unnecessary details

I was at Duane Reade today and I saw the following box:



What is the logic behind the photos detailing what an unhealthy nail looks like versus a healthy nail? Are they hoping people will wander the aisles, happen to see the photo of the unhealthy nail, think to themselves, "holy crap, that looks like my nail," and then purchase the box?

Because if that's the goal, congratulations Myococide MS! I had no idea my mangled, yellow, half-eaten nail was in fact unhealthy until I saw that box. Six bucks later, and my nail is now shiny and clear. Thanks Woodward's anti-fungal cream!

And... scene.

a lesson in race

As I was walking back home from getting a haircut in the East Village, I stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change. An African-American woman wearing a bicycle helmet looked at me and started saying something. I couldn't quite hear her, so I walked closer and politely said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

The woman then said something to the extent of why the hell are you here, go back to China where you belong because nobody wants you here. I was a little taken aback, given that I've never really encountered racist remarks directed specifically at me. The fact that she too was a person of color also threw me off a bit. I mean, the only ones who really have the right to say, "we don't want you in our country," are American-Indians, so I don't think this lady had any more of a claim to the corner of 1st and 1st than I did.

She kept screaming at me as she walked, to which I yelled, "I think you need to tighten that helmet, because you've obviously bumped your head too hard." But perhaps instead of resorting to such insults, I should have spent some time enlightening her on the beauty of the Chinese culture, and all of the advances we've introduced into her life.

For example, I'm sure she enjoys a tasty bowl of spaghetti from time to time... who doesn't? Who is responsible for spaghetti? Italians, you say? Well, sure, but where did Italians first get the idea for noodles? That's right. China.

And this woman probably flew a kite as a child, marveling at the amazing heights reached by a simple piece of cloth soaring into the heavens. Hey, guess what, lady? That joyful memory that was brought to you by, you guessed it. The repulsive Chinese.

The July 4th fireworks display you love to watch each year off the Hudson River? China invented gunpowder and fireworks. Reading your favorite newspapers and magazines? Us too... we invented movable type printing. Silk boxers? Yeah, the Chinese thought of silk. That wig you're hiding under your crazy bike helmet? Mmm hmm, made in China. Toothbrushes, toilet paper, and wheelbarrows? China, China, and China.

So why all the hate, miss? Look at all we've done for you! You should be thankful to have such a talented, proud culture living in your midst. I think once I told her all this, she would have agreed, put aside her hate, and then called all her friends to tell them about the nice Chinese boy she met. Oh well. Maybe next time.

nothing says "sales leads" like racism!

I was watching the Super Bowl this Sunday with about 10 other friends, and we were having a great time critiquing not only the game, but also all of the Super Bowl ads that were peppered throughout the broadcast.

One that stopped us in our tracks cold was the following by SalesGenie.com:



There’s nothing like a racist panda bear cartoon to silence the room in disbelief. SalesGenie.com also had another ad airing during the Super Bowl, this one depicting an Indian worker as a nebbish loser who needs a job to support his 7 children. Again, way to work those stereotypes!



Did we just see two obviously offensive stereotypically racist commercials airing during the biggest advertising day in the U.S.? Really? And did SalesGenie.com really think this was a smart way to get the word out about its product?

Hmm… apparently so, since not everyone was as negative on the campaign as I was. Check out this post on AdRants, where author Steve Hall touts the ads in the following manner:

Still sort of cheesy but both spots are dead on message: Salesgenie will give you 100 free sales leads and improve your sales. In our eyes, Salesgenie has redeemed itself and is assured of not winning the Worst Super Bowl 200 Award of the Year.

Really? "Dead on" message? Not the worst Super Bowl ads? Umm, unless the message was "hey, we think ching-chonging Asians is crazy hilarious," I kind of missed the theme that Hall touts as "dead-on." I guess SalesGenie.com should try to ding a couple of other nationalities next time around to really get Mr. Hall’s attention.

Unless you're down with racially insensitive advertising, I suggest you boycott SalesGenie.com. What's that you say? You have no idea what you'd use the company for anyhow? Hmm, good point. They're probably happy I'm even wasting my time writing about them in any way. Touché, racist jerks. Touché.

one giant step for man(ning)...

As a die-hard 49ers fan, I could hardly believe it when I found myself rooting loudly and proudly for the New York football Giants in the Super Bowl this evening. I mean, these are the same Giants that knocked my beloved Niners out of the playoffs in 1990, on a Roger Craig fumble as he was trying to run out the game clock. The Giants went on to defeat the Buffalo Bills, 20-19 in Super Bowl XXV a week later – a victory I always felt rightfully belonged to my Niners.

In my defense, I do live in New York now, so it’s hard not to feel good for a city that I’ve grown to love. And the Giants were near 14-point underdogs going against a humorless, cocky, robotic team known as the New England Patriots. Not only did the Patriots team seem way too confident about their chances, but each and every Patriots fan on the planet was über obnoxious in their support for their team.

Tack on the fact that the Patriots were undefeated going into the Super Bowl and were crushing their opponents and running up the score up to humiliate them, and all I have to say is this: Karma’s a bitch, fellas.

Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead, and three cheers for the most unlikely Cinderella since NC State took out Olajuwon and Drexler in the 1983 NCAA Tourney. Ok, too obscure a reference for the non-sports-initiated reader? How about Marisa Tomei winning an Oscar for My Cousin Vinnie as an equally unlikely underdog victory (seriously… any movie where the phrase “what the hell is a youte” doubles as the best joke in the movie does not deserve a statue).

So go, go, go Giants! Well, at least until next year, when I go back to rooting for my gutty (polite word for crappy) 49ers once training camp starts.