red pandas suck

News story from Sydney, Australia:

Twelve week old male Red Panda cubs, Jishnu, left, and Tenzin, go on show to the public at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia, on Wednesday, March 28, 2007.

Red pandas... that sounds pretty interesting. Then I saw a couple pictures of them:




Um, that's just a red raccoon, man. If that's a red panda, give me a real panda any day:



Oh yeah, that's the stuff... give me one more, baby:



That's how real pandas roll. Yeah, what's up red panda? You think you're so damn cute? You got served, yo.

starbury isn't all that bad, i guess

I had heard a while back about New York Knicks guard, Stephon Marbury (or as he refers to himself, "Starbury"), endorsing a line of sneakers that cost only $14.98 a pair, but I never thought much about it at the time. Earlier today, it was reported that Marbury has enlisted Ben Wallace to join the effort to bring affordable footwear to the market.

"Kids don't really understand what it takes to go out and buy a pair of $300 pair of shoes," Wallace said at a news conference on Tuesday. "We don't understand the pressure we put on our parents when we're growing up. This is one of the things where I think the parents will appreciate it a lot more than the kids right now because it eliminates so much stress from the parents. All parents want to see their kids have nice things."

Launched a year ago, the Starbury line is expanding from 50 products to 200 — nearly all available for $14.98 or less at Steve & Barry's University Sportswear. It includes a joggers shoe, skater shoe, casual shoe, gym shoe, woven shirts, jackets, jeans, T-shirts, shorts, hats and other accessories.

At a time when youngsters feel pressure to wear expensive brands of shoes and clothing and are even being killed for what's on their feet, Marbury and Wallace are trying to provide an alternative.

I was never a big Stephon Marbury fan, but applaud this cause. These shoes are no worse in quality than shoes sold for 7, 8, 9 or even over 10 times the price by Nike, Adidas, and Puma. There have always been cheap sneaker alternatives (like the infamous Payless Shoe Source, ProWings brand), but none with the cache of two NBA hoop stars standing behind the product (which could save today's kids from the "cheapskate!" taunts that plagued me during my elementary school years -- hey, I'm Chinese... that's how we roll).

In any case, the shoes actually look pretty nifty. You can reserve your own pair here. I recommend the patriotic red, white and blues. If nothing else, you can hang them up on your flagpole if you end up not liking them.

VT alums are apparently highly caffeinated

If you guys have been watching the NCAA Tournament at all the past couple weeks, surely you've come across the following commercial. It features a Virginia Tech alumnus who has a ritual for VT games involving Coca-Cola.

The basic jist is that he always has to hold a can of Coke in his hands for the duration of the game. There's also some superstition about needing to crack open a new can before taking the final sip of the old can. So far, this seems reasonable enough.

Then the guy mentions that once the can is empty, he uses it to build out the VT logo, and the camera pans down to about 20 Coke cans lined up on a coffee table. Are you telling me that this guy drinks 20-25 cans of Coke during a single game? How is this possible? Shouldn't he be dead at this point?

Don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big fan of Coca-Cola. But even for me, after about three Cokes, all that acidity starts to get a little disgusting. I can't even imagine what it would feel like after the 25th Coke. Ick.

Here's the commercial, in case you wanted to see the magic for yourself:

jeff garcia? really?

NFL quarterback, Jeff Garcia (formerly of the 49ers, Browns, Lions, and Eagles), just got engaged to marry Carmella DeCesare, the 2004 Playboy Playmate of the Year. Yes, this is the same Jeff Garcia who sparked this response from Terrell Owens in a Playboy interview back in 2004:

PLAYBOY: Former 49er and current Cleveland Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia, with whom you played for years, has denied media rumors that he's gay. What do you think?

OWENS: Like my boy tells me: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.

Not that Owens should be taken as an authority on much of anything, but what to make of this marriage if he's even vaguely correct? Maybe it's an elaborate Can't Buy Me Love-type setup, with Garcia in the Patrick Dempsey role. He probably told Carmella that he'd buy her a white leather jacket to replace the one she stole from her mom and ruined, but only if she'd pretend to be his wife to dispel any lasting rumors about his sexual orientation (not that there's anything wrong with that... as the Seinfeld crew might say).

In any case, look for Jeff and Carmella to cruise into the sunset on a riding lawnmower very soon.

Just to recap... this guy:



Somehow landed this girl:



Even though he also takes photos like this:



But his mom likes it, so he's got that going for him... which is nice:

sanjaya makes the ladies weep

So I'm watching American Idol (TiVo delayed, of course -- the only way this bloated show is vaguely watchable), and I was about to fast forward through Sanjaya Malakar's performance when I noticed a girl in the crowd that was literally brought to tears by his singing.

If you've watched Idol at all this season, you know first-hand how non-tear-invoking Sanjaya should be. He's a wispy Indian kid with a weak voice and an effeminate stage presence. But I guess that hits a very special spot for some people.

In the little girl's defense, she was only like 10 or 11, so theoretically My Little Pony could bring her to tears as well.

Just to recap... this guy:



Made a little girl do this:

the answer: knocked up

The Question: What is the funniest movie of 2007?

A bold prediction? Maybe. But I could not stop laughing during the last Judd Apatow flick, The 40 Year-Old Virgin, and from the looks of the trailer, Knocked Up makes its comedic older brother proud.

The cast itself includes some carryovers from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, starring Seth Rogen as a portly, yet fun-loving dude who gets Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl preggers after a one-night stand.

Granted, the movie will definitely be a bit vulgar. But, like The 40-Year-Virgin, I expect Knocked Up will balance some truly touching and genuine moments with its outright potty humor. In any case, my description of the premise doesn't do the trailer justice... you'll have to watch for yourself. Thank goodness for YouTube. And be forewarned, this is the R-rated version of the trailer so slap on your headphones if you're at work.

the house party continues

My pal John had an interesting gig this past weekend. He got to be the photographer on the set of Kid's new music video. Who's Kid? Come on, playa. Kid, from Kid 'N Play, yo!

What, you ask? He still makes music? Yeah, I said the same thing. And apparently, the answer is "hell yeah, biyatch!"

Let's take a time out to remember the greatness of Kid N' Play, shall we? Ah, the memories.

really bad ad...

Now, I've seen my share of bad ads, but this one is a bit baffling to me. What's with the choice of image here? Why is DJ Tanner from Full House advertising for a mortgage broker? And why is she standing like VICI the robot from that Small Wonder TV show? And what do robots have to do with refinancing a mortgage anyhow? Very odd.

golf and life

When I was first introduced to the game of golf, I was intrigued. It seemed so simple on the surface -- just swing a club, knock a ball into a hole. No problem. Then I started to play a bit more, and I found out that golf was actually quite frustrating. Lots of mis-swings and errant shots careening all over the course, but just when things seem terrible, you'll hit a miracle shot that re-ignites your passion for the game.

There was a time when I was really into golf, playing almost every weekend, focusing on improving my game. Then after being in a groove for a while, the wheels just started to come off. Golf got repetitve, my game wasn't growing, I was no longer able to keep my focus during the long rounds, and the miracle shots were fewer and further between. I basically decided not to play anymore. It just wasn't worth the money and the trouble to keep hacking away.

Why do I tell you this? Well, because golf is like relationships. This is what I realized. Sure, it seems like an enjoyable endeavor on paper, but once you actually get in the game, it's really more frustrating than you can ever imagine. Miracle shots keep you coming back, and you practice to refine your swing and keep the game interesting, but a couple bad rounds can really sour you on the whole experience.

But like relationships, I know one day I'll be back swinging away. As a guy, it's just one of those things that you can't avoid. And who knows, maybe I'm no Tiger Woods, but hopefully I'll be able to love the game enough to keep playing until I'm old and gray.