dubbledubs

Man, it's been a while

2010-05-11T16:26:00.005-04:00

So I've been immensely lax in updating this blog. Two reasons for this:

1) Global warming
2) The worldwide economic crisis

Now that both are well under control, I'm back!

What should we talk about? Well, how about this:

Lost is down to the final 3 episodes, and they've weeded out some of the last remaining minority characters on the show (you can add Sayid, Jin, and Sun to the list of the non-white departed). Hey Hugo, maybe you better watch your back.
I saw Jessica Alba while in line for brunch. Yes, that's right. The Dark Angel herself. And yes, that's right. I eat brunch. Initial thoughts - quite tiny in person, but still lovely even with minimal makeup while wearing a hoodie and jeans. Also steals 10 person tables that were to be given to people (ahem, ahem) waiting long before she arrived.
Kobe Bryant took these photos willingly.
Angel is a cheater! Poor Buffy.
Betty White killed it on SNL.
So did Jay-Z (kicking off a medley with Public Service Announcement and ending with Empire State of Mind? Genius).
Oh, I also had ACL reconstruction surgery since we last saw each other. My advice? I don't care what all the cool kids are telling you. Do not tear your ACL.
Puppies are still awesome.
Kate and Jon Gosselin are still not.

Until next time!

Blasphemy on Yahoo! IM

2009-07-27T17:21:00.005-04:00

My friend Matt is a terrible person for reasons too numerous to list in one posting, but this really takes the cake:

Matt
5:14
someone needs to rein joe morgan in

Me
5:14
is he worse than tim mccarver?
mccarver is the one i really hate

Matt
5:15
yeah
every broadcaster sucks
there are few that are good

Me
5:16
except vin scully
even chick was questionable esp at the end

Matt
5:16
sorry, I never liked vin scully

Me
5:17
WTF

Matt
5:17
his voice bugs the sh*t out of me

Me
5:17
you go to hell right now

Matt
5:17
ha

Me
5:17
seriously

Matt
5:17
can't stand him

Me
5:17
you must die
and go straight to hell

Matt
5:17
I watch dodger games on captioning

Me
5:17
that is unacceptable

Matt
5:17
it's just his voice
OBNOXIOUS

Seriously, people. What kind of world are we living in? I thought this was a civilized world filled with rational human beings. I guess I was wrong.

Kudos, Judy Chu

2009-07-16T12:19:00.004-04:00

In one of my Random Thoughts rants a couple weeks ago, I posted this:

In my hometown of Monterey Park, CA, some of the officials running for city office used to send pot holders in the mail to each resident with their names printed on them. I guess the hope was that we'd remember their names by using them often. My sister was baking something the last time I was home, and promptly burned her hand using this flimsy pot holder. I said, come on, if you were dumb enough to trust Judy Chu to protect your hands, you deserve to get burned. So, Judy Chu, if you wanted us to remember your name, mission accomplished! However, just know that we associate it with crappiness.

Apparently, no one else associates the name Judy Chu with crappiness, since she's just become the first Chinese-American woman elected to Congress. From the Los Angeles Times:

The San Gabriel Valley Democrat, who will represent the 32nd District, adds the victory to a 24-year political career. She won with nearly 62% of the vote and the support of local political leaders.

So my apologies to Judy Chu, who like me is a fellow Bruin alumnus and former Monterey Park resident. We will cherish your flimsy pot holder for all eternity as you represent a zillion Chinese folks in DC.*

*Actual Chinese population may be slightly under a zillion in the San Gabriel Valley. It only seems that way.

See Ya, Trev

2009-07-03T13:19:00.001-04:00

The Lakers lost Trevor Ariza, their starting small forward during this past championship season, yet they arguably got better, signing former All-Star Ron Artest in his place. I'm not sold on Artest -- he's a talent for sure, but also a head case. We'll leave that story for another day. My biggest beef is with Ariza. Laker fans are outraged, stating the ball club was too cheap to shell out and keep Ariza around. To these fans I say, check your facts.

Look, I was a big fan of Ariza, given his L.A. roots and UCLA background, but the kid completely misplayed his cards. He was at best the 5th or 6th best player on the Lakers, but for some reason thought he was entitled to a big payday... in the worst recession in the past 50 years... with the salary cap decreasing for the 2009-2010 season.

When the Lakers offered Ariza the full mid-level exception of $5.6 million a year for 5 years, Ariza reacted as if they gave him Lyme disease. His agent thought the offer was a slap in the face and vowed to shop Ariza around the league to get him the payday he deserved. Turns out no one else was willing to pay the kid anything more than the original Lakers offer. And fewer still were willing to give him the 5 years the Lakers offered, an offer that came with the benefits of playing for a team that should be championship caliber throughout the bulk of it.

The ultimate trump card? The Lakers knew Ron Artest wanted to play with Kobe Bryant. Badly. Sure, they felt a kinship to a kid they helped to shape into a valuable NBA contributor, but when Ariza and his agent started making noise about what inconsiderate villains the Lakers were, well, kinship only goes so far. So General Manager Mitch Kupchack picked up his phone and gave Artest a buzz. And not surprisingly, Artest -- a man who needs a championship to validate his star-crossed career -- jumped at the chance to win a ring with the Lakers. In comes Artest. Out goes Ariza.

In the most interesting twist of fate, Ariza ends up signing with the Houston Rockets, the former team of Artest, swapping spots with the man he'll replace. The only problem with this swap is that Ariza will be making the exact same money but playing for a team that is going nowhere. So instead of holding a handful of championship rings, the move will likely lead to Ariza being exposed as an overpaid, offensively limited player. Not the ending I think he had in mind for himself when he started playing hardball.

Here's to you Trevor Ariza. Thanks for helping us win the NBA championship. I wish you luck with your Rockets career, but I can't help but think you'll live to regret this when you separate emotion from fact. And that agent of yours that helped you into this mess? He'll be fine. He gets his share of your contract, no matter how happy you are with the end result. At least someone's a winner in all this.

Teaching in the Big Apple

2009-06-23T15:38:00.014-04:00

From the AP via Yahoo! News:

700 NYC Teachers are Paid to do Nothing
By KAREN MATTHEWS, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK – Hundreds of New York City public school teachers accused of offenses ranging from insubordination to sexual misconduct are being paid their full salaries to sit around all day playing Scrabble, surfing the Internet or just staring at the wall, if that's what they want to do. Because their union contract makes it extremely difficult to fire them, the teachers have been banished by the school system to its "rubber rooms" — off-campus office space where they wait months, even years, for their disciplinary hearings.

The 700 or so teachers can practice yoga, work on their novels, paint portraits of their colleagues — pretty much anything but school work. They have summer vacation just like their classroom colleagues and enjoy weekends and holidays through the school year.

Because the teachers collect their full salaries of $70,000 or more, the city Department of Education estimates the practice costs the taxpayers $65 million a year. The department blames union rules.

"It is extremely difficult to fire a tenured teacher because of the protections afforded to them in their contract," spokeswoman Ann Forte said.

So let that be a lesson to all my not-so-hard working friends out there (um... you know why you are). If you want to hang out and still get paid, just teach for 3 years in NYC (that's the minimum length of time needed to acquire tenured status), then start verbally assaulting your students. You'll be in the rubber room in no time! Man, who needs a fat corporate banking severance package when you can exploit this little loophole for all it's worth?

The best quote from the article? Probably this one:

"Most people in that room are depressed," said Jennifer Saunders, a high school teacher who was in a reassignment center from 2005 to 2008. Saunders said she was charged with petty infractions in an effort to get rid of her: "I was charged with having a student sit in my class with a hat on, singing."

Singing in class? Ok, that's reasonable. But with a hat on? My god. What kind of monsters are our school systems creating? Let's give this teacher a paid vacation... that'll show 'em.

Don't Hide Money in Your Old Sh*t!

2009-06-10T11:56:00.006-04:00

From Yahoo! News:

Israeli woman mistakenly junks $1 million mattress
By IAN DEITCH

JERUSALEM – An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress she said had almost $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites on Wednesday.

The woman told The Associated Press that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise present on Monday — and threw out the old one.

The next day, she said, she remembered that she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. "I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened," said the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified.

Oddly enough, this happened to my Dad a couple years ago, who for some unknown reason used to hide money in an old sport coat. The amount was nowhere near the earnings of a modest Israeli woman living with her mom (really, that's what single women living with their parents in Israel can amass these days? I'm definitely living in the wrong damn place).

My mom was doing some spring cleaning and of course she ran across some hideous 70's-style coats in my Dad's closet and decided to donate them to charity. When my Dad realized it, he freaked out, and my Mom went back to Goodwill to dig through piles and piles of clothes in search for the golden sport coat. Think it's hard to find a mattress in a dump? Try finding one article of clothing in a room filled with clothes donated over a series of months. Needless to say, she turned up empty.

The moral of the story? Buy old 70's sports coats from Goodwill and always choose matresses from the dumps of Israel. In this economy, it's probably your best bet.

Random Thoughts

2009-06-05T19:26:00.001-04:00

Some more random things that you probably have zero interest in:

While watching the NBA Finals last night (Go Lakers!), I noticed that GM ran an ad about how although they were bankrupt, they still have awesome plans in the works. Hey, wait a minute, GM. Let me repeat, you're bankrupt. This is even with a extra couple billion dollars in your pockets after the big bailout. And somehow, after being terrible enough to burn through all of this cash, you are spending big dollars running an ad campaign about how awesome your plans are? And people wonder what's wrong with the automotive industry in the U.S.
Dwight Howard has the broadest shoulders in the history of humanity. This is a scientifically proven fact*
When did they stop making regular shorts? All I ever see these days are either plaid shorts, or regular colored shorts with 50 cargo pockets sewed onto them. Can't I just get a regular solid colored pair of shorts sans ancillary pocketage? Why is this not an option anymore?
And on that note, how come I can't buy multi-colored striped knee high socks to wear with aforementioned shorts?
In my hometown of Monterey Park, CA, some of the officials running for city office used to send pot holders in the mail to each resident with their names printed on them. I guess the hope was that we'd remember their names by using them often. My sister was baking something the last time I was home, and promptly burned her hand using this flimsy pot holder. I said, come on, if you were dumb enough to trust Judy Chu to protect your hands, you deserve to get burned. So, Judy Chu, if you wanted us to remember your name, mission accomplished! However, just know that we associate it with crappiness.
Wi-fi on Virgin America is the best idea since live TV on airplanes. Flying is now just like being in my living room, only with more neon lights and a very, very tiny couch.
Science has shown that skinny jeans have proven to be an indicator of mental retardation in males.*
This is a fun article.
I like dogs.

* Keep in mind that "science" is defined in this blog as "stuff that seems true to me with utter disregard for fact"

Feeling oh so swine

2009-04-30T20:16:00.005-04:00

Swine flu. It's all I hear about these days. On the news, on the web, even on everyone's Facebook and Twitter statuses. I can't escape it. And I'm sure it's no laughing matter, but isn't this whole thing a bit overblown? I looked up the average data on yearly flu related deaths on the CDC website and found the following:

Every year in the United States, on average: 5% to 20% of the population gets the flu; more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu-related complications; and about 36,000 people die from flu-related causes.

Here's the current stats on the swine flu: 109 reported cases, 1 death. Any sort of death is lamentable, but in the grand scheme of things, this strain of flu seems no worse than any other strain of flu that we encounter each and every year. Again from the CDC:

The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of regular human flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue... Like seasonal flu, swine flu in humans can vary in severity from mild to severe.

But yet, the Mexican Football Federation says all pro soccer games in Mexico this weekend will be played without fans in an effort to slow the spread of swine flu and high school and college games have been cancelled altogether to curb the spread of swine flu. Why don't we do the same to curb the spread of the regular flu if it's just as, or even more deadly? Am I completely underreacting to this? Is underreacting even a word?

Someone please enlighten me if I should be running out and buying a mask tonight. Until then, I'll just react to this the way I've reacted to the bird flu. Wake me up when it's over.

Worst Recession Discount Ever

2009-04-10T16:04:00.003-04:00

I got this email from Ticketmaster yesterday:

Sadly, I missed out on saving an extra 5% to something I have no interest in at all because I didn't check my email fast enough. Oh no! How can I live with myself knowing that I could have saved a couple bucks on tickets I would not even spend a couple cents to buy?

How did I even get on a Sparks mailing list? Because I used Ticketmaster to buy Lakers tickets a few times? If the common ground here is basketball, let me throw this out there: Both NYPD Blue and Cop Rock were TV shows about cops, but the approach and the execution were very, very different. Let's not pretend it's all the same, shall we?

Set It and Forget It

2009-04-07T19:04:00.003-04:00

Behold. The madness that is the Showtime Rotisserie Grill. For some reason this thing was a crazy hit seller about 10 years back. The only question, why?

Because in reality, you're paying about $200 for this tool, which still doesn't actually do anything, until you:

Buy a raw chicken
Clean it
Prep it
Place the raw chicken in the Showtime Grill
Set it
Forget it
Wait 1 hour
Pull flaming hot rotisserie chicken out of grill
Take flaming hot rotisserie chicken off the flaming hot chicken holding unit
Put flaming hot rotisserie chicken on plate
Eat rotisserie chicken
Go back in the kitchen and clean grill

OR, you could just do the following:

Go to grocery store
Buy rotisserie chicken
Eat rotisserie chicken

All for about $2 more than buying a raw chicken. Um, is this really a difficult decision? You'd have to cook about 100 chickens for the grill to break even on the cost vs. buying the fully cooked chicken, not to mention the 50 other ridiculous steps needed.

Showtime Rotisserie Grill owners... you all fail.

*Special thanks to Jenn for making me think about this lame product this afternoon.

A Valentine's Day Card For You...

2009-02-12T18:40:00.002-05:00

Thought it would be nice to have a Valentine's Day card that my readers could download and share with their loved ones. Enjoy everyone! And, have a very happy Valentine's Day!

Random Thoughts

2009-02-11T18:25:00.005-05:00

Some random thoughts on a Wednesday evening...

Why is good mexican food so hard to find in NYC? It really doesn't seem that hard to make. Spices, meat, tortillas... am I missing something here? Note to all taco truck operators in California -- if you move to NYC there's an absolute KILLING to be made here. Seriously.
Do not buy 2-in-1 stain and polyurethane. It way too hard to control the depth of color and amount of sheen this way. Definitely buy them separately. It's a little bit more work, but you'll thank me in the long run.
Whoever created the 25 things about me phenomenon on Facebook, kudos to you! Even I'm surprised at what a phenomenon it's become. Although, I highly doubt it was just some individual user somewhere in the world that started this. I'm sure Facebook slyly perpetuated the chain letter to make people aware of the Facebook Notes feature, and show an example of why you'd want to tag people in a Note. Well played, Zuckerberg.
If you can't trust Chris Brown, who can you trust? Next thing you'll tell me is that Kobe Bryant isn't as nice as he seems.
Lost has me completely lost.
I've pretty much given up on Heroes, but I hear rumors that it's actually watchable again... true?
For some reason I'm actually excited about the G.I. Joe movie. Yo Joe!
I do not feel the same way about the Watchmen movie though.
Watchamals are too cool. Too cool!
Did you know that guitars can dehydrate and start to collapse and crack? I learned this the hard way. Proper humidity is key, guitar owners of the world.
If I was in Hawaii and a magical talking sea turtle swam up to me and told me a bad joke that really wasn't that funny, I'd still pretend to laugh. Just FYI.
Yes, I'm blogging again after a 3 month hiatus. Why? Well, I never really meant to stop. The real world just got the better of me. So I'm back, people. I'm sure none of you really care. But I care. So there. Nyeah.

Chris Brown. And Black. And Blue.

2009-02-10T11:55:00.002-05:00

As you've probably heard by now, singer Chris Brown has been accused of assaulting his girlfriend and fellow superstar, Rihanna this past weekend. Pretty big allegations that could land Brown in the slammer for 9 solid years.

The thing I wonder the most is this... was Ne-Yo licking his chops when he heard the news? Not that he wasn't sad for Rihanna, because domestic violence is a terrible, terrible thing. But in a small way, don't you think a little part of him was jumping for joy because he knows he gets to move up a rung on the R&B/Soul ladder?

I always felt like his fame got derailed by the emergence of Brown. They're basically the same dude in terms of type of song and general danciness (probably not a word, but I'm sticking with it). But poor Ne-Yo got brushed aside once Chris Brown hit puberty. Well, not so fast, music fans. There's a new sheriff in town. One that doesn't beat his gal pals (at least not that we know of).

Best PR of the Year

2009-02-09T13:47:00.003-05:00

The best PR move of 2009 so far was pulled off by none other than... the Queensland Tourist and Travel Corporation? Yes indeed, by sponsoring the "Best Job in the World" contest, Australia's most lovable province has bought more attention than any advertising money could have ever provided.

For those of you who didn't see the contest, the job consists of living on an island in Australia for 6 months in a million dollar home, swimming in the Great Barrier Reef, soaking in the Australian sun, and blogging about it from time to time. That's it.

The site generated tens of millions of views, enough to bring the server crashing down for much of the first couple weeks after the announcement. The promotion also led to tons of radio and TV interviews from stations all around the world. Not bad for the cost of letting one freeloader lounge around on the beach for 6 months.

Tourism in general has declined in Australia, so they needed a way to bring people to the island in an innovative way, given limited advertising dollars. Well, kudos, my friends... you did it! Now, if there was only a way I could land this job myself...

It's Just Miley, Being Miley

2009-02-04T18:12:00.005-05:00

From TMZ.com

Yet more people putting pee pee in your coke. Miley Cyrus (she's dead center in the pic, the 16 year-old girl who's sitting on her 20 year-old boyfriend's lap... but that's another issue altogether) is showing us how cool being racist is. OMG! Racism... *hugs*!

That one kid next to Miley has really got the look down, by the way. I mean the slant eyes on that kid are dead on. What's that? He is actually asian? Not just looking slant eyed for the sheer mockery of it? Oh. Right. Do you think he even knows what's going on around him in this photo? Actually do any of these kids? They all look pretty blitzed, and again, Miley is only 16 years old, so that's a pretty early age to get oh so wasted.

Eh, whatever. Billy Ray probably doesn't care, as long as the checks keep coming in from his little cash cow. Moo.

The Shake Shack

2008-10-13T21:19:00.004-04:00

Today I had lunch at the Shake Shack, which if you aren't versed in Manhattan eats, is the very hyped, uber crowded outdoor dining joint in Madison Square Park. I've eaten there in the past, but didn't pay close attention at the time. This time around I have a couple tips to pass along, just in case anyone out there is considering a Shake Shack snack.

Tip #1 - Get there before Noon. Ideally at 11:30am. Unless, of course, you enjoy waiting for over an hour in line to get a hamburger. Because sometimes that's fun too.

Tip #2 - Unless you're a really big fan of "secret sauce" you should probably just get a cheeseburger instead of a Shackburger. Double cheeseburger? $6.50 each. Shackburger? $7.75 each. Both have lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and two burger patties. So essentially you're paying $1.25 for ketchup mixed with mayo.

Tip #3 - The Double Stack and Shack Stack burgers are, in theory, amazing. The Double Stack is a cheeseburger topped with a deep fried portabello mushroom which has been stuffed with two kinds of cheese. Yes, you read that correctly. Can't quite picture it? Let me help:

The Shack Stack adds another hamburger patty to the mix, just in case your arteries were a little too free-flowing. The first three bites? The way the cheese explodes out its deep fried mushroom envelope and merges with the hamburger patty and bun below? Heavenly. Unfortunately, as you keep chomping, the grease and oil start to build up, like a cholesterol-fueled Voltron, as the flavorful mix begins a civil war with your stomach. My suggestion? Split this baby with someone else if you're going to try it.

In the grand scheme of NYC burgers, I'm not on board with Shake Shack as my favorite. Burger Joint in the Parker Meridien is my #1 in NYC, with good ol' In N' Out still my all-time fav. Care to disagree? I'm all ears.

They put pee pee in your Coke

2008-08-11T19:58:00.005-04:00

From The Guardian in the UK:

Spain's Basketball Federation has published a good luck advert for their men's team, the world champions, in which they stand pulling at the sides of their eyes in a slit-eyed gesture.

There is no obvious intention to upset their Olympic hosts in Beijing, but the irresponsible picture is likely to cause controversy and could be interpreted so as to lead to accusations of racism.

Spanish sport has been mired in rows over racism in the last few years. In November 2004 black English footballers were subjected to relentless racial barracking from home supporters in a match in Spain. Before the World Cup there were calls for Luis Aragones, then Spain's football coach, to be sacked after he called Thierry Henry a "black shit". And last year Lewis Hamilton suffered racist abuse during testing for the Spanish grand prix near Barcelona.

The photo in question appears below:

Terrible right? And the worst part? Some of them are pulling their eyes downwards. Hello? That's JAPANESE. You're making fun of Chinese people, you idiots. Our eyes are slanted upwards. If you're going to be racist, do it right.

Photo of the Week

2008-06-28T17:56:00.003-04:00

From the NBA draft, former Stanford player and newly minted Phoenix Sun, Robin Lopez, tries on his new team hat:

Hmmm, so this explains why Sideshow Bob never wears hats on The Simpsons.

From Predator to Capitol Hill

2008-06-28T16:23:00.003-04:00

From my friend Duke:

The entire cast of Predator will be leading our nation!

Former tough-guy actor sets sights on US Senate

What should Carl Weathers and Bill Duke run for?

He's right. First Jesse "The Body" Ventura is elected governor of Minnesota, then Arnold Schwarzenegger follows suit as governor of California, now little-known Sonny Landham is making a run for the Senate.

All I know is one thing... the cast of Alien really needs to step it up. That's right. I'm calling you out Sigourney Weaver. Yes we can!

Happy (Belated) Father's Day

2008-06-19T01:31:00.002-04:00

Since I wrote an entry about my mom on Mother's Day, I figured it's only fair to honor dear old dad for Father's Day. Sorry to my pops for getting around to this entry a little bit late, but as a Laker fan, he can certainly understand why I was a bit preoccupied earlier this week. Dad, we choked. And yes, Pau is soft.

In any case, of the many traits that my dad has passed along to my sister and me, one of the habits that we try the hardest to shake is our packrat mentality. My dad is the ultimate packrat. A small sampling of his madness:

He has kept nearly every pair of shoes he and I have ever worn. You know, in case I need those Air Flight II's with the hole in the sole.
He will not allow us to throw away broken electronics, hence our garage is filled with old clock radios, handheld radios, bulky walkmans, cassette decks, cheesy 80's stereo systems, and an 8-track player. If that kid from Hereos comes over and touches everything to fix it, we'll be set with radios for about 9 lifetimes.
He has numerous screws, bolts, nuts, and washers from various projects begun since the advent of his time in the U.S. This collection encompasses about 400 jars and boxes labeled and displayed in the garage.

And the strange packrat syndrome isn't limited to the house. No, it extends outside as well. Like what? Well, I don't think a mere description does this justice. Let's take a little tour of our backyard, shall we?

This is just a small sampling of the various basketballs I have had over the years. There are about 3 or 4 more in the garage itself. Look at that one on the top left:

Yes, it actually has no cover. That is a completely bald basketball. I'm glad my dad is holding onto it for safekeeping.

Someone gave me this cuckoo clock when I was around 8 years old. It now resides in this tool shed that my dad built. But that's not all that's in the shed...

Hey look, it's my old blacklight-ready Twilight Zone poster. Looks great framing the chainsaw and Easy-Off, doesn't it?

And ok, maybe my dad wants to display his golf button. I mean, he does love golf with all his heart. But why the need to display the pink plastic Happy Birthday sign? I think that came from some flowers I sent my mom about 4 years ago.

You know how sometimes you buy souvenirs on a trip and you have no idea what to do with them? Well, I bought a conch shell when we went on a family trip to the Caribbean about 12 years ago. When I brought it home, I really had no idea where to display it. But apparently my dad did. In a random corner of the garden. Sitting upright on a wooden post. Gorgeous!

Of course I saved the best for last. You see that thing in the bushes over there? No? Wait, let me get closer...

Do you see it now? It's right there. Still no? Ok, let me take one more step...

What is that, you might ask? It's a green dinosaur that my sister made in pottery class back in high school. Now it sits at the base of this little bush. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

So there you go. Grand tour over. Did you enjoy yourself? I know I did. I actually don't mind the packratting so much. It's somewhat interesting to see where the things you owned back in the 8th grade are going to end up next. And my dad is one of the most organized people I've ever met. Although he keeps virtually everything, he can tell you exactly where any of it is should you ever need it. Will I ever need the free giveaway Quentin Richardson poster from that random Clippers game I attended in 1999? Who knows. But if I ever do, I know who to call.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

The NBA Mole

2008-06-16T22:11:00.014-04:00

Have you ever seen that ABC reality show, The Mole? The basic premise of the show is that a group of strangers are brought together to complete a set of missions in order to win big money. The catch? One of the participants is "the mole" -- someone who's job is to secretly sabotage the group so they do not complete the mission.

The mole must be covert in order to avoid detection while they slowly unravel the group's morale. Sometimes the mole outwardly throws competitions. Other times if enough teammates are doing poorly, the mole can just sit back and watch the team lose without having to get involved. Every so often, in order to throw people off the scent, the mole has to put forth a strong effort, just to make it look like he cares about the team's well being before he goes right back to the sabotage.

After watching the first 5 games of the NBA Finals, I think I've figured out who the mole is on the Lakers. His name? Kobe Bryant. There can be no other explanation. How can a team that decimated their more powerful Western Conference counterparts be down 3-2 to a squad that was taken to the limit by the Atlanta Hawks?

The untrained eye may spot someone like Lamar Odom and think he's the mole. After all, he puts his head down and sloppily charges over people, misses wide open looks at the rim and always misses at least one of his free throws with every trip to the line. But you can see in Lamar's eyes that he could never pull off something as complex as being an NBA Benjamin Arnold. His nervous demeanor would never be able to conceal his treachery.

So could it be newcomer Pau Gasol? He did come late to the Laker party, after a mid-season trade from Memphis, so he might not care as much as everyone else about winning. I did suspect Pau for much of the Finals, given his soft rebounding, porous defense and scraggly beard, but reviewing some of the previous games this season proves that his lack of heart is merely an affliction of his Euro-league training.

Could it be members of the bench mob? Sasha Vujacic, Jordan Farmar, or Ronny Turiaf? Nah, none of those guys plays enough to really be able to determine an entire game. Vlad Radmanovic? Too obvious. Derek Fisher? Come on.

No, the mole has to be Kobe. Why? Well let's examine the reasons:

After two lopsidedly refereed games in Boston, Kobe knew that all he had to do was drive to the rim every single play in order to go to the line. It worked for Dwayne Wade when the Miami Heat came back from an 0-2 deficit to win the title in 2005. But what does Kobe do? He just stands 18-20 feet away from the basket and shoots fade away jumpshots. Kobe's not throwing his body into the paint like Boston counterpart, Paul Pierce, even though the refs are rewarding offensive aggressiveness.

On the sidelines, rather than listen to instruction from his coaches, Kobe berates and demeans all of his teammates and then sits away from the huddle during timeouts. Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling was close enough to the bench to hear Kobe's remarks, which he then blogged about for the world to see. As we said, the mole tries to unravel the group's morale. Check.

During defensive sequences, Kobe freelances much of the time, drifting off his man and just wandering around the court trying to make steals. Many times, this leads to defensive breakdowns since the other players are rotating late while trying to pick up the slack.

Kobe Bryant is the only one cold-blooded and calculated enough to pull this off. Even during his sexual assault trial, Kobe was so detached from reality that he complained about the quality of the plane the Lakers chartered to bring him to and from his Denver trial.

I'm onto you, Kobe Bryant. I'm not exactly sure why you're sabotaging your own team -- did someone promise you a date with Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Williams, and Vanessa from the Cosby Show to complete your "I Heart Vanessa" collection, but only if you throw the Finals? Who knows?

All I know is you're the mole. I dare you to prove otherwise this week, Mr. Bryant. You have two games left.

A Sporting Reason

2008-06-13T15:24:00.008-04:00

I am a sports fanatic. Anyone who knows me knows this. From the Lakers to the 49ers to UCLA athletics, I will go out of my way to catch a game involving my favorite teams. At the same time, I know quite a number of people who don't know the first thing about sports. And at first glance, I used to look at them with disdain. Really, you don't follow sports at all? What's wrong with you? But upon further analysis, I think maybe they're onto something.

When it really comes down to it, I can love the Lakers with all my heart, but do the Lakers really care about me? Likely not. And in the grand scheme of things, does my cheering from my living room in NYC really have a bearing on the outcome of the game? No. Doesn't make much sense, does it?

Jerry Seinfeld once made a joke that when someone's on your favorite team you cheer for them, but once they leave, you boo them. You're really not cheering for anyone in particular. Basically you're just rooting for laundry. And when distilled in those terms, sports seem like a silly exercise.

If all of this is true, what is the point of sports? When rooting for laundry brings about heartache after a big loss, does sports really mean anything? I argue that it does. What exactly? Well let's start with community. Sports bring people together.

A NYC construction worker and a Fortune 500 CEO in their midtown office may have absolutely nothing in common on the surface. But get either of them going on the topic of the Yankees, and suddenly their worlds become much more relatable. Following the stats of men dressing in matching uniforms becomes a daily ritual. As much as talking about the world at large, sports become a springboard that propels a conversation.

Sports also serve as a non-verbal tie. Strangers wearing the same team colors can give each other a knowing nod as they walk by each other on the street. It's almost like being in a gang, only without the need to shoot other people and be jumped in. Well, unless you're a Raiders fan.

What else does sports bring us? How about a proxy for life in general? Grandiose claim, you say? Hear me out. Sports teach us at a young age about competition and teamwork. In order to strive for the big prize, you have to work hard and keep focus. And even then, it's really difficult to succeed unless you can also be a great team player. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and sports teach us about how to maximize our own strengths and exploit the weaknesses of opponents. Is any of this so different than understanding what it takes to succeed in the workplace?

Sports also teach us that even the best talent can lose and lose badly. David can outduel Goliath. For every New York Giants team beating the previously undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, there's a real world corollary. Think Michael Ovitz joining Michael Eisner at Disney only to see the stock sink to record lows while tiny Pixar comes out of nowhere to create box office magic. You never know what the outcome is going to be until you play the game.

In order to truly feel both the wins and the losses, one needs to become fully invested. That's why the heartbreak of losing a 24-point lead in the NBA Finals can reach far beyond the players on a team. The sheer amount of investment in the team is like owning stock in a company. Winning can pay dividends (in the form of smack talk and team pride) and the longer you hold on through the lean years, the larger the reward when victory is achieved.

In the end, I'm not sure that any of this fully encompasses why sports mean much of anything. But I like to believe it does. If not, I've been wasting a hell of a lot of time following a bunch of laundry.

Big Brown not as disappointing as his team

2008-06-07T19:25:00.006-04:00

I'm not a fan of horse racing. Let's just get that out of the way to start. I actually think it's pretty strange that we care if one random horse can run faster than other random horses. Does the horse itself really care either way? Probably not. But all of the hype surrounding the final leg of the Triple Crown, and the fact that the Belmont Stakes is run here in New York, led me to watch today's race.

For those of you who are not versed in horse racing, a quick primer. There are 3 major races every year -- the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes. A horse that wins all three races in one year is considered a Triple Crown winner. The last time a horse has pulled off the feat? 30 years ago in 1978 with Affirmed. So any time a horse wins the first two races, expectations are high coming into the third and final race.

This year, a horse named Big Brown won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness without much trouble, and thus was a huge favorite to win the Belmont Stakes today. How huge? He was a 1-4 favorite, meaning that if you put up $100, you'd only stand to win $25 if Big Brown won.

Well, guess what happened? Big Brown lost. And not only did he lose, but he lost badly. He finished dead last. Over 120,000 people came out to watch this race, with about $6 million dollars alone being bet just on Big Brown to win. Needless to say, a huge disappointment.

In ABC's coverage, story after story was created to add drama to the event. However, rather than making me like the Big Brown contingent, I ended up wanting to root against them. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the horse himself. He seems like a nice enough equine. No, my dislike is for all of the people surrounding Big Brown.

For instance:

Jockey, Kent Desormeaux, had a story about his son, Jacob, who was born with a rare condition called Usher Syndrome. This disease leaves sufferers with hearing loss and vision loss. The sad tale was supposed to be hopeful because if Desormeaux's son loses his vision he'd always have the visual of Big Brown winning the Triple Crown to get him through the tough times. I did feel bad for his son, but the story was done so poorly it evoked little emotion and just seemed like it was exploiting Jacob's disease to make the otherwise cantankerous jockey look more sentimental. At the end of the story, they showed Kent watching, likely to get a teary-eyed visual, but he really didn't look all that emotional about it. When asked about the story, Kent made odd comments, something along the lines of God giving his son this disease so that the spotlight can shine on their family in times like this. And when asked if he would be thinking of Jacob as he rides, he said he definitely would not -- once his legs were over the horse, nothing else matters but the race. I'm sure he didn't mean these words to come out so callously, but it didn't help me feel good about Big Brown's jockey

It was clearly stated that Big Brown was given steroids by his trainer regularly as part of his training program. This means that Big Brown was juiced for the first two races which he won going away. While it's not exactly illegal in horse racing to use steroids (for what reason I don't know), not all horses use it, so the ones that do draw a suspicious eye. In order to deflect any criticism, trainer Rick Dutrow decided not to inject Big Brown leading into the Belmont Stakes. Were steroids the reason Big Brown was so good in the first two races and so terrible in the third? Hmmm...

Speaking of trainer Rick Dutrow, they showed a story about his personal life, where he talked about how he was a hard living guy who loved gambling, expensive women, and drugs. It was set up as a heart-warming tale of how was able to dig himself out of his excesses and train a Triple Crown contender. However it came off really strangely. Dutrow detailed how the mother of his child, a former beauty queen in Jamaica who had a terrible crack habit, was murdered by a crack dealer. Dutrow seemed to have little to no emotion about the event. Even worse, they talked about how he then took his daughter, Molly, to live in a horse barn up through age 3 because they couldn't afford any other place to live. Then at age 3, he sent Molly away to live with her grandmother because he couldn't take care of her. Classy statement of the day? Dutrow laughs and says, look I still live a hard life, do you really think I can take care of Molly? I can barely take care of myself! And then oddly the story closes with a note that Molly is now living with him "for better or worse" (yes, the voiceover actually said that). Heartwarming! Dutrow closes the story with a brash guarantee that Big Brown would win. Oops.

All in all, the day was highly anti-climatic, and ABC's coverage was pretty horrid. Perhaps I'll watch another race one day when another Triple Crown hopeful comes to light, but I'll definitely steer clear of the pre-race schlock that comes along with it.

Sarcasm is Lost on Today's Youth

2008-05-27T08:21:00.009-04:00

A while back, I wrote a blog entry about red pandas at a zoo in Sydney. The gist of the entry was a sarcastic comment that red pandas were not as cute as the better known black and white giant pandas.

A couple weeks later, I followed this entry up with one about boto dolphins which I had seen on the Discovery Channel documentary show Planet Earth. Again, I made a comparison between boto dolphins and their more commonly known ocean counterparts, the bottlenose dolphin.

Little did I know there would be a public outcry for my random musings. A sampling:

Anonymous said...

You know what? You suck, and you are an ugly, warped example of a human. I would prefer your mom anyday!
- January 19, 2008 11:13 AM

Anonymous said...

that is mean God made them the way they are for a reason! and i think they ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- April 04, 2008 10:20 PM

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymas!!!!!!!! That is tottaly mean! I am doing a report on these animals, and they are amazing! you should care!
- April 22, 2008 10:23 PM

Anonymous said...

Well SOMEONE is RETARDED here. You just wasted space on your blog writing this piece of meaningless crap. I only found this when I googled 'Boto Dolphins' for my project on how endangered they are. Maybe they are endangered because biased, bloody blockheads like you kill them because they're ugly. I don't give a crap about how ugly they are, and no one really does. "Oh, EW! BOTO DOLPHINS SUCK!!!!" That's how you sound, you bloody piece of crap. Go jump off a cliff.
- May 25, 2008 6:04 PM

Wow, there's some major love out there for the boto dolphin. I checked my logs, and there were actually quite a number of hits for this entry, all coming from Google Images. I did a search for "boto dolphin" myself and saw that my page was somehow the number one image listing for this term (oddly enough with a picture of a bottlenose dolphin rather than a boto dolphin).

I guess there are a number of teachers assigning homework about the boto dolphin, and thus a number of kids looking for information about them. I think that's great. I really I do. But I also think today's youth are very lame. Not only do they not understand the simple concept of sarcasm, but look at them:

Ugh, Really? Is that the kind of youth we have in this day and age? What happened to the kids of days gone by who could understand fun and games, like these guys:

Or the kids who really understood how to hang tough despite the odds:

That's what I'm talking about. Sorry lame kids of today who can't spell but insist on leaving comments on my blog. The kids of yesteryear rule!

Graffiti Spoilers

2008-05-14T19:05:00.006-04:00

I was wandering through Greenwich Village when I spotted the following:

It made me laugh that someone took the time to deface public property in this manner. But more importantly, it made me realize that there must be a whole world of graffiti spoilers out there. Graffiti that reveals a plot twist or secret ending for the world to see. I am taking it upon myself to collect them all, and to do this, I created www.graffitispoilers.com.

Please keep an eye out and help me on my quest. If you happen to see a graffiti spoiler of your own, whip out your cell phone cameras and send them my way, won't you? I'd appreciate it!

Time to Face Facts

2008-05-14T00:37:00.004-04:00

Why must you poke me on Facebook? What does that even mean? Do you like me? Do you hate me? If so, just tell me. I'm not even sure how to respond to a poke. So just stop it.

In fact, I'm not sure how to respond to the Facebook phenomenon. Everyone thinks it's so cool to amass all of these friends. Why? I don't care how many friends you have. In fact, I'm not even really your friend, person I worked with for two months who I once had a conversation about bagels with. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that you have a Bigger Brain than me and that you loved the movie Iron Man, but do I need a news alert to keep me informed about what you wrote on your friend Mindy's wall? Probably not. And Mindy's way out of your league by the way. Waaaay out.

I think all of these Facebook apps have really gone overboard as well. There's now an app for everything. For my favorite music. For Scrabble. For scribbling on my page. Even for SuperPoking. I don't even like regular poking. Please don't bring your enhanced cyberfinger this way, ok?

The one thing I do know about Facebook is that it can't last. We've seen this story before, haven't we? From Yahoo! Groups, to Friendster, to MySpace, to Facebook, something else will always come along. You know why? Because you're not cool. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're really not. I mean you're great and people think you're awesome in your own unique way, but you're not cool the way kids these days perceive coolness.

Therein lies the problem. Kids want to congregate where all the cool kids are. But cool kids don't hang out in places where their parents and teachers have set up pages and profiles. They want to be free to poke each other in geriatric free environments. And more power to them. I wouldn't want to set up my "I hate Ms. Andrews" teacher bashing page in the same space that hosts photos of Ms. Andrews drunk in Vegas, as tagged by Mr. Dinkins, the P.E. teacher. Well, actually that would be sweet. But promiscuous teachers like Ms. Andrews are few and far between.

No, instead what you have will be teachers who set up fake profiles in the same network as their students, using them to snoop around and read their private thoughts. This has already happened in a well documented case at the prestigious Horace Mann School in New York City. It's only a matter of time before Horace Mann becomes Bel Air Prep becomes Regular Old School U.S.A. and kids move on to the next thing, taking the it factor with them.

So enjoy your pokes while you can, people. Because by this time in a couple of years, you'll be snarking people on PeopleChain or whatever the cool kids choose to call home. It's just the natural thing to do.

Mother's Day Thoughts...

2008-05-12T02:45:00.009-04:00

In honor of Mother's Day, I figured I should write a little something about my mom. But let's face it, I'm not good with sappy sentiments. So instead, let's celebrate another brush with my mom and technology. A couple years ago, I documented my mom's exciting experience with On-Star in her new car.

If you click on the link, you'll also see my dad's first (and only) attempt at e-mail. Now my mom's definitely more computer savvy than my dad, but she's also a bit e-mail challenged. Her e-mail Achilles heel? She's an over-forwarder. You know. The people who like to forward things like this:

A list of fun trivia my mom bet I didn't know (like did you know that "stewardesses" is the longest word you can type with just your left hand, and "lollipop" is the longest word you can type with only your right? Well, you do now, thanks to my mom)
A PowerPoint presentation of the Beijing Olympic venues (not any actual people or events, just the venues themselves -- yes, photos of buildings)
A picture of some guy on top of the World Trade Center as a plane swoops in behind him. Yes, the one people sent around back in 2001. And yes, it's still a hoax and still in poor taste -- yet still surprisingly forwardable amongst older Chinese women
A laundry list of the benefits of drinking green tea. For instance, it fights cancer, prevents Alzheimer's disease, slows aging, is tasty, makes bones stronger, and prevents the flu. I don't think any of this has actually been proven. Except, of course, the line about it being tasty
A montage of Guinness World Record holders, like some dude with crazy long fingernails, and some lady with a really long neck
A 22 photo slide show of a kitten and parakeet living together in perfect harmony. Just like this, only 22 times longer:

I think the interesting thing about all this is that I've learned a little more about my mom. I now have more insight into the things that she finds amusing and interesting. And sure, I've learned that it encompasses strange facts about typing words with your right hand, freak show Guinness Record holders, green tea, and parakeets and kittens living in harmony. But I'm still glad she's given me a glimpse into this part of her online world.

Good for you mom. Embrace technology with open arms! Happy Mother's Day!

Somebunny Loves Me...

2008-03-26T17:00:00.003-04:00

Aww... this explains a lot. Or actually not much at all:

If I'm Laura Bush, I am not standing for this floppy-eared homewrecking. Hey W... less bunny hugging, more Osama hunting please.

Sound Advice

2008-03-24T14:34:00.003-04:00

I was watching MTV last night, and saw the following commercial:

Yes, it's Nehemiah and Johanna from the Real World: Austin counseling America's youth on career information. That would be great, if only either of the two actually had a career of their own. Instead, they are just doing Real World/Road Rules Challenges and otherwise hanging out and capitalizing on what little they have left of their 15 minutes of fame. Ah, the epitome of the MTV role model.

Marathon Sessions

2008-03-24T00:21:00.003-04:00

One of the things that I love about Bravo, MTV, and VH1 are that they allow you to catch up on their shows by running a marathon of past episodes prior to airing a finale. It definitely helps to build an audience for the finale that may not otherwise tune in. It also allows viewers who have never seen one episode of a certain show to get hooked on a lazy weekend afternoon.

The one thing I hate about these marathons -- during the commercial breaks, they always show a teaser for the finale. I assume this is to let users know what day and time to tune in, but for folks who haven't seen the episodes leading up to the finale, these commercials are total spoilers. Hey look, it's the two finalists for Top Chef. Yay! But I'm only on episode 4, and now you've just ruined every other episode for me. Boo.

Can't these channels put a modified promo during marathons that just say "you're watching the marathon for America's Best Dance Crew, tune in for the finale on Thursday?" It would keep people happily watching the marathon AND get the date and time of the final episode in their minds. Seriously. Is this too much to ask?

An Idol Question

2008-03-12T22:33:00.004-04:00

I was watching the results show of American Idol this evening -- yes, I somehow got sucked into watching this show again this season. The thing that struck me today is that the bottom three contestants, ie. the ones that received the fewest votes, get to sing their song again before one of them is sent home.

I guess this has always been the case but for some reason I never noticed until today how utterly ridiculous this is. These are admittedly the absolute WORST three performances from the night before, so why would the producers of the show force us to listen to them again? Wouldn't it be better to keep viewers' interest by showcasing the three best renditions instead? This just doesn't make sense to me.

Ah yes, I know why I never really thought about this before. I hardly ever watched the results show, since it stretches out something that should take 2 seconds into one full hour. I'll just go back to my old habit of just tuning in next week and figuring out who's missing. Or maybe I'll just stop watching this ridiculous show. Um, yeah.

Random Thoughts, Canadian Edition

2008-03-12T01:36:00.009-04:00

Some random Canadian thoughts for the day as I am sitting on a plane headed back to New York from Vancouver:

Whistler/Blackcomb is a nice resort for snowboarding. Just a nice variety of terrain for all levels. Although $84 bucks a day is damn steep, especially since the dollar is so weak. Sigh. Stupid U.S. dollar.
And just to illustrate how weak our dollar is now, I bought lunch from Burger King in Vancouver airport which ended up being $3.84. I whipped out 4 U.S. dollars, handed it to the cashier, and got just one lame Canadian penny back. Ouch.
I just finished watching No Country for Old Men on my trusty laptop. Can someone please explain to me what the hell the last 30 minutes of that movie were all about? If you looked up anti-climatic in the dictionary, I think a DVD of this movie would be sitting right there, slapping you in the face.
Why are planes the only place where the bathroom is referred to as a lavatory? No one ever refers to the bathroom as a lavatory outside of this setting, do they? I just find it strange. It would be like if people just started calling a telephone a snog simply because they were using it on a boat.
In any case, in aforementioned lavatory, I saw this sticker on the toilet (and don't worry, my hands were clean when I snapped this shot, honest):

Ok, so I'm not supposed to throw cups, bottles, or handkerchiefs in the toilet. I'm not sure why I would think to chuck a bottle into the toilet anyhow. I mean I don't do that in a normal toilet, why would I suddenly think to start doing that on a plane? Even more puzzling, what is that last drawing supposed to be? A bar of soap? A pencil eraser? Why would I even have those things in my possession? I even asked the flight attendants and they were equally puzzled. If nothing else, I think I've sparked a debate that will go down in Air Canada lore of what that drawing is supposed to represent.
I saw South Park reruns on TV every single night in Canada. Shouldn't Canadians hate this show? All the Canadian characters on the show are morons, and they even wrote a song called "Blame Canada" for the South Park movie, with the lyrics, "blame Canada, blame Canada, it seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along, blame Canada, blame Canada... they're not even a real country anyway!"
I had heard that curling was a huge sport in Canada, but I didn't really believe it until we were flipping channels and saw TSN (the ESPN of Canada) with non-stop curling coverage. They even did that picture in picture thing where they cut away from your match to show you some split screen live action of another curling match in progress. We sat there for 45 minutes watching this thing, and we still couldn't figure out what was going on. Just to give you an idea of how athletic one needs to be in order to compete, there was a guy who was nicknamed "The Kid" and he was nearly 40.

That's all for now, eh?

unnecessary details

2008-02-27T01:36:00.002-05:00

I was at Duane Reade today and I saw the following box:

What is the logic behind the photos detailing what an unhealthy nail looks like versus a healthy nail? Are they hoping people will wander the aisles, happen to see the photo of the unhealthy nail, think to themselves, "holy crap, that looks like my nail," and then purchase the box?

Because if that's the goal, congratulations Myococide MS! I had no idea my mangled, yellow, half-eaten nail was in fact unhealthy until I saw that box. Six bucks later, and my nail is now shiny and clear. Thanks Woodward's anti-fungal cream!

And... scene.

a lesson in race

2008-02-06T23:04:00.000-05:00

As I was walking back home from getting a haircut in the East Village, I stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change. An African-American woman wearing a bicycle helmet looked at me and started saying something. I couldn't quite hear her, so I walked closer and politely said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

The woman then said something to the extent of why the hell are you here, go back to China where you belong because nobody wants you here. I was a little taken aback, given that I've never really encountered racist remarks directed specifically at me. The fact that she too was a person of color also threw me off a bit. I mean, the only ones who really have the right to say, "we don't want you in our country," are American-Indians, so I don't think this lady had any more of a claim to the corner of 1st and 1st than I did.

She kept screaming at me as she walked, to which I yelled, "I think you need to tighten that helmet, because you've obviously bumped your head too hard." But perhaps instead of resorting to such insults, I should have spent some time enlightening her on the beauty of the Chinese culture, and all of the advances we've introduced into her life.

For example, I'm sure she enjoys a tasty bowl of spaghetti from time to time... who doesn't? Who is responsible for spaghetti? Italians, you say? Well, sure, but where did Italians first get the idea for noodles? That's right. China.

And this woman probably flew a kite as a child, marveling at the amazing heights reached by a simple piece of cloth soaring into the heavens. Hey, guess what, lady? That joyful memory that was brought to you by, you guessed it. The repulsive Chinese.

The July 4th fireworks display you love to watch each year off the Hudson River? China invented gunpowder and fireworks. Reading your favorite newspapers and magazines? Us too... we invented movable type printing. Silk boxers? Yeah, the Chinese thought of silk. That wig you're hiding under your crazy bike helmet? Mmm hmm, made in China. Toothbrushes, toilet paper, and wheelbarrows? China, China, and China.

So why all the hate, miss? Look at all we've done for you! You should be thankful to have such a talented, proud culture living in your midst. I think once I told her all this, she would have agreed, put aside her hate, and then called all her friends to tell them about the nice Chinese boy she met. Oh well. Maybe next time.

nothing says "sales leads" like racism!

2008-02-04T01:42:00.000-05:00

I was watching the Super Bowl this Sunday with about 10 other friends, and we were having a great time critiquing not only the game, but also all of the Super Bowl ads that were peppered throughout the broadcast.

One that stopped us in our tracks cold was the following by SalesGenie.com:

There’s nothing like a racist panda bear cartoon to silence the room in disbelief. SalesGenie.com also had another ad airing during the Super Bowl, this one depicting an Indian worker as a nebbish loser who needs a job to support his 7 children. Again, way to work those stereotypes!

Did we just see two obviously offensive stereotypically racist commercials airing during the biggest advertising day in the U.S.? Really? And did SalesGenie.com really think this was a smart way to get the word out about its product?

Hmm… apparently so, since not everyone was as negative on the campaign as I was. Check out this post on AdRants, where author Steve Hall touts the ads in the following manner:

Still sort of cheesy but both spots are dead on message: Salesgenie will give you 100 free sales leads and improve your sales. In our eyes, Salesgenie has redeemed itself and is assured of not winning the Worst Super Bowl 200 Award of the Year.

Really? "Dead on" message? Not the worst Super Bowl ads? Umm, unless the message was "hey, we think ching-chonging Asians is crazy hilarious," I kind of missed the theme that Hall touts as "dead-on." I guess SalesGenie.com should try to ding a couple of other nationalities next time around to really get Mr. Hall’s attention.

Unless you're down with racially insensitive advertising, I suggest you boycott SalesGenie.com. What's that you say? You have no idea what you'd use the company for anyhow? Hmm, good point. They're probably happy I'm even wasting my time writing about them in any way. Touché, racist jerks. Touché.

one giant step for man(ning)...

2008-02-04T00:28:00.000-05:00

As a die-hard 49ers fan, I could hardly believe it when I found myself rooting loudly and proudly for the New York football Giants in the Super Bowl this evening. I mean, these are the same Giants that knocked my beloved Niners out of the playoffs in 1990, on a Roger Craig fumble as he was trying to run out the game clock. The Giants went on to defeat the Buffalo Bills, 20-19 in Super Bowl XXV a week later – a victory I always felt rightfully belonged to my Niners.

In my defense, I do live in New York now, so it’s hard not to feel good for a city that I’ve grown to love. And the Giants were near 14-point underdogs going against a humorless, cocky, robotic team known as the New England Patriots. Not only did the Patriots team seem way too confident about their chances, but each and every Patriots fan on the planet was über obnoxious in their support for their team.

Tack on the fact that the Patriots were undefeated going into the Super Bowl and were crushing their opponents and running up the score up to humiliate them, and all I have to say is this: Karma’s a bitch, fellas.

Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead, and three cheers for the most unlikely Cinderella since NC State took out Olajuwon and Drexler in the 1983 NCAA Tourney. Ok, too obscure a reference for the non-sports-initiated reader? How about Marisa Tomei winning an Oscar for My Cousin Vinnie as an equally unlikely underdog victory (seriously… any movie where the phrase “what the hell is a youte” doubles as the best joke in the movie does not deserve a statue).

So go, go, go Giants! Well, at least until next year, when I go back to rooting for my gutty (polite word for crappy) 49ers once training camp starts.

most, but not all

2007-12-20T16:22:00.000-05:00

I saw this image on my friend's Yahoo! Messenger status:

And I guess to some extent it's true. But there are exceptions, of course:

See.

oh, hey. thanks for the heartfelt greeting...

2007-12-20T15:41:00.000-05:00

When I opened up my email inbox today, I got a very touching holiday greeting. See for yourself:

Isn't that sweet? It's not even from UCLA specifically, which would make some sort of sense. No sir. It's from all ten schools that comprise the Conference of Champions®.

I had no idea that the Pac-10 and I were so tight. This is what the holidays are all about, people! True friends. Heartfelt wishes.

Happy holidays everyone!

i need to see some ID... or not?

2007-11-20T01:09:00.000-05:00

I stroll out of my apartment and look down at my watch --- 5:10pm. Right on schedule. I've left myself plenty of time to make my way out to JFK for my 7:05pm flight to sunny Los Angeles. I walk down to the corner of 1st and 1st, you know, the nexus of the universe, and hail a cab.

I hop in, fall asleep somewhere in the midtown tunnel, and before you know it 45 minutes have passed and I'm pulling into the departures area. I pull out my money clip and peel off 55 bucks to hand to the cab driver. I grab my bags and wheel into the terminal. A quick glance shows 5:55pm... yup, still on schedule.

I walk up to grab my boarding pass, reach into my pocket, and... oh crap. I pull out my money clip, my keys, my ipod shuffle, and my Blackberry. I seem to be missing something. I forgot to take my wallet. Great job, me. In a panic, I look down at my watch... 6:08pm. Damn it. A cab ride back to Manhattan and back would be at least an hour and 30 minutes, not to mention an additional $110 in cab fare. I really f-ed this up.

Defeated, I walk up to the counter and ask if there are any later flights to Los Angeles. The guy at the gate says, no this is the last flight to Los Angeles, but I'm here in plenty of time. I explain that I forgot to bring my wallet, and thus have no ID.

"No driver's license?" Nope. "No passport?" Nope. "Nothing?" No. "Oh, well you can still go on the plane." Um... what? "I said, let me print your boarding pass, you can still get on." Did he not hear me? I said I had no ID. "No, I know. They'll just do some extra security measures. Have a great flight!"

Puzzled, I grab my pass and look down at my watch -- 6:18pm, if this doesn't work, I'm defintely not getting into LA tonight. I walk up to the first security guard at the front of the zig zagging ropes leading to the X-ray machines. I hand her my boarding pass. "ID please?" Um, I don't have it. I forgot my wallet but the guy at the ticket counter said you'd be able to do some sort of extra security measures? "No, I don't think we do that." Well, that's what the ticket guy said. "He did? Well, ok. go ahead, you can try it up there." She points me down the line towards the X-ray machine and let's me through. Success at checkpoint #1.

I make my way up to the second set of guards and hand him my boarding pass. "ID please?" I actually don't have ID, I forgot it at home. "You have no driver's license or passport at all?" No, they said I could still get on with extra security measures? "Um... yup. Sure." The security guard turns and grabs a marker and draws two long lines on my boarding pass before handing it back to me. "Ok, you're all set."

I looked across at the metal detector and X-ray machine. Was I just supposed to put my stuff in there like any normal ID carrying citizen? I guess so. I throw my stuff onto the conveyor belt and wait for the guard to wave me through. He does, and I walk through the metal detector. No problem. He looks at my boarding pass, and waves me into a side area. Uh oh. Here it comes. The extra security measures in full force.

A male guard waves me into a small roped off area. He lightly frisks me, and then asks me to point out which stuff was mine on the conveyor belt next to us. I point it out. Another guard grabs it and swabs everything for explosives. No searches through any of my stuff. Just some cotton swabbing on the outside of my bags. No bomb residue detected. Hooray. They then take my boarding pass, stamp it with today's date, and then hand it back to me. "Ok, sir. You're all set."

I look down at my watch -- 6:25pm. Did I really just do this? I just walked through airport security with no ID. None whatsoever. I'm not sure if this made me happy that I got through so easily, or just a bit nervous about the whole situation. In all honesty, a little bit of both.

One more glance and it's 6:35pm. Time to board. I realize I'm just happy to be on the plane, regardless of the circumstances. LA, here I come!

famous and original

2007-11-09T23:40:00.000-05:00

I have been living in my New York apartment for just over 3 months now, but somehow I didn't realize that the place I call home is in fact the nexus of the universe. Says who? Well, none other than Kramer himself. Examine, if you will, this exchange from the classic Seinfeld episode, "The Maid":

JERRY: Hello?

COMPUTER VOICE: You have a collect call from--

KRAMER: Hey, buddy, don't say no!

JERRY: I accept.

KRAMER: I went down to Madeline's. I told her, "You gotta move, or it's over."

JERRY: Well, what happened?

Elaine gets up and leaves.

KRAMER: I think it's over. We had a big fight, she threw me out, I started walkin', and now I'm lost downtown! I don't have any money. I don't recognize anybody. I miss home... and I don't even know how to get there.

JERRY: What's around you?

KRAMER: I'm lookin' at Ray's Pizza. You know where that is?

JERRY: Is it Famous Ray's?

KRAMER: No. It's Original Ray's.

JERRY: Famous Original Ray's?

KRAMER: It's just Original, Jerry!

JERRY: Well, what street are you on?

KRAMER: Hey, I'm on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.

JERRY: Just wait there. I'll pick you up, and, Kramer, stay alive no matter what occurs, I will find you!

KRAMER: Aah!

The odd thing is, there is no Ray's Pizza here. Not Original Ray's. Not Famous Ray's. Not Famous Original's Most Famous Ray's. None. There is a Ray's somewhat nearby, about 3 blocks away. But that one's on Ludlow and Houston (and about 2 streets down from that Ray's is yet another Ray's, but I digress).

But those streets are neither funny nor the nexus of the universe. So I guess I'll forgive that geographical transgression just this once.

the halloween rules

2007-10-29T18:16:00.000-04:00

It surprises me that every year Halloween comes and goes, and there's still people who don't get the rules. What rules, you may ask? See, you're part of the problem. It's time to get educated, my friend. It's time to learn the Official Rules of Halloween:

Girls need to dress scandalously: I'm not saying all girls should dress like whores. Not at all. I'm just saying your costume needs to be more scandalous than your normal, every day outfits. Halloween is the one chance per year to let your hair down and go a tad wild. Don't squander it by carrying around a big piece of cardboard and going as a Facebook profile (true story, and also truly difficult to maneuver in).
Guys need to do more than wear a tuxedo T-shirt: Seriously. That's not good enough.
If you go to a Halloween party, you have to wear a costume: Come on. This is non-negotiable. Why even bother going to a Halloween party if you're not going to dress up? Oh wait, that's right. To gawk at girls who dress scandalously. Well, consider that your fee for the privilege to gawk. It's the least you can do.
All kids under the age of 5 should be dressed as animals: What's cuter than this:

Or this:

I rest my case. Once the kid turns 5, ok, he can be Batman, and she can be a princess. Until then, animals. You'll never have this time back, people. Strike when the iron is hot.
Candy should be given out based on merit: I had kids last year who came to my house with no costume at all, just screaming for candy. On the flipside, I had other kids ringing my doorbell who had fantastic costumes. Why should they both get the same Snickers bars and Sour Patch Kids? This is America, people. We should award candy based on merit. You come to my door with no costume? Well, you get raisins. That's the rules. Will you throw these on my porch, or at my window out of disgust? Probably. But I'm willing to take that chance, because you don't deserve a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. You just don't.
Older kids should still get candy: Provided they qualify under the rules of candy-giving merit above, Older kids should still get a crack at a treat during Halloween. I mainly put this rule in here because I once went trick-or-treating as a college student at UCLA and I have to defend this somehow.
Candy corn and black licorice are gross: A timeless observation, but nonetheless as true in 2007 as it was in 1907.

Got any other rules that should be added to this list? Comment away!

you know you're a bad parent when...

2007-10-01T18:11:00.000-04:00

...Kevin Freakin' Federline is deemed a better adult role model than you. From E! Online:

Kevin Federline will finally get to prove his mettle as Mr. Mom: Britney Spears has, for the time being, lost physical custody of her sons.

Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon issued an order Monday granting Federline the sole right "to retain physical custody of the minor children." It goes into effect Wednesday at noon, "until further order of the court."

Sources confirm to E! News that Federline already has custody of sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.

When it rains it pours, huh Brit? At least you can fall back on your awesome stage shows to console you through the lonely night. Oh wait... you can't.

shhh!

2007-08-23T14:26:00.000-04:00

From the "sometimes it's better to let sleeping (in heaven or otherwise) dogs lie" files, ladies and gentleman... Stephon Marbury:

Stephon Marbury Defends Michael Vick, Calls Dogfighting a Sport
August 22, 2007

NEW YORK (AP) -- New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury defended Michael Vick, calling dogfighting a sport and comparing it to hunting.

Marbury spoke Monday about the federal dogfighting conspiracy charges against Vick while promoting his basketball shoe in Albany, N.Y.

"I think it's tough," Marbury said, according to Albany TV station Capital News 9. "I think, you know, we don't say anything about people who shoot deer or shoot other animals. You know, from what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors."

On Monday, Vick said through a lawyer that he will plead guilty to a federal charge of conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce in aid of unlawful activities and conspiracy to sponsor a dog in an animal fighting venture. He also faces possible prosecution in Virginia.

"I think it's tough that we build Michael Vick up and then we break him down," Marbury said. "I think he's one of the superb athletes, and he's a good human being. I just think that he fell into a bad situation."

Just a tip to Stephon... if you want to keep peddling your own low-priced kicks (which is actually quite a noble endeavor), maybe it would be a good idea to steer clear of supporting a "sport" that results in electrocuting, beating, and hanging dogs, not to mention watching them tear each other to pieces.

the surest sign that kids are liars

2007-08-20T14:01:00.000-04:00

This AP article only proves one thing... today's youth are not at all honest when taking surveys:

Poll: Family ties key to youth happiness

So you're between the ages of 13 and 24. What makes you happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine the answer to sound something like this: Sex, drugs, a little rock 'n' roll. Maybe some cash, or at least the car keys.

Turns out the real answer is quite different. Spending time with family was the top answer to that open-ended question, according to an extensive survey — more than 100 questions asked of 1,280 people ages 13-24 — conducted by The Associated Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America's young people.

Next survey -- what types of food do you find most tasty? Celery and carrot sticks, get ready for the shocking responses!

my favorite things...

2007-08-15T00:27:00.000-04:00

As seen through the eyes of my camera phone:

My iPod Shuffle

When I first bought this thing back in LA, I thought it would be the perfect thing to use when I went running. Super small and lightweight, with a built in clip so you didn't need to have any pockets to hold it, what more could you ask from a running companion? I forgot one glaring hole in this purchase decision -- I don't like to run. I tried to get into it, but I used the shuffle for running, oh, about zero times. I remember telling a friend of mine it was perhaps one of the dumbest impulse purchases I've ever made in my life.

Well, no longer! Now the iPod Shuffle is my trusty companion nearly every day of my life. It's perfect for drowning out the city traffic noise, and making a mundane subway journey enjoyable. The fact that it can slide into my pocket along with my earbuds means that I can take it literally anywhere... even on a night out on the town.

My Magazines

I subscribe to a lot of magazines. I mean a lot. More than any one person should. This photo only shows a sampling of what I subscribe to. There's about 3 or 4 more not pictured. Again, I'm not kidding. I think magazines appeal to the ADD in me. I can't seem to focus long enough to read an entire book, so magazines provide just the right amount of reading material to hold my withering attention span. I also enjoy reading about a diverse set of random topics, ranging from finance, to pop culture, to start-up businesses, to fitness, to music, to hot actresses named Jessica (Alba or Biel, either will do).

Prior to NYC I'd be lucky to slog through half of my stack per month, but with the time spent on subways and just tooling around the parks to take advantage of being outside, I am actually powering through my magazines with renewed vigor. Yes, I just used the word vigor.

My Gold Adidas Sneaks

These babies are on their last legs and I'm really bummed about it. Purchased from the DSW in Pasadena, these cloth outer soled gold trimmed sneaks have been my constant companion for the past two and a half years. Light enough to stick in a suitcase, comfy enough to walk the streets of NYC, rugged enough to take outdoor hikes in Hawaii, yet stylish enough to get me into the trendiest clubs, I'm going to miss this kicks when I have to part with them. Sigh.

Jaywalking

Oddly, this is one of my favourite things about New York City. I like it so much, that I spelled the word favorite like I was Hugh Grant. A culture built around walking means never having to wait for the light to change. Why let a little thing like a bright red hand stop you when there's no traffic to be seen? Hell, why let a little thing like a bright red hand stop you when there *IS* traffic to be seen? Just take a quick glance, look to see that it's at least clear enough to get you across the street with only a glancing blow from a side mirror, and off you go.

My Blue Threadless T-Shirt with All the Animal Silhouettes On It

There's just something about the sheer simplicity of this shirt that I love. The shirt features the alphabet from A-Z with an animal associated with each letter. My favorite is "N" for norwhal (a whale with a horn, for those who aren't in the know). The bright royal Dodger Blue coloration doesn't hurt. But the Dodgers plummeting out of first and into 4th place in the NL West in the span of two weeks? Yeah, that hurts. Stupid Dodgers.

Vegas, baby... Vegas!

I just happened to have this picture of Vegas on my phone from testing a new feature that I'm building out at work. I also happen to love Vegas. For, oh, about 48 hours max. Any more than that, and Vegas becomes one of my most hated places in the world. If you've never been there, just trust me on this one. Get in. Get out. Don't stay too long. Remember that movie, Gremlins, where those cute little mogwai turn into menacing gremlins if you feed them after midnight? Um, yeah. Same idea.

Hooray for camera phones!

catching z's

2007-07-23T03:40:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep. Actually this is untrue. I *could* sleep, but for some reason I seem to find a ton of things to do late into the night that preclude me from doing so. It's like my mind kicks into another gear after midnight and I find a million little things to ponder.

Some might call me a night owl. I think this understates the case, as the night owl by definition is purely nocturnal. No, my job demands that I be dayturnal as well, which basically sucks, since sleep is the sacrificial lamb in this case. And strangely for someone who loves sleep as much as I do, I don't seem to get enough of it.

Perhaps it is because the wise rapper Nas once said, "sleep is the cousin of death." If Nas is correct, gravitating towards things which inevitably lead towards the end of our existence would indeed be a silly choice. However, upon further research, I now believe that sleep is merely the great step-uncle of death. And really, how often do you actually see your great step-uncle? Maybe once ever at a family reunion? And even at that point, he's probably too busy playing mah-jong with all the other old people, and thus would never come close to interacting with you.

So what's my point here? None. Except I think this 3:40am blog post only illustrates one fact. I really need to go to sleep. Like really badly. Good night.

waking up in the city that never sleeps

2007-07-18T03:06:00.000-04:00

Ok, I admit. It's been a loooooong time since I've written anything. But I really do have a good excuse this time. I moved clear across the country to New York and have been preoccupied with fixing up and selling my house in Pasadena, quiting my old job, starting a new job in NYC, finding a new apartment, learning how to get around the city, figure out the subway system, poke around for decent spots to eat, and basically meeting a whole new social network. So other than that, I guess I've just been twiddling my thumbs.

What brought me to the east coast, you ask? Well, two main reasons. A great job opportunity at an up and coming mobile services company, as well as the realization that if ever there was a time to try living in NYC, now would be it. If I let one or two more years go by, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't drop everything to make the move. And what's the worst that could happen? Even if I hated it, I could make my way back to California without too much trouble. So I bit the bullet and sold my worldly possessions (well in the process of trying to sell them, anyway) and headed East.

I remember when I started telling people I was moving out here. The common response was, "what, New York? You? Seriously?" And while I'd like to call my friends jerks for being skeptical, I really can't blame them. Why would a guy who hated walking, isn't fond of crowds, loves the beach, and has a bitter fear of cold winter days, choose NYC as a target destination? On paper, this made about as much sense as creating a reality show around the former lead singer of Poison. But if Bret Michaels can pose as the rock and roll version of the Bachelor, surely I could adjust to life in the Big Apple.

And you know what? NYC has been a blast. I've met a lot of new people, gotten to experience a whole new way of life, and overall am very happy I made the move. Keep in mind, the muggy summer heat hasn't really decended upon me yet. And I have yet to make it through a winter. So let's not be too hasty and call it a fairy tale ending. For now, I'm just glad to report that I'm a New Yorker, and so far, I'm loving it.

Take that, skeptical friends!

poor miss usa

2007-05-29T14:36:00.000-04:00

In last night's Miss Universe pageant, our very own Miss USA, Rachel Smith, had a night to remember. Oh, it's not like she won or anything. She came in 4th runner up, which in itself is really not all that memorable.

But she did fall on her ass in front of the world on live TV, so that was notable. And she was constantly booed throughout the night by the Mexico City crowd, who reports say were voicing their opposition to illegal imigration laws in the US (although I like to think they booed her because she would not shut up about her time in the Oprah leadership camp). So all in all, despite losing, Rachel Smith will be talked about and remembered. At least until tomorrow, at which point we'll immediately forget her.

odd video of the day

2007-05-15T20:42:00.000-04:00

Wow. Japanese cartoon land is a wonderous place. I mean any place where confetti rains on you every time you go number two must be pretty awesome, right?

If anyone actually speaks Japanese, can you confirm that the subtitle translations are accurate?

when you need to see baby animals and hot babes

2007-05-10T20:11:00.000-04:00

I have a module that was defaulted on the new My Yahoo! homepage I set up that shows me the most emailed photos of the day. And the thing I've noticed over time is that there are only two types of photos that ever appear in here. Cute animals and hot babes. Nothing in between.

I wonder which ones are most emailed by women and which ones are most emailed by men. Hmmm...

See for yourself:
http://news.yahoo.com/photos/gallery/1756

an interesting ad for wendy's

2007-05-04T14:27:00.000-04:00

Hey boys and girls, it's David Hasselhoff enjoying a Wendy's hamburger. Looks fun, where can I get one?

(not so) shocking news of the day...

2007-05-02T18:39:00.000-04:00

Today's (not so) shocking news item comes from the Christian Science Monitor:

Key US Army Ranks Begin To Thin
By Gordon Lubold, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor

Thousands more mid-level enlisted soldiers are leaving the Army than in each of the past two years, forcing the service to increase its use of pay-to-stay programs and find other ways to keep GIs in the fold.

This truly is (not so) shocking, isn't it? People leaving the Army in droves? Any it's really hard to incent them to stay?

What reason could they have for leaving? I mean, it's not like we're entrenched in a meaningless war over questionable motives, leaving the country we invaded even more divided and unstable than when we arrived, with the President refusing to create an exit plan simply out of ego and hubris, right? What's that? We ARE entrenched in that exact scenario?

Wow. What a baffling problem for the Army. I really can't think of any reason why they can't get soldiers to stick around. Not a one...

feel good story of the day...

2007-04-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

Yes everyone, it's today's feel good story... that makes me completely uncomfortable. From the AFP comes this heartwarming tale of a blind pilot who flew halfway around the world:

SYDNEY (AFP) - A blind British pilot landed his microlight aircraft in Sydney Monday to complete a record-breaking flight halfway around the world.

Miles Hilton-Barber left London on March 7 and flew more than 21,000 kilometres (13,500 miles) to raise funds to fight blindness in developing countries.

"I've wanted to be a pilot since I was a kid. Now I'm totally blind and I've had the privilege of flying more than halfway around the world. The big deal is not me doing this, it's raising funds," he said.

Hilton-Barber, who has been blind for 25 years, hopes the trip will raise some two million US dollars for the charity Seeing is Believing, which works to cut the incidence of preventable blindness in developing countries.

To recap -- a guy who has been totally blind for 25 years was allowed to fly an object into the sky for over 13,500 miles. Look, kudos to Mr. Hilton-Barber for pulling off the feat, but why did anyone feel like this was a good idea?

What's that sir? You want to be a pilot? And you can't see anything? Totally and completely blind? Well... how far do you want to fly this plane? Oh, halfway around the world? And again, you're totally blind? Um... SURE! Let's DO IT!

responsible journalism is a dying art

2007-04-30T03:00:00.000-04:00

I hate Geraldo Rivera. I know that's not the most groundbreaking statement ever uttered. I don't hate him because he's a smarmy nutjob who for some unknown reason still gets paid millions to perpetuate sensationalistic journalism. Well, ok, I do hate him for precisely this reason.

His utterly ridiculous report during the Virginia Tech shooting really highlighted Geraldo at his absolute worst. Just hours after the shooting, Geraldo decided to pay no attention to the facts and instead shifted the focus away from the victims of the tragedy over to the the most sensational angle he could find. I actually saw this clip live and was disgusted:

At the time I had no idea whether the Facebook profile he pulled up was indeed the actual shooter, but I knew that Geraldo himself had no idea either. In the days to come, the student's profile that Geraldo pulled up was proven not to have any link to the actual Virginia Tech shooter. The page belonged to another VT student, Wayne Chiang, who definitely has some personal issues of his own, but has handled the attention with surprising grace, stating in his blog:

Please remember: the real tragedy isn't the racist remarks going on, false accusations, ineffectiveness of the administration, or gun control rights. These things are superficial. This time period will be the darkest of Hokie history...

I want to further reiterate that there is no "tragedy" concerning me. Instead, we should turn our attention to those in need down at Virginia Tech.

The recklessness Geraldo showed by pushing this "news" story goes beyond anything like Don Imus' transgressions against the Rutgers women's basketball team. Yet Imus got canned, and Geraldo gets to continue reporting his idea of the facts. How is this acceptable?

boto dolphins suck

2007-04-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

I was watching a Discovery Channel HD show called Planet Earth this afternoon (by the way, one of *the* most amazing nature programs ever made -- I'm not a huge nature freak by any means, but this show is fantastic, especially in HD). Today's show centered around the creatures who live in various rivers and lakes around the world. I had heard about the Amazon's freshwater dolphins, also known as boto dolphins, back in elementary school, but I completely forgot what they looked like. Until now:

Um... gross? What kind of ugly, warped creature is that? Give me a good ol' bottlenose dolphin any day:

Uh huh. That's how we do it. How about a solo shot?

Bottlenose. Best dolphin *ever*.

speaking of bad days...

2007-04-12T18:59:00.000-04:00

I present to you all the best video clip ever:

you think you had a bad day?

2007-04-12T18:29:00.000-04:00

Remember that "You Had a Bad Day" song they'd play for each contestant as they got voted off American Idol last season? Well, someone should play it for Taiwanese zoo worker, Chang Po-yu today. From the Associated Press:

Crocodile chomps off zoo worker's arm

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A zoo worker had his forearm reattached Thursday after his colleagues recovered the severed limb from the mouth of a 440-pound Nile crocodile, an official said.

The crocodile severed Chang Po-yu's forearm on Wednesday at the Shaoshan Zoo in the southern city of Kaohsiung when the veterinarian tried to retrieve a tranquilizer dart from the reptile's hide, zoo officials said.

The Liberty Times newspaper said Chang failed to notice the crocodile was not fully anesthetized when he stuck his arm through an iron rail to medicate it.

If the story wasn't bad enough, check out the photos:

* Thanks to Mark for digging up the story!

fare thee well, arron

2007-04-11T04:08:00.000-04:00

UCLA shooting guard, Arron Afflalo, has declared himself for the NBA Draft yet again, and this time there's no going back. There's two things I've always wondered about Arron:

1) Why is his first name spelled with two R's instead of two A's?
2) Why does his last name have that extraneous L in it?

Really, wouldn't it have been easier for everyone involved if he was just Aaron Affalo? Would it have killed him to make those changes to make our lives a little easier? I think not.

In any case, since I broke down the strengths and weaknesses for Jordan Farmar last year, I figure might as well do the same for Arron, so here goes:

Strengths

He's a willing defender - Arron works really hard to shut down any player he's matched up against. He takes every one on one matchup to heart, and despite limited lateral quickness, almost always manages to stay in front of his man. He won't necessarily generate a ton of steals, like speedy teammate Darren Collison, but his man will find it difficult to get a clean shot off when Afflalo clamps down.
He can hit the open three - Afflalo has a quick release with nice form on his shot. He's adept at coming off screens while still being in position to drain the outside J.
He is a great finisher - Despite his limited jumping ability, Afflalo has a knack for getting the ball in the rim on breaks, no matter what the defender tries to do to stop him.
He's a solid guy - Always a team player, always says the right thing to the media, always wants to win. Really, just a stand-up kid.

Weaknesses

He's not the most athletic kid in the world - Arron lacks the explosive jumping ability you usually see in NBA 2-guards these days. He is more of a jumpshooter than a rim rocker. He might have trouble getting his own shot in the NBA unless he comes off a ton of screens.
He has a tendency to crumble under pressure - In the biggest games of his career versus Florida, Afflalo was all but invisible. In a few key games this season, such as losses to Cal in the Pac-10 Tournament and NCAA Tourney games against Indiana and Pittsburgh, Afflalo struggled mightly to make shots. The worse things got, the more he pressed, which only compounded the poor shooting.
He needs some Pro-Activ solution - Look the kid can't help that he's got major acne all over his face, but at some point, the boy has to become a man. Follow P Diddy and Jessica Simpsons example, and use your signing bonus to buy some Pro-Activ, won't you?

All things considered, the very best case scenario I see for Afflalo in the NBA is a career like Bruce Bowen or Raja Bell. Glue guys who are known for their fierce D, but can also hit the open three when called upon.

The question is this -- would you use a first round pick in the hope that he can turn into Raja Bell? At best? I'm worried many NBA teams will say no, and drop Afflalo into the second round, where his contract would not be guaranteed. If this happens, I'm not sure Arron will look back on his decision to leave as a wise one. I hope however, that things work out.

Good luck Arron! See you in the NBA.

pool tricks are for kids

2007-04-09T04:17:00.000-04:00

It's late and all that's on television at this hour is some sort of this best trick pool competition on ESPN. This one guy just set up two rows of dominos protecting the pockets on opposite ends of the table, and the setup is as follows -- the cue ball has to jump over the first wall of dominos, bounce on the middle of the table, clear the second wall of dominos, and drop another ball into the corner pocker on the other side.

The commentator follows up this setup by saying "it's not as easy as it sounds, because he has to make that ball in on the other end." Then he reiterates his comment another 2 times repeating the caveat that "it's really not as easy as it sounds." Um, in what world does that trick sound so easy that it needs a caveat? I think one thing is clear... I really need to go to bed.

I couldn't find the trick in question, so instead I found this video for you to enjoy. The tricks are pretty amazing and the dude performing the tricks is sufficiently goofy looking, but what's with the choice of Hoobastank as the background music? Is that what gets pool players pumped up? Again, I really just need to go to bed.

ford is run by the devil

2007-04-05T19:22:00.000-04:00

Just read an article on CNNmoney.com that talks about how Ford's CEO, Alan Mulally, got $28 million dollars as a pat on the back for running Ford into a $12.7 billion (yes, billion with a "b") deficit for 2006.

The article notes the following:

His base salary was $666,667, which works out to annual pay of about $2 million. He also received restricted stock grants, which the company valued at $920,404, as well as 3 million stock options valued at $7.8 million. The stock options are not yet exercisable, and they have an exercise price of $8.28, or about 4 percent above current prices.

Hold up... a base salary of $666,667? That's probably rounded up from $666,666.66666666666666666. Hello, Ford? Repeating 666's? Is this not the first sign that you've hired the devil? And you're suprised you lost $12.7 billion because why?

hillary is nothing if not consistent

2007-04-04T20:51:00.000-04:00

Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2006:

Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2007:

alanis' humps

2007-04-04T20:39:00.000-04:00

Alanis Morissette has recorded an uber-dramatic version of the Black Eyed Peas classic, My Humps. The parody video takes a barrel of digs at Fergie and the Peas, so that's always a plus. Check it out -- it's not often you get to see Alanis' humps, and her lovely lady lumps as well.

congratulations to discover card!

2007-04-04T17:54:00.000-04:00

...for creating what is sure to be the least requested credit card ever:

red pandas suck

2007-03-28T17:47:00.000-04:00

News story from Sydney, Australia:

Twelve week old male Red Panda cubs, Jishnu, left, and Tenzin, go on show to the public at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia, on Wednesday, March 28, 2007.

Red pandas... that sounds pretty interesting. Then I saw a couple pictures of them:

Um, that's just a red raccoon, man. If that's a red panda, give me a real panda any day:

Oh yeah, that's the stuff... give me one more, baby:

That's how real pandas roll. Yeah, what's up red panda? You think you're so damn cute? You got served, yo.

starbury isn't all that bad, i guess

2007-03-27T21:03:00.000-04:00

I had heard a while back about New York Knicks guard, Stephon Marbury (or as he refers to himself, "Starbury"), endorsing a line of sneakers that cost only $14.98 a pair, but I never thought much about it at the time. Earlier today, it was reported that Marbury has enlisted Ben Wallace to join the effort to bring affordable footwear to the market.

"Kids don't really understand what it takes to go out and buy a pair of $300 pair of shoes," Wallace said at a news conference on Tuesday. "We don't understand the pressure we put on our parents when we're growing up. This is one of the things where I think the parents will appreciate it a lot more than the kids right now because it eliminates so much stress from the parents. All parents want to see their kids have nice things."

Launched a year ago, the Starbury line is expanding from 50 products to 200 — nearly all available for $14.98 or less at Steve & Barry's University Sportswear. It includes a joggers shoe, skater shoe, casual shoe, gym shoe, woven shirts, jackets, jeans, T-shirts, shorts, hats and other accessories.

At a time when youngsters feel pressure to wear expensive brands of shoes and clothing and are even being killed for what's on their feet, Marbury and Wallace are trying to provide an alternative.

I was never a big Stephon Marbury fan, but applaud this cause. These shoes are no worse in quality than shoes sold for 7, 8, 9 or even over 10 times the price by Nike, Adidas, and Puma. There have always been cheap sneaker alternatives (like the infamous Payless Shoe Source, ProWings brand), but none with the cache of two NBA hoop stars standing behind the product (which could save today's kids from the "cheapskate!" taunts that plagued me during my elementary school years -- hey, I'm Chinese... that's how we roll).

In any case, the shoes actually look pretty nifty. You can reserve your own pair here. I recommend the patriotic red, white and blues. If nothing else, you can hang them up on your flagpole if you end up not liking them.

VT alums are apparently highly caffeinated

2007-03-22T18:37:00.000-04:00

If you guys have been watching the NCAA Tournament at all the past couple weeks, surely you've come across the following commercial. It features a Virginia Tech alumnus who has a ritual for VT games involving Coca-Cola.

The basic jist is that he always has to hold a can of Coke in his hands for the duration of the game. There's also some superstition about needing to crack open a new can before taking the final sip of the old can. So far, this seems reasonable enough.

Then the guy mentions that once the can is empty, he uses it to build out the VT logo, and the camera pans down to about 20 Coke cans lined up on a coffee table. Are you telling me that this guy drinks 20-25 cans of Coke during a single game? How is this possible? Shouldn't he be dead at this point?

Don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big fan of Coca-Cola. But even for me, after about three Cokes, all that acidity starts to get a little disgusting. I can't even imagine what it would feel like after the 25th Coke. Ick.

Here's the commercial, in case you wanted to see the magic for yourself:

jeff garcia? really?

2007-03-21T21:41:00.000-04:00

NFL quarterback, Jeff Garcia (formerly of the 49ers, Browns, Lions, and Eagles), just got engaged to marry Carmella DeCesare, the 2004 Playboy Playmate of the Year. Yes, this is the same Jeff Garcia who sparked this response from Terrell Owens in a Playboy interview back in 2004:

PLAYBOY: Former 49er and current Cleveland Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia, with whom you played for years, has denied media rumors that he's gay. What do you think?

OWENS: Like my boy tells me: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.

Not that Owens should be taken as an authority on much of anything, but what to make of this marriage if he's even vaguely correct? Maybe it's an elaborate Can't Buy Me Love-type setup, with Garcia in the Patrick Dempsey role. He probably told Carmella that he'd buy her a white leather jacket to replace the one she stole from her mom and ruined, but only if she'd pretend to be his wife to dispel any lasting rumors about his sexual orientation (not that there's anything wrong with that... as the Seinfeld crew might say).

In any case, look for Jeff and Carmella to cruise into the sunset on a riding lawnmower very soon.

Just to recap... this guy:

Somehow landed this girl:

Even though he also takes photos like this:

But his mom likes it, so he's got that going for him... which is nice:

sanjaya makes the ladies weep

2007-03-21T03:00:00.000-04:00

So I'm watching American Idol (TiVo delayed, of course -- the only way this bloated show is vaguely watchable), and I was about to fast forward through Sanjaya Malakar's performance when I noticed a girl in the crowd that was literally brought to tears by his singing.

If you've watched Idol at all this season, you know first-hand how non-tear-invoking Sanjaya should be. He's a wispy Indian kid with a weak voice and an effeminate stage presence. But I guess that hits a very special spot for some people.

In the little girl's defense, she was only like 10 or 11, so theoretically My Little Pony could bring her to tears as well.

Just to recap... this guy:

Made a little girl do this:

the answer: knocked up

2007-03-20T03:18:00.000-04:00

The Question: What is the funniest movie of 2007?

A bold prediction? Maybe. But I could not stop laughing during the last Judd Apatow flick, The 40 Year-Old Virgin, and from the looks of the trailer, Knocked Up makes its comedic older brother proud.

The cast itself includes some carryovers from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, starring Seth Rogen as a portly, yet fun-loving dude who gets Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl preggers after a one-night stand.

Granted, the movie will definitely be a bit vulgar. But, like The 40-Year-Virgin, I expect Knocked Up will balance some truly touching and genuine moments with its outright potty humor. In any case, my description of the premise doesn't do the trailer justice... you'll have to watch for yourself. Thank goodness for YouTube. And be forewarned, this is the R-rated version of the trailer so slap on your headphones if you're at work.

the house party continues

2007-03-19T20:26:00.000-04:00

My pal John had an interesting gig this past weekend. He got to be the photographer on the set of Kid's new music video. Who's Kid? Come on, playa. Kid, from Kid 'N Play, yo!

What, you ask? He still makes music? Yeah, I said the same thing. And apparently, the answer is "hell yeah, biyatch!"

Let's take a time out to remember the greatness of Kid N' Play, shall we? Ah, the memories.

really bad ad...

2007-03-19T16:26:00.000-04:00

Now, I've seen my share of bad ads, but this one is a bit baffling to me. What's with the choice of image here? Why is DJ Tanner from Full House advertising for a mortgage broker? And why is she standing like VICI the robot from that Small Wonder TV show? And what do robots have to do with refinancing a mortgage anyhow? Very odd.

golf and life

2007-03-02T14:03:00.000-05:00

When I was first introduced to the game of golf, I was intrigued. It seemed so simple on the surface -- just swing a club, knock a ball into a hole. No problem. Then I started to play a bit more, and I found out that golf was actually quite frustrating. Lots of mis-swings and errant shots careening all over the course, but just when things seem terrible, you'll hit a miracle shot that re-ignites your passion for the game.

There was a time when I was really into golf, playing almost every weekend, focusing on improving my game. Then after being in a groove for a while, the wheels just started to come off. Golf got repetitve, my game wasn't growing, I was no longer able to keep my focus during the long rounds, and the miracle shots were fewer and further between. I basically decided not to play anymore. It just wasn't worth the money and the trouble to keep hacking away.

Why do I tell you this? Well, because golf is like relationships. This is what I realized. Sure, it seems like an enjoyable endeavor on paper, but once you actually get in the game, it's really more frustrating than you can ever imagine. Miracle shots keep you coming back, and you practice to refine your swing and keep the game interesting, but a couple bad rounds can really sour you on the whole experience.

But like relationships, I know one day I'll be back swinging away. As a guy, it's just one of those things that you can't avoid. And who knows, maybe I'm no Tiger Woods, but hopefully I'll be able to love the game enough to keep playing until I'm old and gray.

and the oscar goes to...

2007-02-26T00:21:00.000-05:00

Ah, Oscar night. There's really nothing like it, is there? Well, except for Emmy night, Golden Globe night, and Grammy night, I guess, but I digress. In any case, here's to the moments that stood out (to me anyhow) from the 79th Annual Academy Awards:

Most Truthful Opening Monologue Line - Ellen DeGeneres stating, "It's not that we don't have time for long speeches, we just don't have time for boring speeches." Amen, sister. Amen. Spice it up, people!
Most Tiresome Awards Show Act - Jack Black singing yet another over the top comedic rock tune. Ok, I get it, dude. I get it. Please stop.
Oddest Hairdo - Will Ferrell, who showed up looking like Sideshow Bob. I really hope it's for a movie, and not just something he thought would look stellar on Oscar night.
Most Strangely Buff Presenter - Jessica Biel. She used to be hot, but now she just frightens me.
Worst Commercial - Some sort of birth control-related ad directing me to fewerperiods.com. Um, thanks but no thanks.
Funniest Presenter - Jerry Seinfeld with his schtick on not having to clean up after yourself in a movie theater. I miss you, Jerry. Come back, won't you?
Saddest Songstress - Beyonce Knowles, who desperately tried to out-sing her Dreamgirls co-star, Jennifer Hudson, but ended up getting upstaged instead.
Lamest Oscar Acceptance Speech Ritual - Not letting the second member of a winning team say even a single word before getting played off by the orchestra. Come on, let that second Oscar winner thank their mom at least, won't you?
Best Oscar Winner That I've Actually Had Dinner With - Ruby Yang, who won her Academy Award for Best Documentary Short Subject. She's the aunt of my Aussie pal, Natalie Yan. Congrats!
Most Interesting Shadow Dancing Troupe Creation - I'm not sure why this was a part of the show, but if I had to choose one, I guess I'd pick the 007 gun. I guess.
Oscar-Nominee Most "Moded" By Ellen - "Marky" Mark Wahlberg. During a comedic bit meant for Martin Scorsese, Ellen made some small talk with Mark Wahlberg, but had to cut him off when he refused to stop talking, and just walked past him. Ouch, Marky Mark. You got moded (for those of you not steeped in 80's schoolyard lingo, here's a definition).
Most "Moded" Award, First-Runner Up - Clint Eastwood's wife, who's photo taking skills got dissed for Steven Spielberg.
Dead Person With the Most Applause - Jack Palance. Robert Altman gave him a run at the end, but Jack pulled off the win, capped off by some one-armed push-ups in heaven.
Most Questionable Ending - Jack Nicholson reading off The Departed as Best Picture winner. Isn't he a bit too biased to be presenting that award? What if The Departed wasn't even written on that card, and Jack just threw it out there? Would they stop the awards show, taser Jack, and read off the real winner instead, or just let The Departed win to save face? Makes you wonder...

What did you think? Did I miss any of your favorite moments?

deja vu all over again

2007-02-25T17:39:00.000-05:00

I just got an email from my cell phone carrier proclaiming that "Cingular Wireless is now the new AT&T Wireless!" Truly exciting news if not for one glaring ommision -- Cingular Wireless was already the *old* AT&T Wireless. So bascially this carrier spent tens of millions of dollars to make all the old AT&T Wireless folks forget that they were ever AT&T users, and then a couple years later spent tens of millions of dollars to make sure that these exact same users remembered the AT&T name.

I guess it would be too much to ask for the money to go to something like upgrading cell phone towers to improve coverage. Then maybe that whole "fewest dropped calls of any carrier" campaign might actually be closer to the truth (on a side note, how are they measuring this? Because my calls drop CONSTANTLY. If this was claim was true, Sprint and Verizon must be dropping calls every 5 seconds by comparison).

Oh well, what do I know. Logic and big business don't mix, I should know this by now.

as seen on tv

2007-02-24T15:16:00.000-05:00

As an avid television watcher and self proclaimed night owl, I have seen more than my fair share of infomercials. For some reason, this one product in particular stuck out in my mind -- the Quik Top.

What is the Quick Top, you ask? Well according to the website:

Quik Top is the revolutionary new can cap device that prevents spills and keeps your drinks fresh and carbonated by turning any can into a bottle. Quik Tops produce a watertight and airtight seal and they’re guaranteed never to leak.

So essentially, it's a lid that keeps any can of carbonated soda from going flat. Not a terrible idea on paper, but when's the last time you found yourself drinking a 12 ounce can of soda and just felt like there was absolutely no way you could finish it? And even if that were to happen, how much soda would there still be left in the can? Like 4 sips max? Is it really worth twenty bucks to save about 9 cents worth of soda?

I'm absolutely baffled by this product. If you're a Quik Top owner, please, I beg you, explain this to me, won't you?

can you feel the love tonight?

2007-01-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

I don't think this is what Elton John had in mind when he wrote that song for the Lion King sountrack...

a christmas song for you

2006-12-20T17:17:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to wish everyone an early Merry Christmas. And what better way to say it than with an SNL sketch featuring Justin Timberlake dressed up like the lead singer from Color Me Badd? The lyrics are on the vulgar side, so be warned -- if you're at work, wear some headphones.

Happy Holidays everyone!

random musings...

2006-12-13T20:02:00.000-05:00

Some random thoughts for the day:

I had a chance to move to New York about a year and a half ago, but I decided to move to Los Angeles instead. But this article makes me wonder if I made the wrong choice.
Yao Ming is actually good, people. See, Asians got game, yo.*
Friday Night Lights is the best show no one is watching. It's entertaining even if you don't watch football. No, really.
Eric Gagne is on his way out of Dodger town after spending 2 years on the DL. From electrifying to invisible, I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about this news. But I'll always associate the words "Game Over" to him. Well to him and to Pole Position II. Damn, I was bad at that game.
My favorite Speaker of the House ever? Tip O'Neal. I have no idea what he did, that's just a sweet name.
I can't believe Christmas is only a couple weeks away. Man, I can't wait for my mom to buy me another red sweater vest. Gee mom, you know me so well.
I have been trying to get into the Showtime Original Series™ Dexter, but it's really not that compelling. Why all the critical acclaim?
If you had $25 to spend on a White Elephant gift for a gift exchange on Sunday, what would you buy?
Did I mention UCLA beat USC this year? What? I did? Like a million times? Oh, good.

* Statement applies only to Asians 7'6" tall and above

oxymoron of the day

2006-12-12T17:37:00.000-05:00

From the Associated Press via Yahoo! News:

World's oldest person dies at 116

MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bolden, recognized as the world's oldest person, died Monday in a nursing home, the home's administrator said. She was 116. Bolden was born Aug. 15, 1890, according to the Gerontology Research Group, a Los Angeles organization that tracks the ages of the world's oldest people.

The headline should probably read Ex-World's Oldest Person dies, since the title is lost immediately as the last breath is drawn. My question is this... does the next oldest person jump for joy when they hear the title is up for grabs? Or is that just too risky with their calcium-deficient brittle bones?

welcome to the real world

2006-12-05T19:36:00.000-05:00

The Real World, Season 473 has kicked off with a new cast set in Denver, Colorado. You know how I know it's in Colorado? Because they tell me so in the opening credits of every single episode. "The Real World. Denver, Colorado." Thanks kids. I thought for sure it was Denver, Mississippi, but nope. I got moded.

Some quick reasons why to watch this show:

Constant bickering between very conservative and church-going, Steven, and his homosexual roommate Davis: Steven thinks homosexuality is 100% wrong. Davis, well, he is 100% gay. Somehow I don't think the math adds up here. Good luck, guys.
Girl on girl make-out sessions in the Real World hot tub: Within hours of moving into the Denver house, roomies Jenn and Brooke make out (and not in a jokey sort of way, they really go to town). Another roommate, Tyrie, an ex-gangbanger from Omaha, Nebraska (yes, a Nebraska gang-banger) is driven mad by the whole experience, screaming, "Can I get in there? What? You won't let me have some?" As Ron Burgandy might say, stay classy, Denver.
Alex, the object of all of the female castmates' desires: Alex, who seems oddly effeminate in a Lance Bass-two-years-ago kind of way, makes out and sleeps in the same bed as roommate Colie approximately 6 hours after arriving in Denver and then makes out with and has sex with hot tub make-out queen (and former Raiderette cheerleader) Jenn the next night. Even Lance Bass would get props for that.
Weeping, weeping, and more weeping: In a 24-hour span, Jenn befriended and then betryed Colie, leading to a tear-filled apology, culminating in Jenn decreeing that she loved Colie's friendship so much that Colie would be one of her bridesmaids some day. Girls, let's give it, say 48 hours before you start making grandiose claims like that.

Keep in mind, this all happened in the first couple episodes. Look, I didn't think much would come from a show set in Denver, but my goodness, you kids exceeded all expectations. Now don't blow it, like the Austin cast did a couple years back.

On the Salinger scale, where a Party of Five is the highest rating, I give the Real World, Denver a solid Charlie, Bailey, Julia, and half a Claud...

3.5 Salingers

The Real World, Denver airs on MTV about 9,000 times each week

a couple final ucla notes

2006-12-04T19:59:00.000-05:00

Can't we all just get along?
From the Daily Bruin:

As the game ended, UCLA students who attempted to get onto the field were pepper-sprayed by police officers. According to second-year student Matt Ross, students stopped trying to rush the field when they were met by security guards and police with pepper spray, but were pushed over a short fence and onto the field by students from behind. "(A) cop saw me falling on my face, and instead of trying to help me up, he held me down by the shirt and pepper-sprayed me in the face," Ross said.

USC Cheerleaders are smart as a whip:

go bruins!

2006-12-03T02:46:00.000-05:00

An amazing defensive display on Saturday carried the Bruins to one of the most unforgettable upsets of #2 USC. It didn't matter that we were only 6-5 before the game started -- this was our National Championship, and we played like it. Surrounded by a sea of red in the Trojan alumni section, I found myself celebrating with only a handful of other UCLA fans while thousands of USC fans looked on in utter disbelief. Truly memorable... I'm glad I ended up getting tickets to the game at the very last minute to share in the victory.

Go Bruins! Thanks for making my day.

just stop already... for your own sake!

2006-11-30T00:25:00.000-05:00

Michael Richards is at it again. As if it wasn't enough to disparage African-Americans at a comedy club a couple weeks ago, E! Online reports;

A woman who attended an earlier Richards comedy show told TMZ.com that the actor lashed out at an audience member, yelling, "You f---ing Jew. You people are the cause of Jesus dying."

After the quote was reported to the press, Richards told his publicist that no one should take offense since he himself was Jewish. Like a homey sparring with one of his boys by dropping the "n" word, Richards could spew anti-semetism since, well, he was a Jew himself. His publicist quickly went to the press and proclaimed Richard's Jewish heritage should protect him from any negative feedback. Only one minor problem...

By the actor's own acknowledgment, he is: (a) not the son of a Jewish mother, (b) not a convert and therefore, even if some of his best friends are Jewish he is (c) not Jewish.

Um... good one Kramer. You know what, just stop. Stop apologizing, stop making excuses, stop talking to the press, stop doing your "comedy" act. At this point, we don't care if you're a racist, because even if you're not, you're a nut job. So do yourself a favor and just disappear. It's ok, in a couple weeks we'll all forget about you. We did it immediately after Seinfeld ended, should be easy enough to do it again. Deal?

say it ain't so, bruins

2006-11-27T04:33:00.000-05:00

Former UCLA Bruin cornerback, Ricky Manning Jr., was suspended for Sunday's NFL game between Manning's Chicago Bears and the New England Patriots. I had heard on TV that he was arrested for felony assault at a Westwood Denny's near the UCLA campus. This led me to search the net to find out more info, and what I found was quite sobering.

From the New York Post:

According to the victim's claims in the police report obtained by NBCsports.com, Manning, Tyler Ebell and Maurice Jones-Drew - all former UCLA football players - were among a group of customers who began to bully 25-year-old Soroush Sabzi, who was seated alone nearby, working on his laptop.

When Sabzi, a student and Swedish citizen of Persian descent, asked to be left alone, the insults, including, "Are you a faggot?" and "You f---ing Jew," continued.

Sabzi, the police report continues, next called out for restaurant management. At that point, Manning approached Sabzi, who was still seated, stood above him and called him a "an ugly f---ing Jew" and a "faggot."

When, according to the report, the victim again asked to be left alone, Manning began to slap him. Manning's accomplices joined in. Sabzi was punched to the ground then kicked, leaving "visible injuries to his face, cheek, head and [sic] lost consciousness for approximately 10 seconds."

And knowing that the NY Post can be sensationalistic, I dug around for more evidence, and uncovered this post on the the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office website:

Manning was with two other former UCLA football players -- Maurice Drew, 21, and Tyler Ebell, 23 -- when Manning allegedly exchanged words with a customer in a Denny’s in Westwood in the early morning hours on April 23. Manning assaulted the victim before leaving the restaurant. He was arrested by LAPD officers a short time later.

The assault charge was dismissed in June against Drew for insufficient evidence. On Sept. 12, Judge Amy Hogue reduced the felony assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury charge against Ebell to a misdemeanor. His case was referred to the City Attorney’s Office for prosecution.

What deeply saddens me is not just Manning's actions, for he is a certified a-hole at best, but the fact that Tyler Ebell and Maurice Drew (who was cleared of wrongdoing, but admits to being at the scene and did nothing to stop the beating of an innocent man) were also involved.

Is this what UCLA teaches our athletes? That they are above the law? Coach Bob Toledo got fired for letting his players run amok (see the Handicap Parking Scandal of 1999), but a couple illegal parkers were nothing compared to former players who assault random strangers. Why is no one making a bigger deal about this? I actually find it hard to root for my own team knowing that we raised a group of belligerent, racist players like these. Ridiculous.

kramer is a racist, jerry... a racist!

2006-11-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

Apparently Kramer is like George W. Bush after the Katrina disaster. As Kanye West might say, he hates black people. Check out the sordid details from TMZ.com:

Richards, who played the wacky Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show "Seinfeld," appeared onstage at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. Kyle Doss, an African-American, told TMZ he and some friends were in the cheap seats and he was playfully heckling Richards when suddenly, the comedian lost it.

The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f--king fork up your ass."

Richards continued, "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf--ker. Throw his ass out. He's a n-----! He's a n-----! He's a n-----! A n-----, look, there's a n-----!"

The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, "They're going to arrest me for calling a black man a n-----."

One of the men who was the object of Richard's tirade was outraged, shouting back "That's un-f--king called for, ain't necessary."

After the three-minute tirade, it appears the majority of the audience members got up and left in disgust.

Crazy, crazy stuff. It's even more unbelievable when you see if for yourself. Check out the full video below:

I suspect we won't be welcoming Richards on Def Comedy Jam anytime soon. And given the damage done, Even Kramer's TV lawyer, Jackie Childs, couldn't help him out of this mess.

friday night lights - tv review

2006-11-08T23:01:00.000-05:00

It's a TV show that's based on a movie that's based on a book that's based on an a real-life Texas high school football team. Don't worry, that's about as complicated as this show gets. The rest of the show is straight-forward and even relatively predictable, but in an endearing way. Friday Night Lights is an entertaining hour of television, with action scenes that deliver enough to please your average football fan, along with enough heart to please your average television drama lover.

Premise:

Friday Night Lights follows the exploits of the fictional Panthers, located in Dillon, Texas (rather than the real-life Permetian Panthers from Odessa, Texas detailed in the movie of the same name). Dillon is a small town who's athletic heart beats around the exploits of their high school football team, so much so, they've built a stadium that seats over 35,000 people -- larger than many college teams can boast.

New head coach, Eric Taylor, is met with exceedingly impossible demands when his star quarterback is paralyzed in the first game of the season, and he must win with a complete novice at QB, Matt Saracen. The struggle to be a good coach, father, and mentor while pleasing an ever vocal and negative town hell-bent on winning every game is the defining theme of the show.

What's Good:

The show does a great job of capturing the passion and obsession of football in a small town. The football action is at times overly melodramatic, but it never fails to suck you in until the final whistle.

What's Bad:

As mentioned, the plotlines on Friday Night Lights are very straightforward and at times predictable. Preachy at times, it is what it is -- a solid, entertaining football show. If you're looking for more than that, you've come to the wrong place.

Breakout Character:

Matt Saracen, former geek now starting at quarterback for the mighty Panthers, learns to balance learning the game of football, building relationships with doubting teammates, a Dairy Queen-type job, an Alzheimer's afflicted grandmother, and a father who's stationed in Iraq -- all in a day's work for your average high schooler.

Newcomer Zach Gilford does a great job of capturing the dueling emotions that Saracen faces as he grows from a quiet teen to a confident starting quarterback.

Overall Recommendation:

I like it. I like it for the same reason I like Snickers bars. They're satisfying when you're in the mood for something sweet and simple. It's a nice change of pace from the Lost's of the world. Watch it. Soon... before it's gone.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, I'm saving a seat for Bailey, Charlie, Julia and a half Owen.

3.5 Salingers

Friday Night Lights airs Tuesdays at 8pm on NBC

studio 60 - tv review

2006-10-24T13:51:00.000-04:00

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a behind the scenes look at a Saturday Night Live-esque late night sketch show. Studio 60 is written by Aaron Sorkin, the writer of the television shows The West Wing and Sports Night, as well as the movies A Few Good Men and The American President. With that kind of track record, I was eagerly anticipating this show. Unfortunately, what worked so well for The West Wing -- polically charged, hyper-intellectual conversations delivered rapid-fire while travelling through the halls -- is one of Studio 60's biggest drawbacks. In the Oval Office, these conversations anchor the show. Presidential Cabinet members are supposed to be hip to the musings of the conservative right and radical left. On the set of a sketch comedy show, these same conversations are as out of place as Bobby Brown at a Say No to Drugs rally.

Premise:

Oscar-winning writer, Matt Albie, and his best friend, Director/Producer Danny Tripp are derailed from making more hit Hollywood films due to Danny failing a drug test. After the former executive producer of Studio 60 goes live on TV to blast the network, the state of television in general, and the overall IQ of everyone that allowed television programming to hit rock bottom, Matt and Danny are brought in to right the ship. Matt's biting wit and amazing writing ability catapults Studio 60 back to the ratings elite, as we see how a live comedy sketch show operates behind the scenes.

What's Good:

For anyone who's as into the television world as I am, there are moments where Studio 60 does a great job in showing us what life is like on the other side of the tube.

What's Bad:

For a show that's supposed to be about a comedy classic, everytime they show any sort of comedy sketch, the results are laughably unfunny. Matt Albie is supposed to be some sort of comedic genius, but his sketches are ridiculously out of touch with anything remotely resembling humor. If they just focused the show on the backstage stuff and never showed us the actual sketches, the world would be a much better place.

Even worse, the dialogue is so forced at times that it delivers more laughs than the supposed comedy scenes. We have the lead players discussing religion, politics, policy decisions, and current events like they were on Capitol Hill. I highly doubt that Will Ferrell and the dude who played Mango had unshakable stances on the role of Christian right in television programming. Well, ok, Mango probably did, but definitely not Ferrell.

Breakout Character:

Sarah Paulson's as Matt Albie's ex, Harriet Hayes, does a good job in reflecting her character's struggles in balancing her beliefs with performing some of the controversial sketches on the show.

Overall Recommendation:

I wanted to like this show so badly, believe me I did, but lackluster is probably the best way to describe it. It's neither as smart as it thinks it is, nor as deep. I wish Sorkin would shift the focus on creating new characters and situations, rather than bringing The West Wing to Hollywood. I half expect Martin Sheen to come on board and run the show as the new network president just to make the process complete.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, I'm saving a seat for Bailey and Julia. An average rating for an average show.

2 Salingers

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip airs Mondays at 10pm on NBC

six degrees - tv review

2006-10-22T23:26:00.000-04:00

Six Degrees is another new fall show this season. Six Degrees is written by J.J. Abrams, who penned Felicity (watchable), Alias (a very good show until Abrams left to write Lost), What About Brian (terrible), and Lost (well, you know). Given his track record, there was absolutely no way to predict how this show would fare. Well, now I know. And knowing was half the battle.

Premise:

Everyone in the world is connected in some way. They just are. And in this show, boy is that true. All the cast members are drawn together by fate or coincidence, as their storylines collide. Um... yeah. That's the whole premise.

What's Good:

The show is set in New York City. And New York is a totally fun place. Well, not as potrayed in this show. But in real life. It's cool. And they have great pizza.

What's Bad:

The storylines are completely contrived to get all of the characters to interact. The dialogue is wooden, outcomes predictable, and the character interaction is not entirely believable. But other than that, the show is a gem.

Breakout Character:

Hmmm... if I had to choose, I guess I'd pick the guy who drives people around. Because his brother is a shady underworld mob-type charater who has a huge scar cut clear across his face. So I guess I'm not choosing the driver guy at all. I'm choosing the thuggy brother. Who has been on-screen for a total of 12 mins in 4 episodes. Great.

Overall Recommendation:

Ok, this review is ridiculously lackluster, I know. In all honesty, I'm not the target demographic. This is aimed at the Felicity/What About Brian crowd, and if you liked those shows, you'd probably watch this one too. It's somewhere dead smack in between those predecessors in terms of quality.

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, Claudia and half an Owen have a seat at the table.

1.5 Salingers

Six Degrees airs Thursday at 10pm on ABC

yet more proof that stingrays are evil

2006-10-19T17:57:00.000-04:00

From the AP newswire:

LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Fla. - An 81-year-old man was in critical condition Thursday after a stingray flopped onto his boat and stung him, leaving a foot-long barb in his chest similar to the accident that killed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin.

My god, these stingrays are worse than Al Qaeda. Why are we focusing on preventing people from taking shampoo and contact solution onto airplanes when stingrays are JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER and killing people? I'm personally raising the terror alert to yellow. No f-that. Orange.

heroes - tv review

2006-10-19T16:16:00.000-04:00

Since I've been lax in reviewing the new fall television shows, I'll start off with a bang and take you straight to the best of the bunch. The best new show? Well, that's easy. NBC's Heroes. Don't believe me? Here's a quote from my co-worker, Steve:

God, this show is so good. I'm all in.

See, I told you. It's THAT good.

Premise:

Think X-Men, the early years. The story focuses on a very diverse group of folks with super powers who are just discovering their new talents. They come from very different walks of life -- a cheerleader, a single mom, a Japanese office worker, a politician, a nurse, a police officer, a drug-addicted artist -- but are brought together, whether by coincidence or fate, for a larger purpose. How large? How about "saving the world" large. Would that be something that would interest you?

What's Good:

The storyline, which is as intriguing as the first season of Lost. You're left trying to piece together all of the clues as each episode unfolds to try to make sense of this universe of characters. What powers do these people possess? How will they all find each other? Who will use their powers for good? Who will use their powers for evil? How will they save the world? Why does the little blonde girl wear her cheerleading outfit 90% of the time? There is not a single show that I look forward to watching as much as Heroes from week to week. Yes, this includes the aforementioned Lost.

What's Bad:

The fun of Heroes is the mystery behind how these super folks identify and unite against a common evil. The problem is, once they actually do unite and vanquish this evil, will the show become the Justice League of America? Who wants to see a group of superheroes in tights fight evil week after week? Boo for that.

Breakout Character:

Hiro, the Japanese office worker who learns that he has the power to manipulate time and space, is a comic-book junkie. He's hip to the fact he has special gifts and he takes to heart the Peter Parker mantra that with great power comes great responsibility. The tongue in cheek way his character is written, pairing his naivete with his true belief that he was meant for bigger things, is fun to watch. Way more fun than seeing Ali Larter take herself too seriously for the 20,321th time.

Overall Recommendation:

Watch it. Watch it now. Need to catch up? They have recaps on NBC.com, as well as full episodes on iTunes.

UPDATE: There will be a Heroes marathon on NBC this Sunday to watch all the episodes of the season so far. TiVo it or something, won't you?

On the Salinger scale, where a party of five is the highest rating, Bailey, Claudia, Charlie, and Julia get invited to dinner.

4 Salingers

Heroes airs Mondays at 9pm on NBC

why is this man famous?

2006-10-13T13:17:00.000-04:00

Can someone take a couple seconds to explain to me the Dane Cook phenomenon? I really don't get it. This guy is the absence of funny. Yet people adore him, especially adolecent girls who scream his name. Why? Because he looks so smug all the time and grows just enough facial hair to give him that i'm a slacker dude stubble?

I blame MySpace for all of this. Damn you.

and the world shrugged...

2006-10-12T18:41:00.000-04:00

Recently demoted Arizona Cardinal QB, Kurt Warner, said that this may be his last season in the league. Are you telling me there is no place in the NFL for a 35-year-old journeyman backup quarterback who's main talent is alternating between throwing interceptions and getting sacked in the pocket? What is the world coming to?

tour de scandal

2006-07-28T12:43:00.000-04:00

2006 Tour de France champion, Floyd Landis, has been accused of doping due to a high level of testosterone in his system after his tour win. This has lead many in cycling circles to cry in outrage, urging that Landis be stripped of his Tour title.

In his defense, Landis proclaimed:

"We will explain to the world why this is not a doping case but a natural occurrence,"

"I would like to make absolutely clear that I am not in any doping process," Landis said. "I ask not to be judged by anyone, much less sentenced by anyone."

To which the world responded:

"You ride a bicycle, you're skinny as a rail, you're freaky looking, you're name is Floyd, and you won a race in France. If your name ain't Lance, NOBODY CARES."

today's laugh at the expense of someone else's misfortune award goes to...

2006-07-27T16:47:00.000-04:00

... this guy:

Mental note, if there's a St. Louis Cardinals game occuring at the same time a huge storm front moves into the area, do not attend the game. I repeat, DO NOT ATTEND the game. Ouch.

(not so) shocking news of the day

2006-07-26T14:43:00.000-04:00

Lance Bass, former NSYNC boy band member and wanna-be astronaut, has *gasp* come out of the closet. In the E! online news article that shocks absolutely no one, Lance says:

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said [that I was gay], it would overpower everything," he told People.

"I didn't know: Could that be the end of 'N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, 'Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did."

"The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that [the rumors] really were starting to affect my daily life," he told People. "Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

Kudos to Lance for confirming the absolutely obvious. Next news flash: Puppies are furry. Shocking! In any case, let the record show that Lance was not the end of NSYNC. Horrible songs where they danced like puppets did the dirty work for him.

Lance is linked to a winner from one of the various Amazing Race seasons -- Reichen Lehmkuhl. Reichen was also linked to Clay Aiken in the past, which only proves one thing. This Reichen guy has terrible taste in washed up homosexual singers.

haley's comet... er, saturn

2006-07-20T18:20:00.000-04:00

Haley Joel Osment, you know the freaky little robot boy from A.I. is in the hospital after getting in a car accident early this morning. From the E! Online article:

The Sixth Sense star was hospitalized in Pasadena early Thursday after reportedly losing control of his car, hitting a brick pillar and flipping his vehicle.

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, the 18-year-old actor was en route to his home in the L.A. suburb of La Canada-Flintridge at roughly 2:10 a.m. Thursday when his 1995 Saturn jumped the curb, collided with a four-foot brick mailbox pillar and overturned before coming to a stop.

The onetime Oscar nominee was alone in the car at the time of the accident and no other vehicles were involved.

Apparently Haley Joel is doing ok, but I nearly wept him after I read this. Oh, not because he was in an accident. Solely for the fact that he drove a 1995 SATURN. Here's what my sixth sense tells me -- movie stars should not drive the same car as my 5th grade P.E. teacher. They just shouldn't.

Haley Joel, get well soon, buddy. And then get yourself to a BMW or Mercedes-Benz dealership ASAP.

i see your 360 and i raise you 720

2006-07-05T17:04:00.000-04:00

Someone's got hops...

That was And1 mix-tape tour player, "The Air Up There" (as an aside, these And1 nicknames are getting a bit out of hand -- if you're named after a lame Kevin Bacon movie, you can't really be that street, can you?).

What's more impressive though, the 720 or Vince Carter dunking over a guy who stands 720 inches tall (ok, he's 7'4", but that's still really friggin' tall). To refresh your memory:

Boo-ya.

well isn't that "bazaar"

2006-06-29T18:01:00.000-04:00

Stealing straight out of the Demi Moore handbook, a pregnant Britney Spears poses naked on the cover of the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar.

The best thing about this is the text on the cover that reads, "487 Best New Ideas." Apparently they left out best new idea #488 -- DON'T POSE ON THE COVER OF A NATIONAL MAGAZINE WHILE NAKED AND PREGNANT!

meet jordan farmar, your newest los angeles laker...

2006-06-29T03:37:00.000-04:00

Yes, another sports post. Sorry to all my sports hatin' peeps -- I'll have something about Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Entourage up here very soon to satisfy your pop culture lovin' sweet tooth.

I just had to comment about the NBA Draft, in particular, my Los Angeles Lakers. Since I'm both a die-hard Laker fan, and a fanatic UCLA Bruin alum, the Jordan Farmar pick at number 26 is especially near and dear to my heart. Honestly, I'm not quite sure where I stand on Farmar -- he is inconsistent but visibly talented. If there's one spot the Lakers need help at, it's the point, so Farmar's not a bad choice here. My quick observations:

STRENGTHS:

He has a will to win -- While the rest of the Bruins folded faster than 2-7 off-suit in the NCAA Championship game, Farmar stepped up and was fearless driving to the hole. You have to admire that, especially against the big Florida shot-blockers.
He's a true point guard -- Farmar has great court vision and has the ability to deliver a pass in perfect position for teammates to score. Witness the heady dish to Luc Richard Mbah a Moute at the end of the Gonzaga game as Exhibit A. He is adept at the drive and kick, and can split double team traps at midcourt. Most importantly he handles the ball like George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven -- always looks cool and calm, never rattled. Look at the difference Luke Walton made when he was inserted into the Lakers lineup. His passing made all the difference in elevating Lamar Odom's and Kwame Brown's games. It's possible that Farmar can have that kind of impact if inserted into the lineup.
He rocked the pre-draft workouts -- Farmar shined at the Orlando pre-draft camp, showing the athleticism that was stifled in Ben Howland's slow down UCLA half-court offense. He even displayed a 42 inch vertical leap... who knew? He's definitely more athletic than people give him credit for, and he's good at mixing speeds, ala Steve Nash, to get to the hoop and shed defenders.
He's not Smush Parker -- Now, you have to like a guy with the balls to go by the name "Smush," but let's face it, he's not the answer at the point. He's a good high energy bench guy, especially defensively, but he's a liability when he disappears in big games. As I stated already, Farmar is unflappable, and would never have pulled the disappearing act in the Phoenix series that Smush did. He just wouldn't have. If his shot wasn't falling, he would have taken it to the rack against the woeful Nash D. Would he have made the ensuing free throws? Well...

WEAKNESSES:

He's not the best shooter in the world -- His free throw shooting is sometimes suspect, but he seems to hit them when the game is on the line. Truth is he's not a bad shooter, I've seen him get hot and drain 3's with ease. On the flip side, I've also seen him as cold as Vanilla Ice, forcing shots that he has no business taking. It's a crap shoot. He needs to work on his range and be ready to shoot when Kobe and Lamar draw double teams.
He's not the tallest guy in the world -- Phil Jackson likes tall guards who can defend well. Farmar is no Frodo, but he stands just under 6'1" tall. He is an adequate position defender, but isn't rangy and long like other Jackson prototypes. He may have trouble guarding more athletic point guards in the NBA.
He turns the ball over... alot -- For a point guard, he doesn't take care of the ball like he should. He sometimes forces dangerous passes in traffic when the easy pass would suffice. He also needs to work on backing players down to protect the ball when in half-court sets, rather than constantly facing up every defender. I think studying Sam Cassell's game would be a great proxy for the skill set that Farmar needs to adopt.
He's young -- Farmar is 19, and needs to put on weight and muscle. This means he probably won't contribute right away and may be a year away.
He is just not a handsome man -- His ears stick out like Sloth in the Goonies. His hair is just all over the place. The dude is not attractive. But money can do wonders to a persons looks. Pin back the ears and get a decent haircut, and you're looking at the next Jason Kidd. Is that really such a great thing? Well, the next JKidd is still better than the old JFarm.

So, am I jazzed about this pick? Well, at #26, the pickin's were slim, and the Lakers did try to address a glaring need. I'm hoping that Farmar and last year's #1 pick, Andrew Bynum, make some strides over the summer and start to contribute. If so, next year's Laker team has the chance to step up a notch. I'm definitely excited to see what happens.

mitch kupchak is an idiot

2006-06-27T18:54:00.000-04:00

From the Los Angeles Times:

Miami won its first title last week, but Kupchak said the Lakers would pull the trigger on the O'Neal trade again.

"We would not do anything different today than we did two years ago regarding the Shaquille O'Neal trade," Kupchak said. "I understand you'd probably like to ask that question, but the response is … we would have made the deal today, the same deal we made two years ago."

I think Mitch meant this to be indicative of his steely resolve and stick to his guns attitude. Instead it just shows everyone what a complete and utter doofus he is. He gave away a Hall of Fame center who led (maybe led is a bit too strong... assisted?) Miami to a championship in 2 years in exchange for Lamar Odom and little else, and Kupchak would do NOTHING different?

Hey ass... how about at least saying, "maybe I would have tried a little harder to get that Dwyane Wade guy in the trade too?" The guy averages 34.7 points per game in the finals and actually probably could have been thrown into the trade with a stronger negotiator, but yet, Kupchak simply says hey, I would do everything exactly the same?

Sigh. I hate you Mitch Kupchak.

dubbledubs

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you think *you* had a bad day?

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