As I was walking back home from getting a haircut in the East Village, I stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change. An African-American woman wearing a bicycle helmet looked at me and started saying something. I couldn't quite hear her, so I walked closer and politely said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."
The woman then said something to the extent of why the hell are you here, go back to China where you belong because nobody wants you here. I was a little taken aback, given that I've never really encountered racist remarks directed specifically at me. The fact that she too was a person of color also threw me off a bit. I mean, the only ones who really have the right to say, "we don't want you in our country," are American-Indians, so I don't think this lady had any more of a claim to the corner of 1st and 1st than I did.
She kept screaming at me as she walked, to which I yelled, "I think you need to tighten that helmet, because you've obviously bumped your head too hard." But perhaps instead of resorting to such insults, I should have spent some time enlightening her on the beauty of the Chinese culture, and all of the advances we've introduced into her life.
For example, I'm sure she enjoys a tasty bowl of spaghetti from time to time... who doesn't? Who is responsible for spaghetti? Italians, you say? Well, sure, but where did Italians first get the idea for noodles? That's right. China.
And this woman probably flew a kite as a child, marveling at the amazing heights reached by a simple piece of cloth soaring into the heavens. Hey, guess what, lady? That joyful memory that was brought to you by, you guessed it. The repulsive Chinese.
The July 4th fireworks display you love to watch each year off the Hudson River? China invented gunpowder and fireworks. Reading your favorite newspapers and magazines? Us too... we invented movable type printing. Silk boxers? Yeah, the Chinese thought of silk. That wig you're hiding under your crazy bike helmet? Mmm hmm, made in China. Toothbrushes, toilet paper, and wheelbarrows? China, China, and China.
So why all the hate, miss? Look at all we've done for you! You should be thankful to have such a talented, proud culture living in your midst. I think once I told her all this, she would have agreed, put aside her hate, and then called all her friends to tell them about the nice Chinese boy she met. Oh well. Maybe next time.
