tour de scandal

2006 Tour de France champion, Floyd Landis, has been accused of doping due to a high level of testosterone in his system after his tour win. This has lead many in cycling circles to cry in outrage, urging that Landis be stripped of his Tour title.

In his defense, Landis proclaimed:

"We will explain to the world why this is not a doping case but a natural occurrence,"

"I would like to make absolutely clear that I am not in any doping process," Landis said. "I ask not to be judged by anyone, much less sentenced by anyone."

To which the world responded:

"You ride a bicycle, you're skinny as a rail, you're freaky looking, you're name is Floyd, and you won a race in France. If your name ain't Lance, NOBODY CARES."

today's laugh at the expense of someone else's misfortune award goes to...

... this guy:



Mental note, if there's a St. Louis Cardinals game occuring at the same time a huge storm front moves into the area, do not attend the game. I repeat, DO NOT ATTEND the game. Ouch.

(not so) shocking news of the day

Lance Bass, former NSYNC boy band member and wanna-be astronaut, has *gasp* come out of the closet. In the E! online news article that shocks absolutely no one, Lance says:

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said [that I was gay], it would overpower everything," he told People.

"I didn't know: Could that be the end of 'N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, 'Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did."

"The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that [the rumors] really were starting to affect my daily life," he told People. "Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

Kudos to Lance for confirming the absolutely obvious. Next news flash: Puppies are furry. Shocking! In any case, let the record show that Lance was not the end of NSYNC. Horrible songs where they danced like puppets did the dirty work for him.

Lance is linked to a winner from one of the various Amazing Race seasons -- Reichen Lehmkuhl. Reichen was also linked to Clay Aiken in the past, which only proves one thing. This Reichen guy has terrible taste in washed up homosexual singers.

haley's comet... er, saturn

Haley Joel Osment, you know the freaky little robot boy from A.I. is in the hospital after getting in a car accident early this morning. From the E! Online article:

The Sixth Sense star was hospitalized in Pasadena early Thursday after reportedly losing control of his car, hitting a brick pillar and flipping his vehicle.

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, the 18-year-old actor was en route to his home in the L.A. suburb of La Canada-Flintridge at roughly 2:10 a.m. Thursday when his 1995 Saturn jumped the curb, collided with a four-foot brick mailbox pillar and overturned before coming to a stop.

The onetime Oscar nominee was alone in the car at the time of the accident and no other vehicles were involved.

Apparently Haley Joel is doing ok, but I nearly wept him after I read this. Oh, not because he was in an accident. Solely for the fact that he drove a 1995 SATURN. Here's what my sixth sense tells me -- movie stars should not drive the same car as my 5th grade P.E. teacher. They just shouldn't.

Haley Joel, get well soon, buddy. And then get yourself to a BMW or Mercedes-Benz dealership ASAP.

i see your 360 and i raise you 720

Someone's got hops...



That was And1 mix-tape tour player, "The Air Up There" (as an aside, these And1 nicknames are getting a bit out of hand -- if you're named after a lame Kevin Bacon movie, you can't really be that street, can you?).

What's more impressive though, the 720 or Vince Carter dunking over a guy who stands 720 inches tall (ok, he's 7'4", but that's still really friggin' tall). To refresh your memory:



Boo-ya.