Beach volleyball. Why is this an Olympic sport? Don't get me wrong. It's currently in the Olympics, so I love it to death. But does anyone else think it's an odd fit here? I mean we already have indoor volleyball as an event. 6 on 6. Old school. A proven commodity. And then someone decided, hey, people are playing this on the beach! And there's just 2 on each team! Let's definitely make that an Olympic event!
If you think about it, it would be like someone watching a game of 3 on 3 halfcourt street hoops, and thinking, man, this is gold medal worthy! Which maybe isn't that bad an idea. We could bring those guys from the AND1 Mix Tape tour to Athens to represent the US of A. Just like in beach volleyball, the rules in street hoops would be slightly different.
First of all, you can travel, so long as it's done in an entertaining sort of way. Like if you're tossing the ball behind a dude's head back to yourself, just to make him look like the biggest loser alive, that's not travelling, that's just cool.
Second, everyone must have a nickname. This is non-negotiable. Indoor hoops can keep their lame Stephon Marburys and Carmelo Anthonys. We want Hot Sauce, The Professor, and The Main Event. You don't have a nickname? Go home. This ain't no place for you.
Lastly, one on one play is rewarded. None of this zone shit. Break your man's ankles, you get a point. Bounce a ball of someone's head, dance like MJ, and then no-look pass it for an alley-oop dunk? Now we're talking a 7 point combo. We'll score it like NBA Street. Shooting percentage can go to hell. This is about showmanship.
Hmmm... what was I saying about beach volleyball being lame? I stand corrected. Beach volleyball is only the beginning! Next up for the Olympics -- Air It Out flag football! Can someone get the IOC Preisdent for the 2008 Games on the phone? Thanks.
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