cashier, and got just one lame Canadian penny back. Ouch.
• I just finished watching No Country for Old Men on my trusty laptop. Can someone please explain to me what the hell the last 30 minutes of that movie were all about? If you looked up anti-climatic in the dictionary, I think a DVD of this movie would be sitting right there, slapping you in the face.
• Why are planes the only place where the bathroom is referred to as a lavatory? No one ever refers to the bathroom as a lavatory outside of this setting, do they? I just find it strange. It would be like if people just started calling a telephone a snog simply because they were using it on a boat.
• In any case, in aforementioned lavatory, I saw this sticker on the toilet (and don't worry, my hands were clean when I snapped this shot, honest):
  
  
  
  Ok, so I'm not supposed to throw cups, bottles, or handkerchiefs in the toilet. I'm not sure why I would think to chuck a bottle into the toilet anyhow. I mean I don't do that in a normal toilet, why would I suddenly think to start doing that on a plane? Even more puzzling, what is that last drawing supposed to be? A bar of soap? A pencil eraser? Why would I even have those things in my possession? I even asked the flight attendants and they were equally puzzled. If nothing else, I think I've sparked a debate that will go down in Air Canada lore of what that drawing is supposed to represent.
• I saw South Park reruns on TV every single night in Canada. Shouldn't Canadians hate this show? All the Canadian characters on the show are morons, and they even wrote a song called "Blame Canada" for the South Park movie, with the lyrics, "blame Canada, blame Canada, it seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along, blame Canada, blame Canada... they're not even a real country anyway!"
• I had heard that curling was a huge sport in Canada, but I didn't really believe it until we were flipping channels and saw TSN (the ESPN of Canada) with non-stop curling coverage. They even did that picture in picture thing where they cut away from your match to show you some split screen live action of another curling match in progress. We sat there for 45 minutes watching this thing, and we still couldn't figure out what was going on. Just to give you an idea of how athletic one needs to be in order to compete, there was a guy who was nicknamed "The Kid" and he was nearly 40.

That's all for now, eh?